How to know if I'm dating with a Taiwanese girl?

Not in recent memory, and only from very old couples. All very good reasons though! (But still very abstract to me. I don’t feel the need to become a better person than I already am, for example.)

Some people Might say that compromises adds depth to one’s character.

You can certainly compromise and not be trapped in a relationship. Although you may be trapped in a compromise. If the relationship is solid, that can be remedied and new compromises reached.

I’ll be married 25 years next month. Never felt trapped. Definitely compromised, but it wasn’t all about me and that is what we both wanted, to go beyond ourselves and our singular needs. Now, not much need to compromise as the wife and I are nearly on the same page when it comes to how to navigate reality and keep reality real and as painless as possible.

If you don’t want that, fine by me. I think Watching people like you grow old should be a hoot. :owl:

I’ve yet to see a forever single or a childless couple I envy, but that again could be more me than them. But a lot of it is them. :laughing:

6 Likes

And I’ve never seen a couple with children I envy either! Maybe I just hate taking care of children more than you do.

4 Likes

I’m sensing a theme. Some people find happiness and contentment in making others happy, some don’t… Obviously I like to make myself happy, but there is certainly a different type of happiness that happens when making my wife and kids happy

4 Likes

There’s more to it than that. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a big part. But, I’ve grown way more as an individual because of my kid than he has because of my influence. :laughing:

Btw, one of the harder things about parenting is stepping back from “taking care” of them. Allowing them to go and be and do what they choose. Feeding and clothing and educating them was the easy stuff, but that’s the stuff a lot of people get hung up on, and that’s where a lot of people become codependent.

2 Likes

Can’t imagine the hard stuff then!

Yes, needs step away or becomes codependent and not independent like mama boy

Saying “No,” so much when they’re little and the heartbreak of watching them be sick or get hurt or suffer or lack confidence or compassion for themselves. That’s a start!

My marriage has benefited me the following way:

When I lost my job, my wife earned for both of us and supported me with her business as did I - when my biz was going good, she was able to quite her 9 to 5 job and build her own business. This works because we are a team, a family and always support each other.

When I feel depressed, she shares her sunshine with me, when I see only the negative, she reminds me of the positives, when I come home, she happily hugs and kisses me and asks how my day was, she sat down every single day 3 months before my birthday and secretly worked on the most amazing present I have ever received, she completes me and honestly, without her, I would miss a huge reason to go on in this life. She’s the best person I have ever met. In 10 years we have only argued a couple of times and I have to say that I was the arsehole in those situations, she never initialized it.

She never complains or tries to change me, she isn’t manipulative and accepts my decisions. Even the most imbecile person wouldn’t let someone like that go. She’s the only person I would die for without hesitation.

Finding someone like that again in a single lifetime is almost impossible.

17 Likes

Thanks for sharing.Your wife kind of sounds like me TBH, except maybe the part about the birthday gifts.

So what’s in it for her?

1 Like

She got a charming, intelligent, handsome and extremely modest husband :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

6 Likes

It sounds like you got the better deal. :stuck_out_tongue:

3 Likes

Thank you all for the answers. I went out several times with her within a month. I remember on the first outing, I dressed quite elegantly, while she was not as much. However, I recall that in subsequent outings, she started dressing very well. I remember this detail.

1 Like

his description sounds very unlikely to be someone who would say something like:

7 Likes

What makes you say that? Judging from Blackus’s description, his wife seems to fit the description of someone who usually gives more than they receive in a relationship. Sooner or later they usually realize that they…

It’s great to hear of people’s happy marriages.

Just to point out that unhappy marriages out there might not necessarily be due to shallowness, insincerity, inability to compromise or other such negative failings. Two people can enter with all the best intensions in the world - work really hard over many years - and still wind up with a difficult situation.

4 Likes

If you’ve been enjoying your time together and are interested in exploring a deeper connection, consider expressing your feelings or asking her directly about her thoughts and feelings. Communication is key in any relationship, and it can help clarify your intentions and understand hers.

It’s great that you’ve been spending time with her and have noticed her putting effort into her appearance during your outings. While clothing choices can vary for different reasons, the fact that she started dressing well could be a positive sign

If she’s making eye contact, leaning in, and engaged in the conversation , those are good signs. Check who’s taking the initiative – if she’s reaching out, planning hangouts, that’s a positive indicator. Listen for flirty remarks or playful teasing in her communication. If she’s sharing personal stuff, it shows she’s comfortable and looking for a deeper connection.

Watch for any casual touches – that could mean she wants to be close. See if she’s mirroring your gestures, and if she’s genuinely interested in your life, remembering details, that’s a strong sign. So, next time you’re with her, be observant, trust your gut, and good luck!

2 Likes

because it seems like someone that is absolutely willing to make compromises for the relationship.

Just to clarify, my reply was meant ironically.
Obviously I do my part in our marriage and also everything in my power to help her grow and succeed at everything she wants to accomplish. I give her all the security she needs to flourish as a person and she knows that I would never cheat or betray her in any way and that she can completely trust in me being there for her until the end of our lifes as I value loyalty and honesty above anything else. I am uncomplicated to have around at home (we both work from home, so we usually spend the whole day together in the same apartment, each of us doing their thing without annoying each other.)

There are benefits to having me as hubby, when I look around at other peoples homes and how run down they sometimes are or what kind of weird expectations many husbands have to their wifes, pushing them into roles they don’t flourish in.

4 Likes

You are of course absolutely right.
Life can be complicated in so many different ways and often outside of our control. I have friends whose marriage and relationships failed just because the parents in law were racists for example. It really sucks when outside forces try everything to ruin somebodys relationship.

2 Likes