[quote=“Vay”]I bowl probably once or twice a year - it’s a last resort when my lady and I don’t feel like going home but can’t think of anything else to do. Still, now and again it seems like not a bad idea to do, plus there’s a new bowling alley open near my place in Linkou.
However, I have an issue with bowling: I suck at it. I always have, and no matter how many times I do it over the years, I never improve. It makes those occasional times when I feel like bowling frustrating, and on top of that I have to suffer the indignity of locals’ smugly scrutinizing my suckiness - as if it were indicative of the bowling ability of all foreigners or something.
You’ll probably say, ‘Of course you suck, dumbass! You don’t practice consistently!’
Well, yes, that’s true. And I’m not going to. Nevertheless, I’d like to know if anyone has any tips for me as to how not to suck so bad… without practicing.[/quote]
assuming u are not asking to learn any fancy bowling tricks, here’s a little bowling theory. this isn’t taken from any professional advice, but its what i remember from participating in a bowling league when i was young(and its the only way i know how to bowl, don’t ask me how to spin or curve the ball)
general aiming theory:
the dots at the faultline(the one ur not supposed to cross that has sensors[which are ususally off by default]) and the staggered arrows 2/5ths down the alley are useful for lining up a shot. the idea is that upon release, the dot at the baseline that ur wrist swings over is Point A. Assuming u throw the ball straight, the ball should then roll over the corresponding arrow Point B. If you extrapolate the A>B line in your mind, u should have a good idea where amongst the pins the ball will strike the pins.
aiming 1:(if ur right handed)
stand at the baseline, identify the largest center dot along the line. For your first throw, you want your wrist to swing directly over the area between the center dot and the dot immediately to the right.(your A>B line should begin here, running through the center most forward arrow, thus carrying the ball to hit pins 1&2 or pins 1&3)
step up to the baesline where ur hand can swing over the center dot areanow take 3 long steps back. this is where u should start each bowl. Hold the ball with both hands(right hand fingers are inserted and left hand is supporting the weight) right hand should be at 5:00 and the left hand at 7:00. Your first step forward should be ur left leg, at this point the ball begins its downswing. As you take your second step with your right leg, the ball should be on its backswing(ie, it should be behind you. the higher the backswing, the more power the ball has when u finish in the next step - don’t over power the ball, its supposed to roll, not fly or bounce) the last step you take should be with your left leg, at which point the ball should be swinging forward. you will know if your approach has been correct if your left leg ends up a few inches from the baseline(the right leg should slide behind the left leg and your left arm should be pointing straight out to the left side for stability)
the wrist: look at your right palm, draw an imaginary line across the bottom of your wrist where it meets the hand. as your right wrist passes over the baseline, the imaginary line should be parallel with the baseline upon ball release. this ensures theres no funny spin to interfere with straight line shooting(aiming A>B to get the ball to C[the pins])
finishing a split, or hitting pins on the far edges: to hit a pin on the far extremes of the lane(left or right) you want to stand on the opposite side of the lane(so that the ball takes the longest possible path) swing as you would normally, however aim so that your wrist passes over the very last dot on the baseline(point A) and so that the ball passes over the very center arrow. this should ensure that the ball strikes somewhere near the last standing pin.
other assorted tips: if funds allow, be sure to wear incredibly tacky plaid tapered pants, shirts made from 4 different solid colored panels of polyester, if you are not yet bald, you must shave your hair down near the widows brow to fit in with the other players. it is essential to have a substantial paunch, so if it doens’t look u are hiding your spare bowling ball under your shirt, u will need to bulk up prior to starting this entire ritual. additional accoutrements may include any sort of personalised items such as monogrammed shirts, ball, ball bag, and wrist support[hopefully with some sort of piston-like hydraulic device, for stability of course]…if you can’t afford such extras…lots of beer, cigarettes, and a never-ending supply of tater-tots and fries will do just fine.