I Was Accosted By Cops

As I have done for twenty years, I leave work and light a cigarette as I make my way back home.
The wife has told me to buy bread. I stop outside the bakery and wait to finish my cancer before I enter. Suddenly three cops on scooters surround me.
The main cop: Do you speak Chinese?
I’m fucking freaked out. What the fuck have I done?
Me: A Little, but I’m not conversant in it.
Cop One calls a buddy over. “Speak to this waiguoren.”
They all giggle.
Cop Three leaps off of his girlbike.
Cop Three: Gimme an ID.
Me: Why? What have I done?
Cop Three: You’re smoking on the sidewalk!
Me: Apologies! I Didn’t know that was illegal. Are you sure?
Cop Three: Yes! In Taiwan it’s illegal to smoke on the sidewalk!
Me: Wait a minute. (I point to three dudes across the street, gleefully smoking.) Are they allowed to smoke? Are you going to pester them for their IDs?
I walk off and put my offensive cigarette out on the sidewalk, and they surround me. like I’m going to charge away at any second.
Cop Three: Show me your ID!
Me: Why are you asking me and not asking them? Is it because I am weiguoren?
Cops One and Two: Let’s go.

Cop Three is committed now. There’s no way that fucker is giving up.

So I give him my ID. He checks it on his stupid fucking smart device.

Cop Three: Oh, you’re Jimi Lee?

Me: I suppose, pretty much.

Cop Three: Well, you’re free to go.

Cop One and Two: Jesus, dude, let’s get the fuck out of here!

Eventually they did get the fuck out, but I was a little traumatized.

I get home.

Tell the wife: Jesus, this was shit. Had the whole fucking day ruined.

Now my wife is under five feet tall, but she doesn’t eat shit. From anybody.

Wife: We’re going to the police station, NOW!

Her: Why did you give my husband shit for smoking on the sidewalk, when you drive past thousands of Taiwanese doing the same?

Damn, did she give them shit. They were very apologetic.

Is smoking outside really against the rules?


Usually the curbs are marked, in English.

Most sidewalks along school property will have notices painted near the curb


I’m well aware of that. You don’t smoke near bus stops, schools, hospitals, etc. But even the cops at the station insisted that any smoking outside is illegal.
I haven’t heard of such a rule.
@tando ?

Just laugh it off, somehow they got something rammed in their asses.


I love this part.
It shows who’s da boss!


TAIPEI (Taiwan News) – Cigarette smoking will be forbidden starting Sept. 1 on the pedestrian arcades around convenience stores and coffee shops in New Taipei City, the city government announced Thursday

A number of locations have already been declared smoke-free in the most populous city in Taiwan, including parks. Most areas and sidewalks surrounding schools of almost all levels (excluding universities and colleges), bus shelters, and areas in front of medical clinics are also smoke free in New Taipei.



Why. You let them get away with this once and suddenly it is common. Taiwan in nit China. And we should not let ourselves be treated like second class citizens. We pay taxes.


I’m well aware of the smoke-free zones, and I adhere to them. This “You can’t smoke anywhere outside” bullshit is without legal substance.


Taiwan :policeman: cops enforcing rules ,now im laughing

Yes it sucks but it probably wont happen again

Jimi also im glad your wife dont eat shit for that matter she probably dont take it either.


Nobody gives a shit about no smoking rules.

I see it every day, people smoke being surrounded by those ‘10k fine - no smoking signs’ and police couldn’t care less.


That’s the point being made by this thread. Why was an outsider questioned for smoking when the rules are clearly not enforced.


No, that’s great. Second-hand smoke is dangerous. You want to smoke, lock yourself in a room with all the doors and windows shut please.


They had nothing better to do, out of donuts and tea?

I once got a ticket parking for a few hours at a place where people park everyday throughout the year. :man_shrugging:
Never had or got a ticket again at that place.

  • as an ex-smoker, I know you wouldn’t light up in an obviously designated non-smoking area
  • the attitudes of the cops in question appear to be biased and WAY out of line. As you mention, why not bother the other 3+ doing the same thing in the same place. It comes across like a joke or dare or some kind of initiation ritual for newbie cops. note: I generally give TW cops the benefit of the doubt, so I’m fighting against my usual depiction in stating that they were “off the books”
  • the need to provide ID?!?! Evidently biased and absolute shite! These jackasses (at least the instigator) are beyond the scope of their jurisdiction
  • hats off to the trouble and strife (wife) for calling them on their bullshit. If it was standard protocol, why would they apologize as they did
  • because of said wife-intervention, are you now “on their radar” for other slights/infractions.

What an effing day. A few scotches might help :blush:


@jimipresley Man, that is one crappy day. I’m sorry you had to deal with that at all. It seems the anti-foreigner nonsense has even made its way to the Police?? I hope not. Good on your wife for kicking ass!


Wow, huge respect to your wife.

And yea thats pretty rough, why didn’t they go over to the other smokers when you asked them to?


RECORD this stuff as it happens man!



I believe the law is you can’t smoke outside the convenience store sidewalk areas. The way to get around this is obviously to take one step off into the street where it’s no longer the sidewalk @jimipresley. This was my logic when I lit one up once after a new drinks back in Taiwan.


Taiwan News tomorrow is going to be “Foreign Man Lashes Out at Cops when asked to Stop Smoking on Taiwan Sidewalk.”

“Refused to comply with no smoking rules.”

“Claimed that not smoking makes him cough.”

“Foreign man seen on sidewalk, smoking… refused to cooperate.”

Your ass is fried, man.



You forgot the best part:

Breaking News Commune’s Huang felt that the strong Taiwanese police officers had been calm and composed when speaking to the belligerent man. He alleged that instead of respecting their authoritah, the foreign smoker tried to divert attention to three well-behaved elder Taiwanese smokers across the street in a shameful attack on local culture.

He emphasized that all the foreigners he knew in Taiwan were very good people and well-mannered. However, he found this man’s behavior to be “really undesirable.”