Guess what software Osama Bin Laden uses on his laptop?

shelleytherepublican.com/2006/04 … uters.html
(comments at the above link are worth reading).

[quote]Like most things that are worth owning, Computers are an American invention. Look at any modern computer and you will see that the whole thing is the product of American brilliance.

For example, this rugged IBM laptop I am using was designed and built by an American company. It runs software built by Microsoft, one of America’s most productive organizations. My computer does everything I could possibly want: I can do my work, submit my taxes and even search the Bible.

Like all the greatest American engineering, it’s an example of innovation that makes a growing group of European and Chinese hackers jealous. They hate our lead in computing technology and will stop at nothing until they have control of all of our computers.

I’m talking about a project called ‘Linux’, something you may not have encountered, but might do some day.
It’s a computer program that was initially developed in Finland as a means of circumventing valuable copyrights and patents owned by an American company called SCO Group.

Unlike Windows, which is a mature commercial product which is normally included with every new computer, Linux is given away. Now it may not sound like much of a problem, after all there is very little profit in merely giving a product away.

This would be certainly true were in not for the Linux project’s seductive Marxist ideology and the effect that it has on ‘Blue-State’ liberals. Indeed, Linux is so pervasive amongst the blue states and many liberal universities that a leading computer expert Steve Balmer (from Microsoft) described Linux as cancer.

The American software industry is worth more than $7 Billion; Introducing a foreign product like Linux which is often copied for free could threaten that entire industry. A generation of computer users might get use to accepting foreign software hand-outs rather than paying for a superior American products. If only the danger were just to our economy:

These days computers control everything from TV stations to battleships; Our crucial information and defense infrastructure is built on computer technology. If we allow this cancer into our networks, there is no knowing what the effect might be on our infrastructure, but that is just what liberals are trying to do.

Imagine if the State of the Union address were hacked because the TV station decided to save money by using Linux? Imagine if a stealth-bomber crashed because it’s software was written by anonymous Chinese or European hackers. It would make as much sense as inviting the French to come over and take over the White-House.

And guess what software Osama Bin Laden uses on his laptop?

If you guessed it was Linux you would be 100% right. Osama uses Linux because he knows designed to counterfit DVDs, curcumventing the Digital Millenium Copyright Act, and defraud companies like Disney.

Next time somebody asks you how Al Queda agents pay for their rifles and rocket launchers, you can tell them that foreign hackers make software called Linux which helps them steal from Americans.

This Linux problem is a growing issue, and one that conservative Americans cannot afford to ignore. Fortunately Microsoft have prepared a great deal of information to help computer users get away from this menace. But there is something you can do to help keep American #1 in the computer business:

If one of your friends is using Linux or may be tempted to try it show them this article. Explain that Linux is a genuine threat and that by using it they may be opening their computer to Chinese hackers.

If you see a company using Linux, it may be that they have not paid for this software. Report them to the Business Software Alliance who have the legal authority to inspect any company’s computers for illegal programs like Linux.

Finally, remember to include Linux users in your prayers tonight. As individuals we may not be able to change people’s minds, but the Bible teaches that God can make any sinner repent.
[/quote]

what is the IQ of an average republican american? :s

Linux is an evil cult.

Holy fukin’ shite! That is the most rediculous thing I have read for years. Good to see the comments she received after posting such a load of CRAP.

That’s some of the funniest shit I’ve read in a long loooong time.

  • I just hope it really is a joke.

[quote=“stevegan”]That’s some of the funniest shit I’ve read in a long loooong time.

  • I just hope it really is a joke.[/quote]
    I was laughing for a while. Then realized this might really be someone’s thoughts, checked the site, and sure enough.

Still pretty funny though (and sad at the same time.)

Good to read that again. It’s been a few years since I saw it. Some of the comments are priceless. :laughing: :laughing:

From “Meaning and Purpose”, tiny link at the bottom of the site:

[quote]ShelleyTheRepublican.com is a satirical entertainment web site. “Shelley”* and her friends are fictional characters (*created 1999). Shelley’s opinions are an amalgam of many of the right-wing pundits who are frequently featured on conservative TV and talk-radio.

Shelley’s views are outrageous, offensive and wrong, but no more so than the right-wing pundits that saturate our media. The purpose of this website is to point out how utterly absurd these right-wing views are. The fact that you had a lingering doubt that she was “for real” meant that you too agree that Shelley’s opinions reflect what some Republicans actually believe.

