…and of course now she says she won’t help me renew. And that I should just go back to Canada. I’m hoping she cools down…but if she doesn’t? I know some people have gotten their 3 year extension without their wife being present. But I need her…family registration thingy. And she won’t give me that. So other than kissing her ass for the next while…options?
Call home and get Ma to make up your old room??
You don’t need her present, you just need the family registration thingy. I did once get one of those without her present, but I can’t remember what I needed. Maybe your ARC card will suffice as ID?
Mother and father are dead. Mom died when I was 21. Father…who knows?
If you did someting really bad to her that is unforgivable, then suck it up and sell your bikes. Fast. I believe you have a child? That alone could be grounds enough for them to let you stay.
You don’t need her to be present when you extend your ARC – at least I’ve never been accompanied by the wife when I’ve gone.
I think you might need her to be present when she gets the Hukou copy thing, though. You could try getting it without her by taking your ARC, marriage documentation, maybe a bill or something addressed to you… good luck, but you know women – she’ll cool down. 
Sorry to hear about that Mordeth.
Emotions and feelings can change, give here some space, it may all blow over once she realizes she wouldn’t be seeing you again and the child’s father would be gone…etc…
Good luck.
No need that your wife is present. Go to the household registration office, tell them your address. nobody will dare to ask for your wifes presence.
i did so. As everywhere, only if you ask than you will get bad answers.
Do something bad? No…it was the same old rant she normally gives. She complains I don’t clean the house enough. Keep in mind that I take care of my son from 7am to noon every day. And then I work at a school for 5 hours. And I have my websites to run which takes another 3 hours. And she…well she doesn’t work. She has all morning every morning…to do whatever. And my son naps in the afternoon while I’m at work. So by my count she has 5 hours while I take care of my son, 3 hours while he naps. And he falls asleep at 9 at night…and she goes to bed at 11 or 12. So she has 10 or 11 hours of free time each day to do whatever. I on the other hand have about half that. So I suggested that since earning money is 100% my responsibility and taking care of our three dogs is 100% me and I do do housework and buy all our meals (she doesn’t cook) and take care of our son for a good portion of each and every day…I thought she might be able to spare an hour each day to tidy the house. But of course that makes me a piece of shit and less than most men.
I also give her all the money I make each month and don’t smoke, drink, or cheat. Pretty sure I haven’t done anything too terrible. My biggest sin in life…is being a pussy who lives in fear of his wife…but welcome to marriage.
Women…cant live with em, cant live without em. At least you got one, so be happy that way.
They are all bad in some ways while granted some are bad in all ways. Hope u guys work things out.
p.s. re-reading ur account. Man she lives like a queen. Maybe when the kid is older and in kindy she can get a J.O.B.
But all said and done be super nice to her always , she will come around to appreciate you and will reward you. Women are smart that way.
To get the copy of the household registration document, you only need her ID number I believe. I don’t think you even need her ID card, much less your wife’s presence.
Once you have your household registration document and the other documents, such as passport, then you’re set. I doubt that you need your wife at all to renew. Sorry to hear about your problems, though.
You fiend!
:no-no:
Why are you causing trouble at the very moment when no splashing is allowed?
Exactly. And next time secure all documentation pertaining to you and your child before starting any ruckus!
How long does one have to be married before they can divorce and remain in Taiwan?
Do something bad? No…it was the same old rant she normally gives. She complains I don’t clean the house enough. Keep in mind that I take care of my son from 7am to noon every day. And then I work at a school for 5 hours. And I have my websites to run which takes another 3 hours. And she…well she doesn’t work. She has all morning every morning…to do whatever. And my son naps in the afternoon while I’m at work. So by my count she has 5 hours while I take care of my son, 3 hours while he naps. And he falls asleep at 9 at night…and she goes to bed at 11 or 12. So she has 10 or 11 hours of free time each day to do whatever. I on the other hand have about half that. So I suggested that since earning money is 100% my responsibility and taking care of our three dogs is 100% me and I do do housework and buy all our meals (she doesn’t cook) and take care of our son for a good portion of each and every day…I thought she might be able to spare an hour each day to tidy the house. But of course that makes me a piece of shit and less than most men.
I also give her all the money I make each month and don’t smoke, drink, or cheat. Pretty sure I haven’t done anything too terrible. My biggest sin in life…is being a pussy who lives in fear of his wife…but welcome to marriage.[/quote]
It sounds like you’re getting the thin end of the wedge there, Mordeth.
