Google spies on you

So these days I had so many problems and I couldn’t figure out things and things are going South and things are crazy really and today I was thinking that things are bad so I was telling a friend that “something is not right” and you guess what gmail said me yes it said “something is not right” ok so it’s not exactly the same phrasing that I used with my friend but close enough I’m scared please HELP.

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You’re displaying classic signs of paranoia. Have you been drinking too much coffee lately, or partaking of stronger substances?

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You see? you see? seriously this is scary shit. I think that google uses the computer and phone microphones so when you complain about something or say something or that something is not right then something like this happens something I mean sometimes and also internet wasn’t good today so I think they double the efforts they “listen” harder so they can even hear your thoughts. It’s very scary please do not say something near your microphone or something will happen or something.

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Does it recommend golden shower videos to you too?

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It’s not Google, it’s the government. Just look at all the camera on the street. And the taxi drivers, asking questions like “where you from?” That old lady on the elevator, a new question every day. Eerie man eerie.

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@Brianjones Wow, that’s extravagant. My shower is just a normal white tile and steel pipes affair.

I think the palace in Versailles has a golden bathtub, though.

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It must have overheard me when I dropped my gold ring in the shower and got all confused.

I’m spying on you right now!

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Ohohohooohoooohyeeeaaaah! Wonder what happens when Google hears this.

I searched for one software product. Instantly I’m getting adds on other search pages, banner adds on forums and advertised supported software. I could swear that the TV in the washroom is playing adds directed towards me. Now, I’m outside being follow by a guy wearing a sandwich board sign in English.

Have you tried sticking pins in your forearm? Sometimes I pay one of the old guys outside the train station to pinch the skin on the back of my right knee with a set of needlenose pliers. It hurts but it’s real. Good luck.

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Nope, haven’t tried that, but I did Google for “idiot”. No cookie for guessing who shows up. I wonder what Google will do with that info.

Two acquaintances of mine or in that business, you look at something to buy or just interested in and spontaneously banners and ads will appear on every website you visit.

It’s called ‘State-of-the-art retargeting, powered by deep learning …’

Or “black magic”.

It’s a cookie company!

This is fucking weird. Please guys don’t tell me that now I have to stop eating cookies.

What if forumosa sells my data to Google and the government???

The owners get rich!

You watch too much C.S.I.

I feel somehow naked.