How can I be a better person?

Discussion Open Forum
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[quote=“Ke di er”]What is it about this place? Do we all come here to start slipping backwards?

Have I ever met anyone who really has become a better person in Taiwan? Not yet[/quote]

Nobody.

[quote=“Ke di er”]Good point Tigerman.

Isn’t that what this is all about, “How do I be a better person”?

Everyone needs to improve in some way, or perhaps you are perfect.[/quote]

Watch it. I never said or even implied that I was perfect. You asked whether we all come here and “slip backwards”. I only asked what you meant by “better”.

I agree, but its an entirely irrelevant point with regard to Taiwan… because Taiwan isn’t unique in that regard.

[quote=“Ke di er”]I am a learning Chinese, married to a local, English teaching, money earning type. I have become more skilled in certain areas, learnt many things that I would never have learnt without coming here, learnt more about myself in a single year than I learnt in my whole life. But, I have yet to become what I would call a better version of me.

Better would be being able to live up to the expectations and values that you hold as being important for yourself and moving further along that road.

To me it can be all put together in 1 Cor. 13 and James 1.[/quote]

Sorry, I don’t have my Bible handy. Perhaps you could quote those cites so I have some idea of what you are talking about.

I try. But, I keep my expectations simple. The Golden Rule suffices for me, and I try to be a good husband and father and son and brother. I sure as Hell don’t worry much about falling short… we all do sometimes. Anyway, what’s so difficult about these goals and values I have set?

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Someone please define “better person”. I for one would like to know when I finally become one.

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[quote=“Ke di er”]What is it about this place? Do we all come here to start slipping backwards?

Have I ever met anyone who really has become a better person in Taiwan? Not yet[/quote]

I’m sure that I’ve gained some wisdom and tolerance since I came to Taiwan, and have become more considerate. As I don’t think I’ve turned bad in any way to cancel out those gains, that must mean that I’m a better person than I was before I came here. Nothing to proclaim from the rooftops, but enough to keep me from any excesses of self-loathing.

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I think it’s generally harder to become better in that sense while living in a foreign country because people tend to have less support (their friends and family are far away), there are more opportunities to indulge in a lot of negative behavior they might not back home, and it’s easy to blame failings on the culture, the people in that culture, etc. I think that the last one is especially important. If you’re used to a certain level of crowding, noise, etc., and then you find things more crowded or louder in Taiwan, it might drive you up the wall. If the annoyance happens daily, you end up in a “walking rage.” I’ve talked to a lot of foreigners about this and while people can rationalize why the locals do things the way they do, the behavior is still highly annoying ("Okay, I can accept that people suck their noodles to cool them, but it still can

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I dunno…being really, really stoned with a cold beer in one’s hand sitting on a beach on a Saturday afternoon is never a bad thing.

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OK, HOW TO BE A BETTER PERSON.

A great author, and a mormon (I think), Steven Covey, wrote a great book on this, actually more than one book. “The seven habits of highly effective people” and principle centred living". Are there more books? No time to check.

Let me put in a word for Ke here. One heck of a nice bloke, never preached to me about Christianity, infact I didn’t even know he was a Christian until he finally registered and joined Forumosa. He has been reading the posts here for a long time, but he probably should have held back a bit until people understood him better.

One heck of an English Teacher though, if I could only convince him to come and work for me, but he already has a great job and has a house too far away from where my school is, such a pity.

Ke possibly hasn’t made his point as clear as he should, but I really don’t see where this thread all went wrong.
So, can we all get back on track here and maybe split off this Christian mini thread that has developed and put it somewhere else??!!

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These are the seven habits so you don’t need to buy the book.

Be Proactive
Begin with the End in Mind
Put First Things First
Think Win/Win
Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
Synergize Principles of Creative Communication
Sharpen the Saw

He could have added a few more:
Be as vague as possible when stating the obvious.
Create as many buzzwords as possible to make gullible people think you’re intelligent.
Promise results, make money.

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[quote=“Richardm”]
He could have added a few more:
Be as vague as possible when stating the obvious.
Create as many buzzwords as possible to make gullible people think you’re intelligent.
Promise results, make money.[/quote]

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

A friend gave me a few of his books. Anyone with one year of experience in business and a brain will find them to be a waste of time. I donated mine to the garbage bin.

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[quote=“Tomas”][quote=“Richardm”]
He could have added a few more:
Be as vague as possible when stating the obvious.
Create as many buzzwords as possible to make gullible people think you’re intelligent.
Promise results, make money.[/quote]

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

A friend gave me a few of his books. Anyone with one year of experience in business and a brain will find them to be a waste of time. I donated mine to the garbage bin.[/quote]

That is interesting. The obvious points that he makes in his books are often missed by most of humanity. The Covey institute does pretty well in the business world from what I understand. You may be one of the few that doesn’t need to read it.

I suppose you dislike Eliyahu M Goldratt’s books too. “The Goal” and “Critical Chain”, these concepts turned the company I worked for in NZ around from a piss ant, chump change maker to a multi-million dollar maker all in a matter of one year. Perhaps I like Covey because I read his books at the same time as Goldratt.

Oh well, we live and learn. So far I’ve learnt that I haven’t had a year in business and don’t have a brain. I am also, apparently, extremely gullible.