Naturally, Shelley is an exaggeration. No single Republican combines the religious mania of Pat Robertson, the brazen menace of Sean Hannity and the hysterical nonsense of Anne Coulter. Shelley is all of these people and more. The fact that you dislike Shelley means that there is hope for us all.

It’s safe to say that almost all information in all of the articles on this site is false. The web site is designed to be funny. We hope it made some of you laugh.

If you don’t find it funny, we kindly ask you to leave. If you don’t want to leave, we beg you not to ruin the joke for others. If we have upset you we are truly sorry. Despite what Shelly might say, we truly appreciate your comments. Every one of you who commented on the site, you made our day. Thanks. We really mean it!

And now our final thought; Anybody can shoot down an utterly preposterous argument. We believe that it takes a great deal more rhetorical alacrity to argue for something that is blatantly insane. A child could find the flaws in Shelley’s arguments and most teenagers have a better grasp on reality than that fool Tristan.

Imagine what it must have been like to be Scott Mcellan, GW’s former press secretary. Like many Americans, I enjoyed watching Scotty squirm on that podium. Just like Scotty, we are working hard to keep you entertained (although we can not always comment because there are ongoing legal proceedings).[/quote]

Well, that’s a relief.

[quote=“Brendon”]From “Meaning and Purpose”, tiny link at the bottom of the site:

[quote]…
Naturally, Shelley is an exaggeration. No single Republican combines the religious mania of Pat Robertson, the brazen menace of Sean Hannity and the hysterical nonsense of Anne Coulter…
[/quote][/quote]
Obviously, someone who has never visited the Forumosa IP forum.

No…really…this all real…seriously real… :unamused:

Comrade Stalin uses Linux so it must be okay. :slight_smile:

[quote=“Richardm”][quote=“Brendon”]From “Meaning and Purpose”, tiny link at the bottom of the site:

[quote]…
Naturally, Shelley is an exaggeration. No single Republican combines the religious mania of Pat Robertson, the brazen menace of Sean Hannity and the hysterical nonsense of Anne Coulter…
[/quote][/quote]
Obviously, someone who has never visited the Forumosa IP forum.[/quote]
You owe me a mouthful of partially masticated pea crackers.

The article is dated April 26, 2006…
that is also when its 500-odd comments start…

Well its been copied from somewhere else then. 'Cos I’ve read it before, a long time ago. The comments have only been made since it was published on the blog, so that makes sense.

So anything freely given away is illegal. There goes presents under the tree at Xmas.

From the comments.

[quote]
Also I would like to mention that Apple’s ‘Mac Os X’ is a real threat, too. This damn extrem leftwing company is giving millions to the democ-rats!!!
Also I suspect that this Mac OS is sending personal information to Apple and other communist companies and organizations[/quote]

Hmm, billionaire Steve Jobs is actually a communist. Who’d a thought?

[quote]You cannot even buy popular utilities like Norton Security to compensate for this fact. There are no tools for common tasks like defragging a hard disk. God knows what you would use to send a fax or make a website. You cannot even get Front Page for Linux.

Linux is that bad; The only explaination I can think for people using it is that it by-passes the protection given by American companies and the Dept of Homeland Security. It should be considered a terrorist program[/quote]

You cannot buy programs for it. Isn’t that the point?

It should be considered a terrorist program? Osama wasn’t responsible for 911, Bush wasn’t responsible for 911, Saddam wasn’t responsible for 911. And guess what? It wasn’t even a plot by Jewish bankers.

It was Linux. Bastards. Tricky bastards. That’s what they are. Tricky. Fucking tricky.

Now all we need is a smart bomb that targets all Linux developers/users.

Hmm, on second thoughts maybe not. If the smart bomb depends on MS to work it’d probably take out Fox News HQ.

Ok. If you say so.

And that’s just from the first 5 or so comments. There’s 490 more of them to go.

And I don’t even use Linux. WTF?

Sounds like an article from The Onion, or some other parody. It HAS to be parody, right? Nobody can be that stupid…

you never know with americans… :loco:

[quote=“5566”][quote]Nobody can be that stupid…[/quote]you never know with Americans… :loco:[/quote]5566-
yup…me n’ my brudder agree…