Yesterday it was confirmed that I am pregnant.
I am scared out of my mind and going over all of my options ( I dont need any judgment on the morality of those options).
I have no idea who the father is and so if I have this child, I will be doing it alone.
I am a teacher here in Taiwan, with no family or significant other here.
I would not be going back to my hometown as it would be far worst for me to raise a child there than here.
Is there anybody out there who has done this alone in Taiwan? I have a million questions and would love to hear how you handled it.
I have a couple of friends who’ve had babies here recently (with partners though), so if you have any questions about health-care/doctors etc. I can connect you with them.
This might be a nice place to have a baby alone- certainly better than America when you take all the costs into consideration. Healthcare costs are far cheaper here, and most English teachers can make ends meet working part time which means you’d get to actually see your kid. I imagine babysitters are fairly cheap as well.
First of all, I wish you the best, though as a member of the male sex I can’t really say I understand what you’re going through.
Be aware that as Taiwan’s laws stand, foreign dependents of non-Taiwanese citizens are allowed to stay here only until they are adults (18 or 20, I can’t remember), at which point they can no longer have a family ARC. If you are planning to stay long-term and eventually retire here, it means that basically when your child reaches that age, he or she will need to find another way to stay in the country, either through work (unlikely) or school (much easier). Of course, by that time the rules may have seen a complete overhaul, but I just wanted to let you know.
I’m sure you’re terrified, but take a deep breath.
My children were all born in Asia, but none in Taiwan, so I can’t offer much practical help in that department. As others have said, having a baby here is cheaper than many places (and MUCH cheaper than the US), though baby gear can be a bit pricier. I have a friend here who is a single mom (through adoption, so a slightly different situation), and she too is a teacher–she actually changed careers to be a teacher so she could work part-time and take care of her daughter. It can be done.
It’s early days, but make sure you contact your country’s cultural office (AIT or the like) to see what you need to do to get a Certificate of Birth Abroad (or similar) and passport for your little one.
Hugs to you, and hang in there. Feel free to PM me as well.
Thank you everyone. I have just finished the scariest/worst part (for me), coming to a decision.
I have decided to keep my baby.
It’s weird how all the fear went away as soon as realized there was going to be someone who is counting on me…
It’s comforting to know that there is a good support group out here. Despite taking care of kids most of my life, I know nothing about having a child of my own. So I thank you all.
It’s hard having a baby away from my family/home country…(though for cost purposes, id rather have it here!).
I’m sure I can figure things out, but the only thing that worries me at this point in time (and if anyone has any advice about this I would greatly appreciate it), my contract finishes end of July, I’m pretty sure my school wont sign me on again knowing that I am pregnant (especially if they have to give me maternity leave).
By this time I will be at the end of my second trimester… not even sure if it will be safe for me to fly the 20 hours home. Will i still be required to leave the country if its unsafe for my baby? does anybody know if they make any allowances, at least until the baby is born?
I don’t know who the father is, but he is Taiwanese, does that count for anything without being able to prove it?
So proud of you! You are so selfless and loving to go through with having your baby! GONGXI GONGXI!! 恭喜恭喜！！！
I understand that it must have been an extremely difficult decision to make, but I know it will be for the best. That little love ball will make you so happy, you really are in for such a wonderful experience!
If you need help with supplies, let us know. Maybe we could all throw you a baby shower here! at like a cafe or something. :]
I’m sure I can figure things out, but the only thing that worries me at this point in time (and if anyone has any advice about this I would greatly appreciate it), my contract finishes end of July, I’m pretty sure my school wont sign me on again knowing that I am pregnant (especially if they have to give me maternity leave).
By this time I will be at the end of my second trimester… not even sure if it will be safe for me to fly the 20 hours home. Will i still be required to leave the country if its unsafe for my baby? does anybody know if they make any allowances, at least until the baby is born?
I don’t know who the father is, but he is Taiwanese, does that count for anything without being able to prove it?[/quote]
Hey Einstein,
I’m not sure if you’ve talked to your school or not about this, but if I were you, I would do it ASAP. Be up front and tell them your concerns. If they tell you that they won’t renew your contract because of your pregnancy, you need to find another place that will keep you on. It will be much harder to be six months pregnant and looking for a new job than it would be now. At six months, it is still possible for you to fly, and I don’t see you getting help from immigration with that. Additionally, if your job ends three months before your due date, you’ll also be without insurance right before the major expenses kick in. Honestly, you might be surprised by how your school reacts. I’ve worked with lots of pregnant women here in Taiwan, and I’ve seen very few problems. The worst I expect for you is that they’ll ask you to find a sub while you’re away on maternity leave (It’s generally eight weeks here).
Also, on the father front, it won’t matter who he is. Unless things have changed recently, the father’s name isn’t even allowed on the child’s birth certificate if he’s not married to the mother.
I’m wondering if your immigration status here allows you to stay if you’re not working, and whether you can maintain insurance. My experience with the visa people here was rather negative; they wouldn’t allow me to stay two days past my visa end.
I’ve seen a comment here recently that they allow a three-month extension if your employer terminates you. If you don’t have permanent residency, and if you only get a three month extension, that would put you at just before your due date when you would have to have found a job or leave, which would be much harder.
ETA: Just thought of something, perhaps you could enroll in a studying-Chinese language school? Or would the government not allow a pregnant student to remain here (because the healthcare would cost the system money)?
Regarding the father, were you on-island or off-island when you got pregnant?
[quote=“einstein84”]Yesterday it was confirmed that I am pregnant.
I am scared out of my mind and going over all of my options ( I don’t need any judgment on the morality of those options).
I have no idea who the father is and so if I have this child, I will be doing it alone.
I am a teacher here in Taiwan, with no family or significant other here.
I would not be going back to my hometown as it would be far worst for me to raise a child there than here.
Is there anybody out there who has done this alone in Taiwan? I have a million questions and would love to hear how you handled it.[/quote]
You have no idea who the father is- well who said Western women don’t get any action in Taiwan ?!
Good luck to you; wherever you are, it’s going to make your life so much easier if you have a support network. Hopefully some Forumosans can help you out.
I am interested to know where your home town is, and why you would not want to raise a child back there ?
Talking about health care, what is the situation regarding the baby? When he is born, even if she has ARC, the kid won’t, so no NHI, absolutely needs a private insurance to cover initial costs -first 4 months, is that correct?
That is something that can be done now.
Einstein84, I am currently following my sister’s pregnancy from the other side of the world, and listening to advice from local doulas -midwife, birth and pregnancy assistants in one. Really awesome network, especially for first timers. You also have the postpartum care centers available, really awesome stuff if you are on your own.
Just focus now on eating well, taking care of yourself and finding yoga or swimming -light exercise classes suited for your condition. As we say in Spanish: a echar p’alante -moving forward!
