How Aussie are you?

Recreation Fun & Games
#1

in response to the American quiz: hey, HG, this ones for you. and for all those other southern cross folks who lurk here daily.

even if you don’t identify with them, have a gander anyway.

smartasses.org/aussiequiz.html

Fortunately, …

You got 20 answers right.
You got 0 answers wrong.
You’re a bottler, mate!
You are a fair dinkum, ridgy didge, dinky die, true blue, dyed-in-the-wool Ocker-like strine speaker. Well bugger me, you could probably even play a didgeridoo and know the proper way to twirl a billy. Goodonya. Get us another stubbie while you’re up, will ya… and have one yourself while you’re at it!

#2

Only five right. I think my donger’s as dry as a dead dog’s wobbly. :stuck_out_tongue:

#3

yeah, we’re a weird mob.

#4

I got only 7 right.
I hope that doesn’t mean I’ll be refused entry into your fine country?

#5

[quote=“tash”]I got only 7 right.
I hope that doesn’t mean I’ll be refused entry into your fine country?[/quote]

She may have failed the test, but she sure is a looka! Let’er’in wouldja!

#6

[quote]You got 18 answers right.
You got 2 answers wrong.
You’re a little ripper!
You have a near perfect grasp of the colourful gab and can probably make yourself understood in most social occasions, such as Gazza’s weekly Barbie… but I bet you can’t throw a boomerang![/quote]

I can throw a boomerang actually

#7

Bugger me down dead! 20/20 Mate!

#8

Damn, 3 wrong. John Howard’ll take my passport away from me soon.

#9

You got 15 answers right.
You got 5 answers wrong.

You’ll be apples! Well… nearly anyway.
You will communicate fairly effectively with the native population, but they will still mutter “bloody yank” when you walk out of the pub.

I think I’ll go abuse the abos…but not while anyone is looking.

#10

You got 13 answers right.
You got 7 answers wrong.

You’re a battler. Not much of a one, mind… but getting there.
You will have no trouble getting around, and understanding most things that are said to you. However avoid RSL clubs and old peoples homes, the nuances are lost on you.

#11

You got 18 answers right.
You got 2 answers wrong.

You’re a little ripper!
You have a near perfect grasp of the colourful gab and can probably make yourself understood in most social occasions, such as Gazza’s weekly Barbie… but I bet you can’t throw a boomerang!

[The first and last time I threw a boomerang as a nipper it never came back. “Mah Boomerang Won’t Come Back!” We never found it. My uncle had just brought it all the way from Oz. Oh dear.]

#12

20 out of 20, but there were a couple of silly ones that I winged on a guess.

Seems nothing’s been lost from being in a John (I’m a grubby lying scumbag - or as a former Liberal party colleague once described him, “that little c@nt!”*) Howard inspired exile for a decade.

*Well okay, not exactly, but c@nt was used several times. Check the full transcript for an insight into some Oz culture.

** Fortunately enough i had the opportunity to tell Howard I thought he was a “lying little fascist c@nt” to his face once.

HG

#13

Ha Ha! You do a good political exile routine. Just like I’m in Taiwan because I refused to live under a female PM. I’m obviously not here because I’m a drunken loser. Not at all.
:laughing:

Westerners who claim to be living overseas because of, or partly because of, the political situation in their home country are usually deluding themselves.

Edit: HG wrote [quote]20 out of 20, [/quote]
How could you get a perfect score without being - unlike Honest John - a cricket fan? :slight_smile:

#14

[quote=“Huang Guang Chen”]

** Fortunately enough i had the opportunity to tell Howard I thought he was a “lying little fascist c@nt” to his face once.

HG[/quote]

I am so jealous. My life would be complete if I got to do that - I did get to say pretty much the same thing to Alexander Downer once though.

#15

To almas, mate, you can do the drunken bum in Oz with reasonable pay and enough hootch to dress a tribe of hippies. I know, I did it for years.

CF. lil’ Alex is near enough in my book, although that bastard has become something of a real damned politician/ambassador of late. Christ! Did I say that?

HG

#16

Actually, Oz is my next stop after I cash in enough empties for a ticket.

#17

I took this wankering test about 4 daze ago. I think I got about 15 right. And only because most of the lingo was lifted outta the Brit vernacular.

Otherwise, with only the N.Amerikano, I would have gotten about 9.

Next vacation, thinking about heading down under.
TheGingerClan might fit in well, given the right degree of celtic brassy invective…
& then there’s The Sheilas… :scooby:

#18

Came across this photo a while ago.

It’s lil Johnny and his cabinet, circa 1999.

Now the photographer that I am could point out so many things that’s wrong with this photo, photographically speaking. But I won’t.

Look at the photo. Tell me I’m wrong, but is Downer the ONLY one who looks kinda normal? (Brrr, that’s a scary thought - Alexander Downer and normal in the same sentence).

Ruddock looks like a vampire (but for some reason, Dick Cheney comes to mind when I look at Ruddock in this photo). Fahey looks like he’s got a carrot up his arse, Reith looks like he’s about to call his dogs, the 2 guys (who’s names I’ve fortunately forgotten) to Reith’s right look like they’re about to have diarrhea and Johnny himself looks like they’ve stuck a Johnny head on a child’s body.

#19

What a superb shot! A picture is certainly worth a thousand words in this instance! Love to know thwe context. Was this the before Johnny was to hunker down and review his cabinet? There’s very few looking comfy being there. :laughing:

HG

#20

cfimages wrote [quote]
Look at the photo. Tell me I’m wrong, but is Downer the ONLY one who looks kinda normal? [/quote]

Great, let’s just choose politicians based on how they look. And, given the inbred convict gene pool, you can’t really be too choosy. Just look at the Aussie cricket team - they may be the best in the world but they look like a pack of mongrels.