Good, Bad and Ugly

Discussion Open Forum
41

Re: urbanjet

Now that i have been here past the one-year mark and am looking toward making it to the 3-year mark (maybe…still making up my mind on that one), I have noticed that I mainly get stared at, but I have retreated back into childhood, back when I was oblivious to everything around and focused on the things I loved. My childhood was very happy then and I find I am much happier now when I have what I call optimism tunnel-vision. I found a wonderful solution to staring when it bothers me. I non-chalantly walk up to the side of the person (most of the staring I notice is on a bus or MRT or waiting at the crosswalk for the ligth to change…otherwise, I am happily oblivious) and suddenly turn my head and catch their eye. Some look away immediately…they’re weak or they just don’t make eye contact in their cultural upbringing. Some look for a little while, but they too look away…not much stronger than the weakest ones. The ones who try to go toe-to-toe with me in maintaining eye contact get a smile, although I have never been outstared by anyone to date. Sometimes my smile is returned. Sometimes it’s not and that’s when the person looks away. I learned my lesson about assuming that everyone stares at me because they are thinking nasty, racist things when I gave a little girl who had been staring at me and whispering to her mother and pointing at me a nasty look and then her mother, who didn’t see me do it, said, “My daughter wants to know how you braid your hair so beautifully, but she’s too shy to ask herself.”

I had never felt so ashamed about how I treated a stranger until then. Now I exercise caution and try not to assume things. I find that the fact that I read and write Mandarin helps improve myself in people’s eyes. I don’t give service people a chance to get a first impression before I begin to speak my best Mandarin with them. I think that I have made an effort to learn about their culture makes them more receptive to accepting my culture.

I still say the foreigners are the ones from whom I see the most bigotry, not the Taiwanese.

42

The only people who truely have a right to complain about unfare treatment in Taiwan are the domestic helpers and laborers from S.E. Asia. God bless them for having to put up with these ungrateful Taiwnese sons-of-bitches for the pennies they make in this shithole.

I agree. I love telling Taiwanese people that my mother has a Chinese maid in America. I also tell them my Filipino neighbors have one as well.

43

Back when my parents were full-time expats and you actually had the option of choosing a Chinese or Filipino maid (70s-80s), most expats opted for the Filipinos because the Chinese ones don’t do any work. In fact, in Beijing, we had two – not because we had a big house, but because it took two to barely do the work of one. They were a joke. One of my sisters had to teach one how to wash dishes (and that empty tin cans get thrown away, not washed and put in the cupboard); the other one threw my dad’s dry-clean-only suit in the washer.

44

~sigh~ It is so hard to find good help these days!

45

Flicka, do you remember seeing a “No dogs or Chinese” sign when you were there?

46

No, Alleycat, it was Beijing, not Shanghai.

47

Just kidding. We had a maid, and she caught me doing a George.

48

What’s a George?

49

A George III, perchance ?

50

George Costanza

51

Eh ?