[quote=“Elegua”]My sincere condolences.
Missing major life events and funerals has seemingly become part and parcel of our new international existence. These rites were never designed for such an existence. But as other have said, funerals are symbolic actions that help us communicate and deal with the feelings this loss creates.
If it is any help, what I have found to help myself and my family when confronted with these situations is to find a picture, or some important memento, and place it in a place of respect in the house, where we can remember quietly or share memories. But, of course, respect can mean many things depending upon the person involved! Gran’Papa was a very serious man and a papermaker & printer. For Gran’Papa a piece of his artwork is in the library where we can contemplate it quietly. Sometimes it can be quite the opposite. When Fuddy, (a nickname once removed – his sons could not pronounce father properly), passed away, he left a simple Tuborg Beer oilskin apron. He was always in the kitchen with it on. Our kitchen is always a place with lots of commotion. Sometimes when someone wears it while cooking, I get a flash of his memory. I know that in the kitchen with us is where he’d want a part of him to be. In fact, he is there because we remember.[/quote]
That’s very nice, Elegua. Thank you for sharing.
I have a favorite photo of Grandfather and my son dancing. My son was less than two years old. Grandfather was very handsome and quite the ladies man, especially after Grandmother passed on. Old ladies always over to clean or cook. And until fairly reacently, he took them all out dancing. When he was healthier (and before Grandmother passed on, and never with her–poor Grandmother), he went dancing once a week–even when over 80 years old! My son loved to dance, too, still does really, but he’s shy. Anyway, they are dancing together in the photo and both so cute. I spent some time looking at that photo today and talking to my son about it.
I really like what Elegua shared. It helps, really. Anyone else who’s families have special ways of dealing with these things, I welcome you to share, too. I’d love to read what you’ve come up with.