Genital…
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i guess better than on the face. 
It is mostly Europeans. And it’s pretty much the ones that are poor and less educated. Some of my fiancées family from poor little villages thinks I’m from some rice patty or something. It’s really weird because I think they live in such horrid living conditions.
North Americans seem to have more interest and think it’s cool. But they’re probably thinking of Thailand or something.
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I was expecting Taiwan to be a lot more industrial in the sweatshop sense and poorer than it is. Image in head was corrugated old huts surrounding Taipei 101 as some kind of obnoxious show of wealth in a poor city, but obviously not so. A lot of pictures of Taipei in particular portray it as a lone giant, which is no longer so, plenty of tall buildings in Xinyi.
I also wasn’t expecting the attitude of Taiwan. Liked this the most. And the MRT.
As for Tokyo, i was expecting it to be a deafeningly loud buzzing metropolis, full of life and activity. But more often than not, it was pretty quiet. Even Kabikicho was quieter and tamer than expected.
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It must have sucked before I got here.
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It actually was like that not so long ago - not in Taipei, but out in the boondocks. Lots of marginally-legal buildings with scant attention to cleanliness, safety, environmental issues, or employee comfort. “Sweatshops” they were not, but they would have given a German Health and Safety inspector an apoplectic fit.
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I’d read Flashman and was expecting larger breasts. In fact, I have been generally disappointed with the passiveness of women here. I’m really into dominant women and had been led to believe that’s what I’d get in Taiwan.
EDIT: Not as passive as presley. When is the fucker going to reply?
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Cut him some slack.
He got a box of fresh worms from the folks back home he’s tucking into.
Guy
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Most of the good (read: not psycho) domineering Taiwanese women, like my ma, got the hell out of dodge as soon as they could. The island is too small for them, and the men too feeble. There’s no challenge.
The ones left over merely play at dominance; deep down, they are as weak as the rest of them…
I feel depressed now.
Come and spend the weekend at my place, sunshine, you’ll know different
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Well, there are exceptions, of course. 
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Presley is teasing.
I think it’s unacceptable, but mods may think otherwise.
Isn’t there a worm dish in Taiwan, made of worms found near the river?
Is that what they told you? Cool practical joke. 
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I’m pretty confident there is a dish made of worms found by the river.
More importantly, when is Presley going to comment?
Nadal has a time limit on his serve. He takes it to the limit every time like the big Spanish ponce that he is.
I think similar should apply with posting on the flob.
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Yeah, but nobody makes them like moeder…
I’ve been seeing the ticker saying he’s replying for the last hour.
I think he may have passed out mid-repartee…
Guy
You know why they don’t believe you? Because no one believes his/her country is backwards.
“But my country’s not backwards!”
“That’s what they all say!”
It was 2001. I had reached the pits of despair and was seriously contemplating suicide. My previous life as a rock star was over, due to some ridiculously stupid life decisions and a penchant for chemical relief. I took a job checking cars at a transportation firm, which barely paid enough to keep me in beer and cigarettes. I had to resort to living with my parents, which was enough to drive anyone insane. I had never owned a computer, nor been on the internet.
I saw an advert in a Sunday tabloid along the lines of “Come and teach English in Taiwan! It doesn’t matter if you’re a dumbfuck who knows nothing about teaching! All you need is a degree!”
Luckily for me, I had managed to bullshit my way through two degrees before the irresponsibility and debauchery took over.
I was terrified. I hadn’t traveled much, apart from in Africa. All I knew about Taiwan was the plastic crap I kept getting yearly in my Christmas stocking that said “Made In Taiwan”. I certainly couldn’t have pointed it out on a map.
So I get a job through a recruiter. It seemed like plain sailing, but I was horribly wrong. The Taiwan office was extremely stringent about paperwork. I spent nearly a month liaising with my prospective employers via telephone (those ones you see in old movies with cables and shit) and telex and fax machines.
Eventually, my deeply vexed agent managed to get me a two-week visa.
But this wasn’t the end of it. I had to prove that I had a shitload of money in my bank account, because tourists need a shitload of money, apparently. This was before the glorious era of begpacking.
Hence, my parents, who were pretty much also operating on the breadline, had to pump some cash into my account.
Now, I hate flying. Along with high places and being in a confined space with strangers, it’s one of my biggest phobias. I leave the departure area, and my mum is sobbing, because despite being rather difficult, she dearly loves me. There’s a South African bloke sitting behind me who I later find is also coming to Taiwan to pretend to teach English.
Him and I hit it off. His name was Neil. Nice bloke. We have a 24 hour stop in Malaysia and decide to go to the tallest building in the world at that time, the Petronas Twin Towers, for a drink. It’s 5 a.m. in the morning and we exit the Kuala Lumpur airport. The heat and humidity is violent and shocking. Neil points out our destination, far off in the distance, and I’m like “fuck, yeah, let’s go!” Five hours later, drenched in sweat and stinking like skunks in heat, we trudge up the steps of this landmark and get told in no uncertain terms “All the bars are closed. Now fuck off”.
We took a taxi back to the airport and bought a cheap bottle of vodka from the duty-free shop. Drank it in plastic cups with Sprite, while we waited for our flight, in the departure lounge. Terribly skint. Hardly a dollar or ringgit to rub between us.
I eventually arrive in Taipei.
Do you know that scene in Apocalypse Now! where the schoolchildren and teachers are fleeing as the American helicopters approach, about to bombard them with missiles? That’s how I imagined Taiwan to be. Wooden schools on stilts. Rice paddies. Children whose parents couldn’t afford shoes.
I stand around waiting for someone to pick me up. I’m terrified, confused and horribly disoriented. Eventually this disheveled bloke rocks up with my photo on a board. Utterly relieved, I’m like “Hey, that’s me!” He’s “Nah, it doesn’t look like you”. Eventually we get into his car and load my sad baggage. He says “If you teach in Taiwan, you have to say ‘aaaple’, not ‘apple’. People want an American accent.”
I thought he was the driver, so I just laughed. Turns out he was my future boss.
Guy
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Isn’t that a pretty accurate description of what Taiwan was like back in your day? 
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