How to make the world a better place for New Years


#1
  1. When they say “Gong hsi fa tsai”, respond with “Jai! Hare Bol, and all honor and glory to Srila Prabhupada.”

Then when they ask what that means, you can explain to them about bhakti yoga and the recitation of the Lord’s names:

HARE KRISNA HARE KRISNA KRISNA KRISNA HARE HARE
HARE RAMA HARE RAMA RAMA RAMA HARE HARE

  1. When people are tempted to overeat, show them the color paintings in “Bhagavad Gita As It Is, with purports by His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada” which show how gluttony leads to being reincarnated as a lesser animal, such as a pig.

How much better to feast on wholesome vegetarian food which has been offered into the service of Lord Krishna! (Did you know that Krishna devotees almost never have a problem with constipation?)

  1. A lot of couples choose this time of year to marry. What better occasion to remind them of their Transcendental obligations to engage in sexual relations only to the extent permitted by Lord Krishna. (Once a month for married couples, with no perverse practices, and the couple must meditate on Srila Prabhupada during intercourse and pray to have devotee children.) Otherwise they will be swept back into nescience.

  2. Reach out to young people–you might change a life!

Today I tried to get the neighborhood school to let me tell their children the story of my life (which BTW I am writing up as a book, “A New Kind of Skinhead: From White Consciousness to Krishna Consciousness”). Remember to try and get permission in advance of the day you want to address them. It’s also a good idea not to push religion on the children, because otherwise they won’t let you in the building–even if you promise not to repeat the sacred names of the Lord,

HARE KRISNA HARE KRISNA KRISNA KRISNA HARE HARE
HARE RAMA HARE RAMA RAMA RAMA HARE HARE

Which is a shame, because children really love chanting the mahamantra. In fact, when school was over, some of them followed behind me on the sidewalk and starting chanting it with me!

  1. Warn others of the dangers of drugs!

I wish someone had been there for me when I was that age, to warn me of the dangers of such illegitimate methods as LSD, booze, auto-erotic asphyxiation, etc… which are vastly inferior to the transcendental pleasures of chanting the Lord’s names:

HARE KRISNA HARE KRISNA KRISNA KRISNA HARE HARE
HARE RAMA HARE RAMA RAMA RAMA HARE HARE

In fact, chanting japa is a lot like LSD, in that your mind will never be the same again! But in a good way, of course. (Some people call it “brainwashing”, but couldn’t most of our brains use a good wash?)

  1. Help people with their investment decisions. And what could be a better investment than the activitities sponsored by gurus in the lineage of Lord Caitanya himself? A few thousand copies of “Back To Godhead” could completely change Taiwanese society, and not only that, after you die, the Lord would surely grab His devotee by the topknot and reel him straight up to Krisnaloka, which is the very highest heaven there is!

  2. Remember not to earn Lord Krishna’s wrath by attempting to imitate His transcendental behavior during the Rasalila. (See #3 above.)

  3. Reprogram the song on your mobile. You know what to do:

BEEP BEEP BOOP BOOP BEEP BEEP BOOP BOOP
BOOP BOOP BEEP BEEP BOOP BOOP BEEP BEEP

Come to think of it, what if the recycling trucks boomed out the Hare Krishna mahamantra? Which is appropriate, since reincarnation “recycles us” into new bodies.