Wow, you guys should write a book on self improvement. My garbage can always needs donations.

btw, Tomas is a pretty good author, I like that G.E.P.T book. However, while I was in caves some idiot passed it over. Some stupid teacher talking to his student about the GEPT and then he says that he has never seen the test and doesn’t know about it. Then he went on to recommend other books as being perfect for the GEPT - now there is a misguided soul.

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[quote=“Bassman”]
That is interesting. The obvious points that he makes in his books are often missed by most of humanity. The Covey institute does pretty well in the business world from what I understand. You may be one of the few that doesn’t need to read it.[/quote]

Apologies Bassman. My words were too strongly worded. I have a strong bias against most business motivation books. I feel like they state the obvious, e.g. Covey’s book entitled “First Things First” proposes the idea that figuring out your priorities and then living by them is a key to success in business and life. When I read that sort of think, I think “Duh!” Perhaps his writing are useful as reminders of things we ought to be doing to be actualized humans.

Don’t mind me, I tend to distrust and loath public gurus. Now private gurus, I appreciate. Those who like to make a buck off of their expertise bother me. Has a lot to do with purity of motive, if that makes sense.

Never heard of him.

Thanks. If anyone else buys one of my published works, please note that the photo of me on the inside flap was taken after an all-nighter, and when I was in a decidely rotten mood. I look very much like a recently released convict :laughing: .

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Going OT bt I liked Covey’s book too. Sometimes you need to be reminded of the simplest “common sense” things.

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I think that compared to other self help books, 7 habits is one of the best. Now I have to follow that by saying that I think most self help books are garbage. Rarely do they include any timeless advice. Covey’s book kept my interest for three or four chapters. He supports his points with good anecdotes and his writing is probably better than most self help gurus. His books might help some people contemplate how they order their lives. Generally, I agree with his point that a strong character ethic is important. However, his book turns into drivel in quite a few places. I don’t think his goal in writing the book was to open people’s eyes to seven brand new habits. Like other posters have written, these habits are nothing new. Rather, I think Covey’s goal was to help people contemplate how to live by these habits.

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By the way, a friend told me that Covey is a Mormon. Does anyone know if that is true?

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Yes, he is an active Mormon. Speaks at church conferences large and small. He’s got a very good PR machine.

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Yes, he is an active Mormon. Speaks at church conferences large and small. He’s got a very good PR machine.[/quote]

Cool, any other “famous” mormon’s?

I first saw Covey on, ahh hem, Oprah :blush: :blush:
He struck me as someone with good core values and a respect for others. That is why I bought his book. Very light reading but the principles are not that hard. I read it before everyone made pro-active a buzz word. I remember giving a couple of speeches about some of the stuff I learnt from it.

Another useful thing is the personality profile test that the U.S Navy gives. I found it really useful understanding different personality type cobinations and how we change in different situations. I have to admit to not enjoying giving people the test though, you have to answer too many questions and look at too many graphs. I have lost the books and can’t for the life of me remember the name of that test, I worked with three different tests, so I have forgotten.

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This traditionalmedicine.net.au/app3.htm
on the other hand is rubbish, apart from the personality type combination titles.

Where do they come up with this stuff?

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The Domino’s Pizza guy.

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All the posts about Christians were moved here:

forumosa.com/3/viewtopic.php?t=12771

Also posts related to Christians and Mormons might be better here:

forumosa.com/3/viewtopic.php?t=12644
forumosa.com/3/viewtopic.php?t=12649

Brian

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[quote=“Richardm”]I know there are things I should do and things I should not do, things I should do a little less, things I should do a little more. Logic is not enough here. Maybe I should emulate the Buddha and rid myself of desire.
I’m not dissatisfied with my life. I just know that if I had found the Buddha earlier, I coulda done something with my life. I coulda been somebody. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender, instead of a bum, which is what I am.[/quote]

I miss quite a lot here. Since I like this topic very much, I still reply.

Maybe you explore yourself wider and deeper than some. I often think that if Buddha is compassionate enough, he can guide me in person.

My English is not competent enough to discuss things too complicated online.

According personal experience or modern physics, the world should be viewed in a different way, in my opinion, probably like the Matrix(Maya). If you blame all inabilities on the absence of Buddha, it’s unfair. Too many ancestors (people say) achieved the goal of enlightenment without him. If you do find that something unusual or your need to do something in your life, you are NOT the only one.

Who is good? I doubt any.

You tried ESP? I guess you need proof. Too many mysterious things are said, only witness few. I play Tai Chi Quan more often after witnessing a real Master’s ability. I don’t think martial art can compare with enlightenment. But since I know a short old man (now in the US) practicing it has supernatural power, I am more willing to do it. Besides, Buddhists need meditation to escape from Maya. Lotus posture is challenging. Tai Chi Quan helps me to stretch the tendons beforehand.

“Rid myself of desire?” There is a method introduced in Buddha’s teaching called “white skeleton projection.” I heard it is a useful way to get rid of any desire but THINK AGAIN. Without desire, what will sustain you to live on the planet?

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[quote=“Richardm”][quote=“Ke di er”]

Cool, any other “famous” mormon’s?

[/quote]

The Domino’s Pizza guy.[/quote]

Michael Dell, CEO of Dell.

By the way, I WAS. Shoo… Please don’t tell any “bike riders” in Taiwan.