Hello, everyone! Long story short: There is this guy I have a crush on and he suddenly decided to not see me anymore. (Ok, he “is kind” and told me his decision in a friendly and polite way.) I keep thinking of him, and I’m wondering if you can give me any tip as to get over this guy or my feelings for him. I tried to focus on my work, talk with my friend, get busy… But somehow I can’t concentrate on any thing.
Easy. Date someone else.
It’s a crush. You guys weren’t seriously involved, I take it. So really, this is something almost everyone in the world (including me) has been through at some point. You’ll be a bit sad for a bit (hopefully not too long), then you’ll meet someone new, date him, and forget about this old crush.
You want to see real heartbreak? Type “divorce” into the search bar.
If you werent too involved, youre probably in love with how you think he is and what could have been in your mind. But if that one person that got away…i won’t tell my current gf this, but I’ll probably always love this one girl somewhere in me. Still think of her all the time, not sure i’ll ever get over it but i’ve accepted that it just wasn’t meant to be in this lifetime.
Some people suffer from idealized and fairytale notions of crushes and exes that don’t match reality. That’s why some people suck at relationships; each new girlfriend and boyfriend they get can’t match that “perfect” ex that got away (even though said perfection was never a real concept).
I’ve read stories about people who get back together with that “perfect one that got away” and quickly break up again when they take off their rose-tinted glasses and see them for the regular, flawed person they actually always were. Probably the same for your ex too.
youre right. i try to remind myself this and I know this is probably true. But what can you do…the heart trumps reason and logic, can’t control how you feel.
Here’s a story. I had an amazing 2 year relationship with a girl. We broke up and I was depressed for 6 months because I compared everyone new to her. She was the perfect one and I let her get away, I was sure of it. Eventually I got a new girlfriend. But the first 2 or 3 months I was still thinking about, and longing for my ex. Then I gradually forgot about her and just loved this new girlfriend. Fast forward another two and a half years and I break up with her as well. Then I’m depressed for even longer… a year! Forget the first ex. Now I was REALLY sure this second one was my soul mate. So I moped a lot and felt sorry for myself. Then I met a new girl. Again, the first 3 months or so I just missed my ex and couldn’t help compare everything. But eventually again… I gradually forgot her and fell more and more in love with this new girl. This girl who eventually became my wife and the mother of my baby. And now I love her more than anyone I’ve ever loved and I wouldn’t trade her for either of my exes if you paid me a billion dollars. So the moral is, don’t close yourself off to doors that open to you in the future. You’ll probably find someone who is even better, just like I did. The waiting is the hardest part.
“The waiting is the hardest part.” So true. Thanks for sharing your story!