[quote=“UKbikerchic”]I seriously have to say, Well said 914, 
Women really need to be more confident in themselves, this is coming from a very insecure person, but I’m trying.
914 you are my new hero 
[/quote]
Yeah, but when guys say this, it’s a lot different when they’re alone with their SO:
“Yes, honey. I’m sorry, honey. You’re so thin, honey.”
[quote=“914”]Holy shit, what year are we living in? Women still ask this question? If you need to ask your partner this question, maybe you are too immature to be having a romantic relationship with anyone. My girlfriend asked me once if her pants made her look fat and I said no, it was her ass that made her look fat.
What a dumbass question, are you serious, OP? Shit, I feel like I fell into a time warp to Hicktown USA where everyone has a fat ass but wear black cuz “it’s more slimming.”
You should know when you’re fat. If you need to ask someone if you look fat, you have major security issues. A man at the gym said I was “chubby” once. I laughed and told him I thought that was funny. People, don’t let anyone’s comment about you being fat ruin your day. You think it’s worth it? So what if you’re fat. If you are, then do something about it. People shouldn’t need to lie about the fact that you are fat to make you feel better.
Guys, do you wonder why your other half does this? Are they also the kind of women who stare other women up and down and refuse to comment on the attractiveness of a woman?
Woman who do this, it’s pathetic and embarrassing to all womenkind when you ask dumbass questions like this. Get a grip on yourselves.
***I hope this thread was in jest. 
[/quote]
Excellent post :bravo: :bravo:
My wife and I have been married for almost four years, and we were engaged for over two years prior. Never once has she asked me this idiotic question, and I’m glad for it. It’s one of the many ways know I married the right woman.
Women who think a certain outfit makes them look fat or thin are kidding themselves anyways. Even if somebody wears all black, if he or she is fat then that is still going to be completely obvious. One of my old dorm mates used to wear black every single day. He wasn’t into Gothic kind of stuff at all; he just wore black to make himself “look thinner”. But guess what? He was still one fat porker and everybody knew it.
Ladies, if you’re not comfortable with your weight, then get out and do something about it. Goading your husband into telling you sweet lies is not really going to make you feel better about yourselves in the long run.
Trust me, this isn’t the first nor the last time you’ll have to tell her sweet lies. And it’s safer that way.
Now back to the topic:
Funny, that many girls will criticize each other about being fat here in Taiwan whereas in other parts of the country, if you are as thin as most girls are here, people will be asking if you are just recovering from a serious illness or you just came back from Ethiopia.
Thin is pretty much the norm here. Rake thin is what most girls here aspire to.
So I just tell anyone who tells me I need to lose weight that all my previous SOs have thought I was too thin and need to gain weight and my pale white complexion makes me look like a ghost. That usually shuts people up.
Another thing is, what’s the deal about it anyways? We’ve got better things in our lives to be concerned about. If that’s one of your worries, go get a life.
Be healthy. Be happy. and Fuckem’
Even if she’s wafer thin, tell her “yes, you’re a whale”. Use a serious tone and a straight face, so that she can’t be quite sure whether you’re joking or not. When pressed, refuse to change your stance.
After a while she’ll stop asking.
In any case, since when do women like men who are nice to them? If she really believes you think she’s fat, ugly, stupid, or boring, she’ll only try harder to keep you.
(Disclaimer: This post is not entirely serious)
Horseshit. If you’re in a relationship where you find it necessary to lie, then something is wrong with that relationship. I would think that would be pretty obvious.
That was all on topic.
I didn’t say lie. Sweet lies are in a completely different category. At least, that
[quote=“kellohitty”]I didn’t say lie. Sweet lies are in a completely different category. At least, that
I agree, asking your SO if you look fat is not fair.
However (and I’m probably going to be shot down in flames here), have a little compassion for western women here. Chances are that, even if you are fine at where ever you came from, you will have a harder time maintaining a confident self-image here. This is partly because most Western women don’t fit the aesthetic here, and partly because western women have different body shapes and are made to be bigger than Asian women.
I’m healthy and happy with my body back in Australia, but I find that the frequent comparisons and comments about how I’m ‘fat, but still cute’ etc wear me down. And when I’m tired and pissed off with myself about whatever, I do occasionally find myself listening to these comments. And it gets me down, because no-one wants to be considered fat and ugly.
What I’m trying to say is that even the most confident person can lose confidence when they are getting constant negative feedback. So just be a bit gentle.
just say “Take off your clothes. Let’s have a look.”
my ex-girlfriend used to ask the same question. here’s what i did…
i always said “no”. but after the topic had cooled off i bought a bathroom scale. told her it was for me because i wanted to keep track of my weight. sure enough, when i’m not looking she’d use it. this way she knew for herself if she’s really gaining weight. and you can continue to be the sweet boyfriend who’s never told her that she looks fat.
Very true gao_bo_han. If that is of course what he honestly thinks. If he minds, she’d better know about it.
[quote=“kellohitty”]I didn’t say lie. Sweet lies are in a completely different category. At least, that
I think there is where girls and guys just don’t think alike.
For guys, it seems all in black and white. Either you’re fat, or you aren’t. And they’ll tell you.
When your SO goes in to try on a dress she absolutely adores and looks fat in and she asks you: Does this make me look fat?
What do you tell her? She looks radiant, she looks happy and she looks fabulous, but yes, it makes her look fatter than if she wore something else.
You would rather she wore that instead of something that didn’t make her look fat. So are you going to tell her it makes her look fat and then say but it also looks great on her? Do you think she’ll still be happy in that dress now, no matter how much you say it looks fabulous on her? I don’t think so.
Her question isn’t really looking for the answer you think it is. She’s actually asking if you like it on her.
