And what does he do if they decide to come along?
I’ve never witnessed all of them performed around the same time (that does require extraordinary skill). But, having frequented lots of coffee shops and taught at a mediocre university for a number of years, I can attest to the fact that a segment of the population is quite adept at doing 3 or 4 of these within a short period of time and even sustaining them for a while without and sense of shame or awareness of the impact on those around them.
4 Likes
Hey @zoco, congratulations for lasting a whole month. I wouldn’t have made it through a weekend of that s**t. You deserve a medal. Your girlfriend owes you big time. Pack up, say polite goodbyes and head to the airport and if you have to make return visits get a hotel room and claim business work or any excuse. Put up with them at the wedding and deal with them only for short time events like dinners afterwards. Your experience seems somewhat unusual bit doubtfully not unique. Good luck!
4 Likes
I believe, if you are going to marry, you marry her family, as well. Move carefully unless your girlfriend will put them in line. In my experience, she won’t or can’t. Just my two dollars - NT dollars.
3 Likes
Par for the course. just vent here. this really is cultural. and, no, they arent right to do it. hut they think its it’s right.
the important part is if your partner sees it you guys can just shrug it off and laugh after. most people have gone through/continue to go throught his same shit.
it is wrong. make no mistake what if important, quite frankly it is the PERFECT test for your partner. how dies she react. as someone who has been through the hell that is traditional marriage and escaped here, I feel your pain. if your girlfriend/wife has a cell in her brain and love in her heart, she can understand your point of view and move past. even have the maturity to stand up to mom (easily more difficult than dad!!!). at the same time, concessions can be made. if people are deathly afraid of spirits, respect. like all religion, it is absolutley nonsense and.insanity. but people actually truly believe it. so crossing them on it is akin to them going into your house and shitting on the floor. just be aware, as retarded as it may seem, it.is veryvreal for them.
The worst possible situation is when.youbtely on her to translate to them. this is a disaster waiting to happen. take some power back bu learning mandarin 
will be the best decision you ever made. I prayto all the non existing gods someone could have convinced me when I moved to Taiwan to learn the language. relying on a Taiwanese wife to be the barrier between western and Taiwanese ethics/beliefsis literally just a slow motion divorce. maybe worse.
4 Likes
Not accepting would be awkward as fuck.
My wife got shit once because she said she is going to her mom’s house instead of just saying I’m going home.
I agree with the advice to only meet for dinners.
3 Likes
Difficulties with in laws are not uncommon, I wouldn’t put it down as a Taiwanese thing or even cultural tbh. My gf live with my parents for 2 years (Dad is Taiwanese and mom is korean) and they didn’t do any of these weird behaviors.
Objectively, she even admits my parents gave her a really easy time and actually feel bad if they bother her or ask her to do something. They treat her better than me sometimes 
I’m the one who had to work a bit to have a good relationship with her parents who are Italian. We live sort of with them now in Italy. Our house is attached but not internally connected in the country side.
I just had to find out what makes them like people. It’s little things like bring them gifts back when we travel and even building and keeping the fire going (we use fire to heat the house in the winter in the countryside). They know I’m a city boy and are actually impressed that I’m a good fire builder and keeper
I sort of just found random things I’m good at doing in the country and we now have a really good relationship.
But this shit is really bizarre. I’ve never heard of it before and I’m from Taiwan.
3 Likes
best route to happiness, live far enough away from in laws that it requires time off work to travel there.
so sad to say, but often it creates peace. for the lucky bastards with good quality in laws, nature has blessed you 
I live precisely 235km away from my wife’s mother. and we agree this is about the right distance. I was pushing for about 400km in the beginning but we found a good place and frankly 100km is probably already far enough for most Taiwanese to feel it troublesome. further just adds more minutes taken away from our lives the times we want to go visit.
but certainly make it far enough it is inconvenient for a visit. if the OP lives abroad, count your blessings. suck it up for the few week vacation then leave them in the dust. their daughter, in their eyes, is basically sold and dealt with so long as they have a son. count your blessings
2 Likes
I’m not Taiwanese but know about this. My landlord warned me about ghost month early on.
For a month? Asking me to stay a month in your house is awkward. Lol
6 Likes
it’s real . I have lived it as well. it’s more a night time thing in my experience. but the religious folks here are next level. underestimate nothing! Especially when being the completely foreign penis infiltrating the mothers daughter. you need to earn the right to fuck her and have society know you are fucking her. be warned. decent language skills and expert level patience is priceless.
6 Likes
Just hope you will never move to Taiwan as her husband. You always marry the family here well not always but more often than not.
1 Like
Definitely have to look at the family. My wife’s sisters are the worst. Parents are ok in small doses.
Nowadays, it feels like me persuading the the wife to give her family a visit. She is well and truly over the drama and emotional blackmail.
9 Likes
My wife has an unmarried older sister and a divorced older sister who lives at the family home。 They can be rather problematic.
3 Likes
My wife’s family is fine, (though we do split our visits between staying with them because they offer and staying in a hotel for peace and quiet), but even so, there’s some uncles and aunts that would be just like what OP describes if it were their daughter.
1 Like
Maybe you are just lucky because your parents are relaxed or more cosmopolitan, and did not drill these superstitions into your head.
My Taiwanese wife is highly educated, very modern, and we have lived outside of Taiwan for more than a decade. But she will get mad if I whistle at night or point at the moon!
When I question this she says “Hey, I’m still Taiwanese!” lol
8 Likes
Is it all the in-laws or just the mother?
My mother-in-law is bat-shit crazy too but puts on a nice facade. The rest are ok and the whole family seems to be aware that my mother in-law is not to be trusted. She’s basically a manipulative thief.
I just kept my distance. Now I’m on the other side of the world but honestly hadn’t heard from her for 6 months before we left.
I know someone’s (Taiwanese) mother in law who tore up the rent money she was paid from her son-in-law cos she was in a bad mood.
My advice is to play the Taiwan game. Smile, be polite, see her as little as possible
@Jack1988 might have some good advice about dealing with these nut bags too
4 Likes
hopefully they are not praying your sister returns to their “side”, thus justifying their own situations
1 Like
I’m surprised at this early stage his in-laws aren’t pretending to be nice. I have heard another story like this, but in that case the guy was short so the in-laws told him they could not accept short grand children.
If I had to explain the stories of my wife’s family and the trouble they given me, it would be so long this whole forum would crash. Long story short, I live in the same town as them
But we don’t talk.
5 Likes
I’m guessing they already decided they didn’t like you before you even came to Taiwan. Don’t take it personally. The important thing is that your girlfriend is on your side and not theirs.
Just for kicks and giggles, maybe at the last moment before you leave, you can ask your girlfriend to tell her parents all the things that you found rude of them (not responding when you say Good Morning, etc.) and see how they like that.
1 Like