Is dating hard for East Asian guys in the West?

This question is aimed mostly towards any East Asian male members here. I keep hearing about how Asian guys often have it rough in dating and that Asian women usually date white guys and that some even refuse to date Asian guys. How true is this?
(BTW, I’m a girl)

All true.

Most pronounced in the US.

There’s a reason I have Ukraine and Poland stamped on my passport.




Per Roosh’s guide, if she asks you why you’re visiting Poland, say “vodka.” Since I don’t drink, I said, “pierogi” to be more authentic, and she laughed.

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Most people suck at dating, and blame the hardship on any possible external circumstance (white women are this, black guys are that, nobody likes Asian men, yadda yadda…). Yes, there’s things like money, looks and youth that help, but for the vast majority of people you just need to put a decent effort in your dating life, and you’ll get satisfaction.


It’s harder imo. But dating is hard for men.

My experience is latinas and black women are pretty open to Asian men though.


It’s as true as you want it to be.

In the SF Bay Area and Los Angeles, I always saw a lot of Asian couples, especially around university campuses. Far more than white male/Asian female couples.


US West Coast and major cities are fine for Asian guys. Most Asian girls I knew growing up in California usually dated Asian guys overwhelmingly like 98%+. In fact it was usually the other way around where you’d have a “token” white guy in the group of Asians. Nowadays you’ll see Asian guys dating white girls its more common. I can imagine if one grew up in the Mid west or the South in the 80s-90s it could be harder for Asian guys to date, or maybe easier? Ive heard people say this too from experience. But nowadays even these places have decent Asian populations around Universities at least or Atlanta. I know 3 Asian friends of mine who dated white girls one married, I would say this was rare growing up in the 90s but its gotten more common now in California


:roll_eyes: :face_vomiting:


Many Asian men don’t live there.

And tbh, I have more success dating non Asian women not from these more diverse cities. I feel like race is a much bigger deal to people there.

Certain types of Asian women only dates white guys, and if you happen to only be into those kind of girls, then yes, you are kind of screwed.

Although, not all Asian guys are the same. Some dudes naturally have the more chiseled facial structure, and be taller than most of their other Asian compatriots. If they also work out, and are not socially awkward, things usually go a bit smoother for them. Although, my observation is that it’s just smoother in comparison with other Asians.

Of course, if you become rich or famous things would change also.


This thread is gonna go well.


“Certain types” huh? A lot of Asian women in the West date Asian men.

So if you take care of yourself and aren’t uncomfortable to be around, you’re more attractive to women?!? You don’t say!

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Well, it’s not entirely surprising that if you’re an Asian woman in a less diverse city where there are fewer Asian men, your odds of dating non-Asian men are higher. Just as if you’re an Asian man in a city with fewer Asian women, you’re probably likely to date non-Asian women.

For guys who are from East Asia (as opposed to ABCs and ABTs), I’d venture a guess that any dating difficulties in the West are due more to cultural differences than race.

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How does saying certain types of Asian women only date white guys negate what you are saying? Most Asian women in the US don’t mind dating Asian men, but there are certain types who would only date non Asian men.

You forgot to read the next sentence.

my observation is that it’s just smoother in comparison with other Asians.

Also, just working out and not be socially awkward aren’t enough. The natural gifts of looking less average Asian and being tall are huge prerequisites.

There are a couple of common memes out there saying that it doesn’t really matter how much you workout or how you dress, your face pretty much decides how others would perceive you.

Because it’s a red herring. Do you have any evidence that the percentage of Asian women who exclusively date white men is so substantial as to make it difficult or impossible for Asian men?

Definition of prerequisite:

a thing that is required as a prior condition for something else to happen or exist.

Are you really suggesting that “average Asian” men who aren’t tall are simply incapable of dating in the West?

“Common memes”? Really???

There are plenty of guys who don’t look like the men in the Ocean’s 11 cast who do well with the ladies. There is plenty of empirical evidence that being in good physical shape, grooming, dressing well, etc. makes you more attractive to the opposite sex than you would be otherwise. Unless you’re a leper, some percentage of women will be attracted to you and/or give you a chance. And in fact, I’ve personally found that Asian women tend to be among the most willing to look at all of a man’s qualities, not just his appearance.

The real problem for many men is that they want to date high quality women without putting in the effort to become high quality men.

I don’t need to because that isn’t my claim. I’m saying there are people like that, and therefore just stay away from people like that.

If they want to go after girls who would only prefer non-Asians, then yes.

There’s like 4 guys out of the 11 in the remake of Ocean’s 11 that are actually good looking.

Well if you’re an Asian man who pursues women who strongly prefer another race, that’s on you. Just as if you’re a white man who pursues women who strongly prefer non-whites, you’re bound to be frustrated too.

There are plenty of people who are open-minded/don’t have inflexibly strong preferences on all sorts of factors, including race, height, weight, educational background, etc.

And I’m sure the other 7 are still getting laid even though you don’t think they’re very good looking.

Exactly what I’ve been saying.

Well, they are all rich and famous… so I bet that’s the case. Also, the old dudes were probably heart-throbs when they were young.

The whole rich and famous thing is overplayed. Sure, having money and fame can help you with a certain subset of women, but there are plenty of average-looking dudes who aren’t without female company, and many of those who have something going for them (interesting hobbies or skills, a good sense of humor, etc.) punch well above their weight.

Having spent much of my adult life in a place where lots of people become very wealthy in relatively short periods of time, I can say this: money rarely makes you a different person. If you lack confidence with women before you’re a gazillionaire, you’re most likely not going to become Errol Flynn just because your bank account has a lot more 0s.

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