Hello Im a 21 year old female that lives in the USA i started talking to a 35 year old male from Australia i was wondering is it bad for me a 21 year old and a 35 year old to date? Im afraid my fmaily is going to tell and scream about it i really want you guys opinion
Depends on what your disability is.
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Not necessarily a “bad thing” (you’re both adults), but relationships with a large age gap often tend to have a power imbalance which can lead to all sorts of issues.
And you’re probably at different stages of life - so while you as the younger person might go through lots of personal development within the next few years, this will probably be less true for an older partner.
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Quite a long distance relationship.
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Had a 20yr age gap before.
Fun times.
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Depends whether it’s based on a foundation of love, or an abuse of power dynamics.
Yes, it can work, but it has to be for the right reasons. Only you can say whether you think it is.
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Primo Amore? IS it First Love for you? Its going to be quite a ride . A better balance is likely for a 31 year old to be with a 45 year old. But hey there are no rules. Make memories. Just remember memories may be all you will have and if so, just be ok with that.
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Sorry, I am against it. Please break up, immediately.
Btw…
How is this related to the Taiwan topic?
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Taiwan is the only place people from the US and Oz can meet these days. Neutral zone of luv.
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Yes and unaffected by US tariffs ?
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The basic rule of thumb for the minimum gap is (OLDER AGE / 2) + 7 (rounded up).
So you need to wait 9 years before dating him.
He will be 44 and you will be 30. And then, it will be OK.
EDIT: Oh crap, I just realized that Tommy had already told you… Damn, I did all the math for nothing…
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Stupid and arbitrary “rule.” If they’re both of age and both consenting, then there’s nothing fundamentally wrong with it. And I say that as someone whose wife is 5 years older.
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I dont think at the age of 21, anyone know what they really want and at the age of 35, he know exactly what he is doing
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I would argue it depends on the person. You’re certainly right that many 21 year olds don’t. But some 21 year olds are more mature and assured of themselves than some 35 year olds. Like I said, the relationship has to be for the right reasons (example… it can’t just be because the dude wants a much younger trophy gf) for it to survive. And only she knows all the details of how they met and what they mean to each other. If even one out of five relationships of this sort are for the right reasons, then I can’t discount that based on the others that are for the wrong ones.
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Yeah, my post was supposed to be more on the humorous side… I guess it did not come across that way…
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Sorry, I also responded in a knee jerk way.
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The issue is that she would never know what the guy needs her for. You know, i know, everyone all here know how 35 year olds wants a trophy gf and i am sure its something that didnt even cross her mind. She probably see his affection as “true love”
Yes , there are people who becomes mature early but i still dont believe any 21 year old is mature enough to be okay dating a 35 year old.
We’ll have to agree to disagree. I know a (at the time) 39 year old woman who married a 26 year old guy. I don’t think either of them had a fetish or were looking for a trophy bf/ cougar gf. They’ve been married 5 years now, have 2 kids, and are going quite strong at least to me.
Yes, there’s many dishonest May-December romances, but like I said if even a minority of them are for the right reasons then I can’t discount them all.
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If the 21 year old is female and the 35 year old male it’s creepy. OTOH if it’s a 35 year old female dating a 21 year old male it’s female empowerment.
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26 year old guy is fine. When i was 27, my first gf was 36 too
i am saying 21 is too young to know.
Its only after 25, u start getting some sense