I had to start this thread. I was hoping someone else would. It had to be done. There’s probably some real funny answers out there. I used to have a girlfriend in Taiwan, but I married her.
To realize that the girls in Taiwan are not your type at all.
Congrats to all who have found good ones and are happily taken. I am truly envious. I guess some guys just doesnt have what it takes to be happy with a Taiwanese girl.
ok rant’s over.
How not to have a g/f?
Go to the bar dressed as a mormon.
Tell women you are in love with the sea.
Stop bathing.
[quote=“patterson”]How not to have a g/f?
Tell women you are in love with the sea.
[/quote]
Brandy, you’re a fine girl
what a goooood wife you would be
But my life, my love and my laaaady
is the sea…
hmm… is somebody going to start a “how to not have a boyfriend” thread next?
still haven’t seen the “So… how do you do it? (read: Taiwanese boyfriends? really?)” thread yet…
:?
anyway, to add to the topic:
Make her pay for everything.
Hmmmm…show up on first dates wearing a skirt and halter…that oughtta do the trick 
Bring your Dutch wife along on dates?
[quote=“patterson”]How not to have a g/f?
Go to the bar dressed as a mormon.
[/quote]
Au contraire, my young friend. Mormon missionaries typically get a great deal of attention from the local ladies. Only trouble is, they can’t date. Of course, that doesn’t stop some of them from doing so. More than once I awoke in the middle of the night to spy an associate’s empty bunk, next to an open window. Midnight rendezvous.
The best ways to avoid having a girlfriend:
- Want a girlfriend, desperately.
- Believe that there are no available women with whom you are compatible. You’ll fulfill your own prophecy.
Errrr…I know some women who would like…errrr, never mind 
.
-
Use her Louis Vuitton bag to store your discarded betel nut.
-
When you start your scooter, make her jump on as you go past. Don’t slow down if she struggles with mounting. Refuse to stop or to go back if she falls off.
-
Out-xiao jie talk her. Use a high pitched voice.
“Hao ke ai a! Hao bang a! Ai-yoooooo!”
Chu
Then you try answering your emails.
[quote=“ImaniOU”]- Use her Louis Vuitton bag to store your discarded betel nut.
-
When you start your scooter, make her jump on as you go past. Don’t slow down if she struggles with mounting. Refuse to stop or to go back if she falls off.
-
Out-xiao jie talk her. Use a high pitched voice.
“Hao ke ai a! Hao bang a! Ai-yoooooo!”[/quote]Excellent ideas all. No. 2, the scooter-jumping, could double as a sport in the Taipei Olympics, don’t you think?
I agree with Tomas. There is nothing worse than reeking of desperation.
Beetlenut is a good one too. Stains on clothes, nut in the teeth, etc. Constant references to stalking beetlenut girls should also do the trick.
Talk about how curious you are about gay porn. Tell women your cock was bitten off by a dog. Pick your nose lots!
Just a few from the top of my head…
Be gay.
Insist that she pay you NT$5,000 every time you have sex with her.
Show her your beer gut.
Be an English teacher with no future.
Talk endlessly about how you’d love to shag her sister.
Richardm, can you clarify, are we talking about “How to not be attractive to women” or “How to get your girlfriend to do a runner?” These are separate comedic questions!!!
How to not have a girlfriend in Taiwan.
It’s easy.
Go get a Taiwanese boyfriend.
Ha, Ha …
You are so beautiful that I would crawl ten miles on my hands and knees through broken glass just to jerk off in your shadow.
You are so beautiful I’d drag my balls through a mile of broken glass, followed by a mile of hot coals just to sniff the tire tracks of the laundry truck that takes your panties to the cleaners.
You are so beautiful I’d drag my balls through a mile of barbed wire just to suck the cock that screwed you last.
Memorize those lines in Mandarin, or better yet Taiwanese, and just randomly pop them on hot babes you’d like to get with. Always does the trick for me!
[quote=“mod lang”]You are so beautiful that I would crawl ten miles on my hands and knees through broken glass just to jerk off in your shadow.
You are so beautiful I’d drag my balls through a mile of broken glass, followed by a mile of hot coals just to sniff the tire tracks of the laundry truck that takes your panties to the cleaners.
You are so beautiful I’d drag my balls through a mile of barbed wire just to suck the cock that screwed you last![/quote]
I think I’ve stumbled across some websites of gay men who do this for fun. :shocker:
I’m glad someon thought of this obvious one. Of course, that is probably not quiet the point of the thread.
Are you sure they were going out to meet women? I’ve known a number of ex-mormons who are gay. And/or, I’ve met a few men (here and in the US) who say they’ve had the (dubious) pleasure of being “witnessed to” by a mormon elder. In fact, I’ve met a few gay Taiwanese who say they joined the mormon church here just to have access to young, clean cut, white… ah… meat. 