But she’d be dumber than dumb to throw away such an advantageous situation without the strongest conceivable cause. So I guess you can afford to call her bluff. And if the worst comes to the worst, and she doesn’t come round to a more reasonable way of thinking, I’m sure you’ll have no problem being allowed to stay in Taiwan to take care of your Taiwanese son.
inch mile idiom springs to mind
in a non-aggressive way when this arguement last brewed, instead of arguing with her and sayig “get off your lazy ass” I pulled out pen and paper and asked what she did, and what I did and then we worked out how much time was spent on each and suprise suprise, looking after the pets (washing, feeding walking) and cooking added up MORE PER DAY than cleaning the house ALL WEEK. Added on, she didnt want to do ANY of “my” jobs, dump bin/recycling, pick up dog shit… we barely broach this topic now
Alternatively, she may be expecting to do the “women jobs” and just won’t count you as doing them even if you do and really she actually just wants you to do the “manly” jobs like, fixing toilet, picking up dog shit, killing 'roaches… so instead of helping, just pull back… obviously easier with documents
Since you are a memeber of the household you can apply for the document, as above, I even did it for my wife’s parent’s house! Just smile and be nice.
Hope the relationship improves, I hope she realises the consequences of hanging this ultimatum over you - “you get what you wish for”
Mordeth, I’ll start with a disclaimer: My experience as a husband, and the heard experiences of my married friends is largely limited to Taiwan. It’s my belief that many Taiwanese women will say things they do not mean. Instead, it’s the dramatic effect that those words have that they seek. What kind of effect does your wife hope her words has on you?
If you don’t know, then try this as a course of action: Do everything she has suggested, even if it means that she is lounging like a princess and you are working like a slave. Be her servant, and do it without attitude. Do it because you love her. She is obviously a generous, charitable person (she married you, after all), so give her the benefit of the doubt. She’s the woman you committed your life to, and she’s the mother of your son. Give her the very damned best you can give her. Maybe she’s going through a rough time. I’m sure that when she sees that you are truly doing your best by her, she will “feel the love” and respond in kind.
If after a suitably long period you feel that your love isn’t being reciprocated, then I guess you have to explore your next options. Those options are usually extremely painful for the whole family, especially the children, so make sure you’ve gone WAY above the call of duty before you even contemplate that.
PS When you start your efforts as superhusband / superdaddy / superbreadwinner / man of the house, keep your attitude in check. If she thinks that you’re doing it to “make a point” or to make her look bad, then you’re doing it wrong. Do it with love.
Mordeth, you need to get a huji tengben from the Household Registration Office - your name will already be on this document, so you don’t need your wife (or even her permission) to get a copy. It costs NT$20 and takes five minutes. You should be able to do it using just your ARC as proof of ID, but as scormargo says, you should note down your wife’s ID number in case they ask for that too.
Once you have that document, you can take it along with all the other relevant stuff to your local NIA office and get yourself a shiny new (3 year) ARC.
Hope things work out with the missus.
FWIW if it were me, I would put an end to that immediately… Doesn’t sound like she’s responsible enough to be at the reins of your family’s finances, especially if she’s not contributing to them in any way…
I suspect something is going on on wife’s side of the equation. Maybe financial. Something to trigger her meltdown, when she actually has queen status. My advice: be nice, get your ARC renewed, then get your own bank account (also 'tron’s point). My intuition says “money leak to in-laws that hasn’t been disclosed to breadwinner”.
first of all i am passing the following comments after hearing just your side of the story…
you are already doing what all is expcted of you (I mean as a husband)…can’t say the same about her…
in marriage there has to be co-operation and both parties need to give and take…in yr case it looks / is a one way street!! it cannot work / last this way…you cannot demand and neither should she…each of you should know what is expected of each other…in my opinion using the visa stuff as a knife over your head is a highly immature way to deal with the problem at hand…
Sorry Maoman but don’t agree with you completely…she is acting / has proven that she is unstable and immature ( at least at this present moment ) and the more Mordeth caves in the worse it will get…there are a couple and no one is the boss and no one is the slave they are equal partners which unfortunately she does not seem to understand!!
Yes he can make an effort to clean the house will he be doing it alone or will she help him with the same?? for most of the other stuff it seems like he is doing everything on his own without any help from her !!
Mordeth hope it’s not coz she feels u have loads of time zipping here and there on yr bike and she is getting left at home all alone with the baby…
the bottom line is that based on the problem that they are facing she should not use the visa stuff as a weapon against Moderth…hope she has just said it in the heat of the moment…