A buddy of mine (really, not me) had been maneuvering for weeks to get a chance alone with this girl who was sort of the girlfriend of another friend of ours, but was also sort of known to not take the whole fidelity issue too seriously.
Because of the logistics, most of the normal solutions were unusable.
So one autumn night they were driving back from the bar and he finally said screw it and pulled off the road past a stand of trees and into an empty field (or so he thought), anyways, down went the Jimmy’s back seat, off came the duds and etc.
As they were relaxing and having a smoke and a beer after, in the quiet moonlight, the entire world suddenly erupted.
The ground started shaking
They were engulfed in a blinding white light
There was a deafening cacophony of whirring and rattling.
She starts screaming, he’s paralysed.
Naturally, they had parked in a remote field of canola that was being night harvested and there was a humungous combine bearing down on them.
Still buck fuckin naked, he leaps into the front seat and fires the truck up and floors it, trying to get away. Of course, it was an open field, so the way was bumpy at anything more than a crawl.
He said he’d never forget (nor would we after he told the story) the image of jamming through the canola, bouncing up and down and praying he didn’t bust an axle, while the back of his truck was a festival of flying clothes, beer cans, and a naked redhead.
He got away, for what it was worth.
I don’t think they had much to do with each other after that.