For god’s sake! The woman refused to tell anyone which hospital she was at! A fucking FORMALITY? :loco:[/quote]
Yeah, but unfortunately it doesn’t stop the locals from interpreting it that way, or from thinking that they’re exempt from social obligation…
Well, I just asked the wife and she just said: “Yeah, it happens a lot here. People are rude and ignorant.”
Asked if she would visit a friend in hospital after being asked not to, she just looked at me as if I was daft.
Don’t we all?
Don’t we all?[/quote]
Eh? That’s NOT your look of undisguised admiration and awe? 
Is it not the case that sometimes the desires of the one are overtaken by the needs of the many?
Is it a cultural issue or is it a question of intimacy? A surgery on the butt is likely a procedure which causes changrin. However, do the mass care what is the problem, or are they doing what they think they should? Truly a case of ass vs social decency. The wife rages with apoplexy, the husband wishes to act lke Galahad, yet he frets at the size of the swarm. This is a case of: culture 1 - 0 your best efforts.
Let it happen. You cannot defend the culture against the short term needs of your wife. Surrender in this case.
Or just answer the knock to the hospital room door wearing nothing but a bright and welcoming smile. Being in a rampant state would add to the effect.
[quote=“Funk500”][quote=“tommy525”]
HOwever, I will say that if your Taiwanese kittykat is feeling a bit unwell with abit of a tummy upset a few syringes worth of Brands Chicken essence will help settle his tummy. Worked on my cats and they didnt refuse it either.
[/quote]
You inject cats with essence of Chicken?[/quote]
No no, that will kill them I think. Syringes without the needle is a good way to feed cats liquid meds or in this case chicken essence. They just lap it up. I cant stand the taste.
OP,
I think my husband is really good at handling situations like this. When I was in hospital, my wishes were followed - only a couple of close friends allowed in, no flowers, no food gifts. My husband uses the strategy of calling first, telling them the situation, explaining clearly what we want/don’t want, and giving alternatives. For example, my sisterinlaw was going to bring the kids to visit me after my c-section in hospital. Instead, we asked her to take my son out to the park to play for the afternoon. She was happy to have an idea of how to help and we were delighted to have that help, too.
Friends really do just want to help and show their care, but sometimes they need guidance to know exactly how. Telling insistent people not to visit without an alternative might not be the best way to go. You need to give them something practical to do. Maybe suggest something like, my wife really misses her favorite magazine, could pick it up and send it over to the hospital? You might end up with a bunch of unneeded mags, but at least you can donate them to the hospital reading pile.
I really don’t flowers as a gift, either. I am allergic to pollen so I can’t keep them in my room, and it can be hard to find places to put them. I really appreciate it when friends understand this and keep their money for using on other things they need. When people are feeling unwell, one of the best gifts you can give them is listening to their wishes.
Great post, Asiababy!
[quote=“ice raven”]Great post, Asiababy![/quote]Yes. Very good suggestions by Asiababy. I wish we had a “nominate as best answer” button, because that post really did address the OP’s question very well.
Yes, Asiababy, alternative choices/actions is a good suggestion. I think the little woman and I need to spend more time to develop an all around gameplan. Obviously, our original methodology failed (well, we were not exactly thinking much about this at the time when preparing for hospital visit and just underestimated the situation). We must think of activities to keep them busy which will make them think they are satisfying their social requirements…while limiting their intrusions. Thanks.