What are your thoughts on large income disparities with those that you date? In my last relationship my gf made around 300k TWD a year which was normal for a junior designer in Taiwan, but I made 80x more than her (she did not know since I live and rent like a local). Things didn’t work out for other reasons, but I suspect if she found out she would lose all ambition to work and live off my savings (she likes expensive stuff, I can’t understand how one can spend a whole month wage on something like a phone or handbag, that would be like me dropping 80k USD on a phone). Also she never keeps a job for longer than a few months.
It’s one of the reasons that makes me think maybe I should go back to Canada or the US to look for a long term relationship with someone that is in a more comparable financial situation.
Has anyone been in a similar situation in Taiwan and how did it work out? I’m sure there are girls out there that don’t care much for money, but from my experiences they’re hard to find. I’m also materialistic (looks matter a lot) so maybe I’m attracted to certain types.
But to answer your question. It’s never worked for me. When they find out the start planning their retirement. I keep it a secret now. 2 years in and she has no idea. Helps I have cheap taste.
I have a studio and that’s good enough for me. Most of my friends in SF who are in similar positions also only have a studio and most don’t have a car. 24m a year is not that much in tech - if you talk to a mid-level software engineer in SF who joined 2 years ago at a pre-ipo startup (snapshot, pinterest, etc), they make more than $1 mil US per year now given stock appreciation. Some of my friends who started at Amazon as junior engineers 10 years ago have >5 million now due to stock appreciation. So I don’t see this as being a lot of money compared to my peers and I’ll probably live the same lifestyle until I move in with a family.
Income disparity is perfectly fine. People are in different places financially at different times.
However, what will get you is if you very different financial goals and management. You can make it work with someone who wants the same financial goals as you and understand personal finances. You can’t with someone who doesn’t get what you get IME.
My good friend is a CPA, dated a model and we met up in Italy. She’s a solid 10. But she lives in debt can’t control her spending. Spending is fine; but you need the income to match. She didn’t, and borrow money from him.
I told him it wouldn’t work out for this reason. And he didn’t at the end.
If you hope for a lasting relationship that might lead to marriage, financial compatibility is critical. It’s unlikely you’ll meet a woman who is making anywhere close to $24 million/year here, especially if you’re “living like a local” and not running in the social circles of well-to-do locals and expats. Like usually attracts like, like it or not.
There are women here who don’t care about money but in all honesty, your comment gives the impression that you’ll probably never be 100% secure about this. Incomes in Taiwan are lower. It’s just reality.
So moving back to a place where incomes are higher is probably going to be more comfortable for you, although if you chase pretty women in the US, you might continue to find yourself feeling uncomfortable about their intentions.
In my case she usually quit because of work expectations and hours, being relatively junior and not doing the work correctly or having a mentor, and once it was a worker’s comp dispute
Well, you are doing something wrong if you rent like a local.
A local would rent what is basically a dump, I would with that income get a nice studio with decent view, perhaps a balcony, good appliances etc.
A local person would not afford that most of the time.
Furthermore, your peers are not in the US, they are here if you plan on staying here.
Lastly, I don’t see your problem. Just don’t pay for your girlfriends stuff you think are useless. I pay for my wife stuff I think makes sense, yoga, nice dinner etc. But, if she asks money for something that doesn’t make sense just say no.
Another thought: there are more than a few women here from wealthy families. Many have very normal jobs because they don’t need to work to live. So when you see a woman spending a month of salary on a handbag, it will in many cases reflect irresponsible spending but in some it will just reflect that she can actually easily afford it.
A woman who you think makes 80x less than you might have an inheritance worth a multiple of what you make coming her way in the near future.
If you don’t discuss finances once things start getting serious, you’ll never know.
I don’t care if someone is financially poor, only if they’re mentally poor. You can build financial wealth if you have the right mentality. You can’t leave mental poverty that will be generational.
My family grew up very poor. Dad never went to college and went to a trade school as an engineer. He worked for still one of the biggest companies in Taiwan but left and started an LED company and for a while the only thing LEDs did was for TV remotes.
There was a big boom for LEDs in the 2000s. He became tremendously wealthy in a very short time. I’ve watch the habits around me of people from the bottom to the top. I’ve seen poor people become wealthy, the wealthy become poor. It’s all about their mentality and habits.
You need to learn chinese, be fluent in local culture and be very patient.
In these terms it took me 3 years of being alone before i found my final decision. Before those 3 years were all nightmares. I suggest being true and upfront about morals and expectations from the get go, and never show your hand on income. They are around. And i dont find.it much different in canada or the us to be honest as far as individuals. The difference is here they are slaves to family. If you find a good one with a dead or distant family, marry her/him. But still wait a few years obviously.
People that quit and try somewhere easier, like another country, are likely not going to go far unless dumb luck…sorry. no ine is entitled to true love, its one of the last true privelages (not millenial privelages).
Be true and upfront about morals and expectations, and then 5 years later reveal to the woman that you want to marry that even though you’ve been living in a moldy $15,000/month studio you’re making $2 million/month?
