How to interpert intimate converstations with TWese/Chinese

I had an interesting conversation with a Chinese-born friend today. Like me he his going through a rough period in his life due to the economy
and trying to run a business. The first thing out of his mouth as we discussed me assisting him on several projects was-- “you’re negative.”
And then he went into how he is too and what he’s been learning to change things and so forth. It really came off like a lecture. But I gave
him the space to say what he needed to say and believing there were some possible gems to be gleamed along the way.

Nevertheless, I walked away from the conversation feeling more like someone had gotten on my case for not being positive enough or enough of something.
I’m wondering from those of you on the boards who’ve have more experience with relating intimately with the TWese and/or Chinese how to interpret their
way of reaching out to friends and expressing concern. Or if my impressions of the conversation were correct? If they were, how do I handle this in a
considerate matter for the future?


Hes really talking to himself and you are just being talked AT, not TO.

From what you’ve written Namahottie I don’t think he’s getting on your case, that’s just his communication style. I’d need to know more about the situation though to be more definite. In my dealings with Taiwanese I ran into this a lot and Tommy’s not far off the mark. It sounds like he’s basically playing a record in his head, a collection of conventional wisdom mixed with a dash of observations and superstitions that have been drummed into him, out loud. When my friends did stuff like this I would reflect what they had said with a minor tweak towards my pov (if I felt I wanted to comment. Occasionally I would just listen). Eventually with enough tweaks they would reconstruct what I planned to say as part of the conversation they’re having with themselves.

Thanks for your responses. Naijeru I agree…over the course of the conversation it did sound like he was just on his own tangent. However, I am curious if that’s also a way of establishing “hierarchy” in a relationship…

Oh well, I’ve 想 太多了 enough…