I thought all babies/toddlers are cute. Even ugly babies are cute in their own way. There is no such thing as an ugly baby…or is there? Any kid up to five would still be a baby, I guess.
Once I met a baby and the baby’s parents and friends. EVERYone was gushing about how cute the baby was and oohing and aahing. But I bent down and took the baby’s hands and it was not a cute baby. Someone remarked to me, “Isn’t he kyooooote?” and all I could say was, “…He sure is…a bundle of joy!” with such a shocked fake smile on my face. I felt so bad. But that was one UNcute baby.
Should I have just agreed the baby was cute and left it at that? After all, an ugly baby could grow to be beautiful. What do you do when you’re put on the spot in a situation like that?
My father used to say that babies were like Christmas trees. No matter how ugly it was you just smile and tell the owner it’s beautiful.
Going to the nursery in hospitals to see friend’s babies and also my own I did see some nasty looking newborns. But that’s probably because their heads hadn’t quite taken shape yet.
Do the Taiwanese do what the Koreans do? In Korea I was told by my close friend and language teacher that “cute” is in a way an insult. A truly attractive baby will be praised as beautiful or handsome. If the baby is ugly, the Koreans will call him “cute.” In my brand of English, beautiful is much better than cute, but cute is good too. Not there. How about here?
I KNOW all babies are cute, I’m not denying that. Babies melt my heart. But what would Forumosans do when put in a situation where the baby/toddler/child is definitely NOT cute, rather monstrous, or even bufugly? You think that’s not possible? Neither did I till I saw this one year old. He wasn’t totally baby-like cuz he’s a year old. He had some personality in his face, and dang, personality would be the only thing to get him by in life if he continued to look like that. (Sorry, kinda mean, but honest.)
I am sure he will grow out of his awkward baby stage and be normal, but in retrospect, I think I should have just gone along and said, “Yes, he sure is a cutie!” Is that the etiquette? I think I should have (and should in the future) just say the baby is cute no matter what.
So what would you say in that situation? And I don’t think, “Only a face a mother could love” would be quite appropriate at a party for that baby in the presence of his parents.
It’s not like someone is showing you a ceramic piece they just pulled out of the kiln and asking your opinion.
In that situation you can of course tell them you think it would look better like this or that, and they can have another try at it.
So I think you’d better just agree next time that it’s cute.
Or you could also quote some Rodney Dangerfield jokes:
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
My mother had morning sickness after I was born
My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.
When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
See!
