Girls living with parents?

Most - if not all, some I didn’t ask - girls here who I’ve dated or almost dated, have told me they still live with their parents.

Some just still haven’t grown (gotten) out of it, while others moved (usually to the west, with varying intentions) then either couldn’t make it and had to go back to the bank & board of mom & dad, or finished their limited-tenure (e.g. school, working holiday visa) and had to go back to…

I get that familial bonds are very important here culturally - and in Asia in general - but as a westerner, this is really off-putting for me. There’s the lack of freedom (some have told me about their curfews), the mental/emotional oppression of still living with your parents (sometimes in their 30s), and the feeling I can’t shake of being a meal ticket.

It’s enough to make my stomach churn, sometimes literally, and it turns me off almost completely when it eventually comes out that they still live with their parents (these aren’t college kids I’m trying to date) - thus the “almost dated” in the first sentence. I just think of someone who can’t make it on their own in the world, and as I wrote at the end of the previous paragraph, I don’t want to be someone’s meal ticket.

I get that there is a cultural aspect here and while this is a personal judgement I am (believe it or not) not trying to make a general criticism. Rather, since I know this is perhaps the norm here (and throughout Asia), I am trying to understand it, so I can come to terms with it and either continue with my current reaction (“ugh”) or learn to not place so much value on independence (financial, as well as personal) as I would in the west.

Can someone explain this phenomenon? Is it the majority here, or do I just know how to pick 'em?

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If a lady is still living with her parents, she’s probably a good one. She probably has some bank if she’s frugal and works even a menial job. There’s a thing where, if a kid is living in the same city as her/his parents and not in the family home, there is something wrong with the family and it’s shameful. I’m sure if you were in many places other than U.S./Canada you’d find families are under the same roof longer.

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It’s not an western thing. It’s very North American to move out before getting married.

I lived on my own, and I still prefer to live with my parents. They give me a lot of space and let me live my life. It also lets me save up money. What’s the point of paying 40k a month for a tiny studio? Doesn’t sound like freedom to me. Or even worse, paying 15k a month to room with people. I’ve had such terrible roommates and it makes your life miserable.

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When any house here is avg half a million US$, I’d bet some of those in the states would still live at home. In addition there is tradition in having multiple generations in a home in the culture

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Just because someone’s living with their parents doesn’t mean they’re smooching off of them.

If anything guys or girls living with their parents probably have a sizable saving compared to someone on their own, as living on your own you have huge expenses that meant they couldn’t go out much (not to mention being busy all the time).

But American culture says if someone lives with their parent it’s a bad thing…

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Wrong word… I think you mean mooching…

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it’s the economy…when you make 35k a month, would you stay with your parents for free, or spend a third of your income on rent ?
this also explains how a girl making 35k a month can afford a LV bag, when you don’t pay rent, you can spend on accessories.

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Honestly it ain’t a bad thing. its not done out of mooching either. they still have to share the payment for some things. if a girl or guy here isn’t living with the parents they are probably from a different city.

The worst part is probably immaturity that comes with being pampered by your parents because they still want to treat their kids like like kids even when they are adults.

Some girls here are truly useless layabouts. Choose wisely who you date.

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for me that option isn’t open as my parents don’t live in Taiwan.

But I’d still live elsewhere because my parents are very controlling and it’s hard on me. But working 70 hours a week and only making 30k? I don’t know.

It’s not specifically American. Europeans, Australians, South Africans, Canadians are the same.
It’s usually quite difficult to have raucous parties at 3 a.m. when you’re living in a room next door to your parents. As is bringing people home for loud sex and all-night drinking and chemical experimentation.

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Taiwanese don’t really do much of that… or if they did they did it at some club.

Also since people live so close together it’s hard to have loud parties at 3am regardless.

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It’s very normal here in Taiwan for women (and often men) to live with their parents until they get married. I’ve known single women in their 40s still living with their parents. It’s not considered shameful, a sign of arrested development, or a burden on the parents to do so.

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That’s all well and fine, but don’t your parents drive you insane? I loved mine very much, but there’s no way in hell I could have lived with them other than out of sheer necessity and desperation. And you’ve usually got the grandparents there, too!
Sit around the TV all night watching banal sitcoms and discussing, in-depth, what color to paint the walls, when all you want to do is be out meeting people, watching live music, getting pissed and shagging women?
The horror!

Guy

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Not really. This is mostly a North American thing to expect children to move out. Idk about the other places you’ve mentioned. But it’s not uncommon in Europe for children to continue to live with their parents until they get married or have enough to afford a place later down their career.

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quite a paternalistic view, but one that probably accurately reflects how many people see it here.

yup. I’ve gone out with people where I know my salary is several times theirs, and I am amazed by how much money they spend… I wouldn’t feel comfortable making such purchases. I also know people in their 40s who are still living with their parents, who make salaries on the low end or who are not working at all and who have very high-end tastes - fancy restaurants, clothes, that kind of thing. Their basic necessities are covered by living at home so they are free to use the money to splurge on luxuries. What’s interested me is in most if not all cases people have told me they have no desire to save their money to move out or live more independently. I think beyond the actual phenomenon of so many people living at home, what strikes me is this lack of striving - in the sense of striving as challenging oneself, not striving for the newest LV bag. Of course I realize this is totally biased based on my own upbringing. So I find it strange but I’m not dismissing it as “wrong.” I mean I guess it would be nice not to have to worry about food and a roof over ones head (I have worried about this since age 17 so this is such a foreign concept to me, even typing it out feels odd!). And I’ve also observed that it seems to be healthy for the older/parental generation, giving them a sense of purpose, and also perhaps lessening loneliness.

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Well said!

it’s the culture here, you just have to get used to it

most of the women here are basically servants to their parents…it can be frustrating sometimes but there’s not much you can do about it besides moving to a different city or moving out of the country

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My mate’s trying to divorce his wife as she refuses to work, do any housework, and just spends the money he earns.

She’s refusing to agree to the divorce. She’s clearly very happy with their domestic set-up.

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I find it very common here, Mum’s and Daughters, they both worked but housework no chance.
I know I lived with one set.
Previous husband had done all for them, so 9 years they did fuck all! convince them it’s not good, like banging your head against a wall.