Is my friend still alive?


#1

Hi,
my father has a close Taiwanese friend which he hasn’t been able to contact in half a year.
All was well the last time they spoke but she can no longer be reached via phone or e-mail, and for the first time, he did’t hear from her on his birthday.
Fearing the worst, he wants to know whether or not she is still alive.
The only info he has is name, date of birth and name/address of her former company, which was disbanded some years ago when she retired.
Can anyone please advise on where we could reach out to get more information?


#2

No activity on Facebook or other kinds of social media? If you know their job, you could call their employer. Although if they’re still alive, they could view that as an intrusion of their privacy.

EDIT: oh, they’re retired. Never mind.

Facebook?


#3

It’s impossible to legally obtain information on close personal friends when all you know about your close personal friend is their name, date of birth, and former company details.

I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt that this is a personal friend, but I’m sure you can see the issue here.


#4

Good point, I just believed what he wrote but hey… maybe she owes them money or he’s a psycho, who knows.


#5

Thinking about it, I’ve got some friends who I consider to be close and personal and I don’t even know their date of births let alone the address of their company.

Perhaps I’m being a bit judgmental here.


#6

And believe me, we’re all more than happy to keep it that way, thanks just the same.


#7

@DrewCutz: No, there is no recent activity on social media. Although, there wasn’t a whole lot earlier either.
Some might find the need to speculate as to whether what I’m saying is true or not. By all means, feel free to do so.

I have no idea on how the system in Taiwan works, which is why I have asked for help on this forum.
Does anyone know is there for instance is an official record of deceased persons which we could contact?


#8

For what it’s worth, I believe you.


#9

Any living children you could contact?


#10

She is not dead and if she is the news would arrive to your father faster. If you find out she is dead I am pretty sure the family, that didn’t contact your father to let him know she passed, will not need to receive your condolences.

I think this behavior is not adequate. Seems like someone stalking another.

I only support seeing the public record (if that exists) of deceased persons. Nothing further than that. I know plenty of cases when people just don’t want to be contacted.

What if you can’t find her name in the official obituary? Will you search every countries obituary?


#11

Do you know the OP?


#12

It will be on here I think, but I can’t read Chinese:

https://www.mohw.gov.tw/mp-1.html

Or perhaps here:


#13

if you have at least some social media connection, maybe try to contact a friend of hers and ask if everything’s alright with her. i guess if your father really has been close to her and can share some stories, someone will empathize with him and respond.


#14

You could check legal databases here to see if they have any legal judgments or anything

https://www.judicial.gov.tw/lab3.asp


#15

@tempogain: Thank you, I will have a look.
@owleyes: I am having a hard time understanding what you feel that you gain by discrediting us with these assumptions. This person was never married and has not had a living relative for many years. I am not sure who should have given us information if she had passed away.
I have to suggest that you stop for a minute before branding people you don’t know. If you were trying to find closure in a situation like this and ended up being characterized as a stalker, I am pretty sure you wouldn’t feel great either.


#16

@BiggusDickus: Thanks a lot, I will try reaching out to your two suggestions.
@rantanplan: Great idea, will do.


#17

It’s natural to have suspicions about that and exercise caution. You’re anonymous and we don’t have any idea if you’re characterizing the situation accurately or not. You’ll have to take some chaff with the wheat.

On the other hand the OP isn’t asking anyone to provide any compromising information I can see, so no need to be too suspicious here. Sometimes we get people who ask “can you help me find person XXX”, but that’s not the nature of this request


#18

As you say, I have not asked for any compromising information, only to be pointed in the right direction.
I appreciate the feedback from those of you who wanted to help, now I have an idea of where to start.


#19

I understand your father’s pain, but if she was old and with no relative and 6 months no contact, trying to unearth info about her is not good. If she is gone I think your father, as a mature adult, will learn how to deal with the grief as it might be probably only 2 things: either she has passed or she doesn’t want to be found.

Unfortunately you sound just like someone whom I have dismissed for a long time. And after many years of my absence from social media and clearly letting the person know not to contact me again, the person went as far as contacting every one from my family and every one whom I could have ever possibly known. Even my bosses were contacted. I have moved jobs and somehow career path just to get away. That person sounds very normal and not harmful at all in the stalking search endevours online, but it has been years of stalking and to the point of me taking legal measurements.

My ‘stalker’ did not fall short of posting on the internet looking for me, wanted to know if I was dead or sick or in need of something when o has clearly said in the last communication to not ever contact me. That person went as far as contacting every social group (church, volunteering, sports group) I was ever involved with the excuse of worrying about my well being. So my words might seem harsh to you but they are not out of the blue. You might have a legitimate case but if I didn’t know (your described situation) you sound just like my stalker.

So, really, as I said checking a public obituary or a Google search is the maximum you can or should do. Six months without contact is some time to go look for someone now. A husband or lover would look for someone in a week’s time at most, so it seems you father is not legally binded to her or similar. Searching beyond that is just creepy and, to me, stalking.


#20

If you know what city or town she lived in, wouldn’t there be a record at the administrative office on the hukou? That should be public record. That’s in the case that she’s dead, I mean. Which seems likely.

It does not seem at all like stalking to me. My mother is in her late 80s and often thinks of old friends or even relatives she would like to contact. She’s hardly a stalker.