That’s actually what the weight question is really too. It’s a question of approval from you. I think men take questions too literally and just don’t think about it much.
About 99% of the girls I know have an image problem, just more or less. As a girl, it’s not easy accepting your body as it is. Men don’t have that problem as much, not from society, not from your friends, not from media, not from each other. Women comment to each other about their look, their weight and whatever else. I don’t ever hear guys do that when they meet up. They just don’t really care about that.
In Asia, it’s a constant thing and the one question that keeps popping up is weight.
So when you can get their coworkers, friends, family and even mere acquaintances to stop commenting on their weight, then you won’t get that question again - guaranteed.
I don
Spot on, kello!
Most of us have a very complex attitude towards our bodies. That’s not to say that man have to become trapped by it and develop elaborate strategies to deal with it. If a man is consistently honest and loving, shows respect and appreciation, chances are, we already know that he likes us and we don’t need constant reaffirming.
Like kello said, some subtlety is always better than bluntness. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re lying.
Note to women: Don’t ask stupid questions you don’t want to hear answers to.
You know how I love to ask you stupid questions tash.
By the way, how about those Canadian baseball player’s red uniforms? Do you think that shade of red is too red? I think it makes them look fat. 
[quote=“kellohitty”]You know how I love to ask you stupid questions tash.
By the way, how about those Canadian baseball player’s red uniforms? Do you think that shade of red is too red? I think it makes them look fat. [/quote]
Definitely!
Makes you wonder who designed these things, eh?
You mean she gained weight from eating nothing? 
She doesn’t want the truth. She wants to feel good. Would it kill you to humor her so she feels sexy and comfortable around you?
If you bought her a gift that you had spent a lot of time looking for, would you like for her to make a face at it and tell you it’s the most hideous thing she’s ever received, even if that were the truth? Would you tell your boss that his breath stinks and his voice grates on your nerves? Not if you want to keep your job. And the same goes for telling a woman she’s fat.
BTW: this issue is not restricted to women. Not one guy that I have dated would have been happy with me saying that he was fat. And yes: I HAVE BEEN ASKED!
This song by Ottawa punk band FurnaceFace comes to mind when people discuss this issue…
[quote] Spoken:
“Let’s take a look at your love life. Whoever originated the phrase, ‘the way to a man’s heart is through the stomach’ must have been referring to the Cancer girl. You really know how to dine a man and seduce him with all sorts of tempting and exotic dishes, don’t you? This is fine, but just make sure you don’t get nervous and start nibbling too much during the preparation of all this delectable food, because you tend to put on weight easily, then you may find that the romantic atmosphere of the candlelight dinner you’ve taken such pains to prepare is not quite so effective.”
My girlfriend thinks she’s fat
but she doesn’t look fat to me
Girls always think they’re fat
I think they read too many magazines
I take her out to dinner
She hardly eats a thing
She calls herself a cow
and I say, “How 'bout a little (how 'bout a little) [3x]
…a little bestiality?”–
I take her to a movie
She doesn’t like what she sees
but she eats ten buttered popcorns
and then she throws up (yes, she throws up)
Oh, then she throws up (yes, she throws up)
I said, then she throws up, she throws up
…in the sink-
She’s always on a diet
I hear about it every day
She says none of her clothes fit
but you know what? (What?)
I like her better (I like her better)
I like her better (I like her better)
I like her better without them anyway–
Spoken:
Now, I don’t know why you think you’re fat, baby. You make me feel so bad when you say, “Tom, am I fat?” I don’t know what to say. You make me feel so bad because, I mean, even if you were fat, I would still love you. I want you to know that. When you say, “Tom, am I fat?”, all I can think of saying–the only thing I can think of saying is[/quote]
[quote=“Grasshopper”]
…She says none of her clothes fit
but you know what? (What?)
I like her better (I like her better)
I like her better (I like her better)
I like her better without them anyway–CHORUS[/quote][/quote]
You mean she gained weight from eating nothing?
She doesn’t want the truth. She wants to feel good. Would it kill you to humor her so she feels sexy and comfortable around you?
If you bought her a gift that you had spent a lot of time looking for, would you like for her to make a face at it and tell you it’s the most hideous thing she’s ever received, even if that were the truth? Would you tell your boss that his breath stinks and his voice grates on your nerves? Not if you want to keep your job. And the same goes for telling a woman she’s fat.[/quote]
ImaniOU, I normally enjoy your posts, so I’ll just say I think you didn’t read my posts very thoroughly. My wife’s never asked me if she looks fat. And she already feels plenty sexy and comfortable around me 
“You mean she gained weight from eating nothing?”
She’s Taiwanese born, and though raised in the United States she grew up eating Taiwanese food every day of her life (her mom is quite a cook). But then she went off to college and rarely got to eat Taiwanese food. So when we went to Taiwan she went completely crazy eating all the food there, which brought her up to a slightly more normal weight. When we came back to the US she dropped the weight instantly. She’s somewhat underweight actually and I’d like to see her put on twenty or thirty pounds. Maybe forty. My biggest concern is that one day she may get sick, and her body will be without any energy reserves. Even in the US she eats a lot, but never gains a pound. Some people just have a hollow leg. Still, even though she’s really skinny, she’s still very beautiful 
My point on this thread is that honesty is the best policy. I realize that you, tash, and some of the other women on here may not consider it “lying”, but if a man thinks a woman looks fat and he says that she does not, that is a lie. It may be an innocent little white lie. It may be just what she wants to hear. But it is a lie.
No one likes the truth. Especially when you’re guilty as charged. Fat and not happy, change it*. Don’t ask anyones approval because the approval is in yourself.
*Note: to self.