Have you ever had any problems in your relationships here or even broken up because of a language barrier issue?
Practice your “Bi shou wo jao” (body language).
I had terrible problems with my boyfriend. Practising body language helped of course, but after a while I still felt like a retard because I wasn’t able to express myself freely enough. He did most of the talking and I just laughed at his jokes. But then again, that’s what most guys consider a perfect relationship 
Yep, I sort of had a problem with my ex that way. It wasn’t so much her English (as it is way better than my Chinese) and it’s good for everyday lovey dovey and general chit chat. But when we had a little “disagreement” I would get frustrated at the fact that we couldn’t really express our opinions to each other better. That being said, our relationship did not end due to a language barrier, but rather other factors.
Why communicate when you can just have sex? Shut up and take off your clothes. Always works.
Guys? More like what most girls consider a perfect relationship. 
We have our moments. Usually it’s to do with the way one of us says something and not the actual words. I remeber a time I was driving in Taipei and she kept giving me very vague directions or no directions at all. I got annoyed stopped the car and did the old “you blblallhlnlhnlalflglrlggldlfgl” which didn’t help!
After a cooling off period, in which I was supposed to be studying, she confessed that she actually didn’t have the vocabulary. and that she was too embarrassed to tell me! So, we drove around for the next week going “take a left” “turn down the next lane” and so on. Thinking about it, most of our disageements usually arise from a language miscomprehension or two. But, we always kisss and make up.
L:rainbow:
[quote=“Limey”]We have our moments. Usually it’s to do with the way one of us says something and not the actual words. I remeber a time I was driving in Taipei and she kept giving me very vague directions or no directions at all. I got annoyed stopped the car and did the old “you blblallhlnlhnlalflglrlggldlfgl” which didn’t help!
After a cooling off period, in which I was supposed to be studying, she confessed that she actually didn’t have the vocabulary. and that she was too embarrassed to tell me! So, we drove around for the next week going “take a left” “turn down the next lane” and so on. Thinking about it, most of our disageements usually arise from a language miscomprehension or two. But, we always kisss and make up.
L:rainbow:[/quote]
It’s always good to have a reason to kiss and make up.
A guy communicating with a lover who (1) is a woman (2) grew up in another culture and (3) presents a language barrier–that’s a triple threat, boys. Most men I know have a hard enough time with (1).
How do you say, “be honest, does this outfit make me look fat” in Chinese?
Guys? More like what most girls consider a perfect relationship. :p[/quote]
I wouldn’t know, I’ve never had a relationship with a girl
language barrier sucks.
Bump
This is a good topic, please keep the discussion flowin’ n’ comin’ 
Gawd knows if me and Mrs. the chief had ever been forced to rely on my crap Chinese to communicate, things would have been over a looooong time ago.
I’ve known many many dudes over the years whose Chinese was really good, like read-the-paper-good, and at some point or another, they always try to have a relationship with a girl who has virtually no English, and I have never seen it pan out for longer than 6 months.
Ever.
YMMV, of course.
Whether that’s actually due to the language or some level of expanded cross-cultural rapport that accompanies the fluency, well, I don’t know.
The reverse, obviously, is completely different, witness not only yours truly, but the hordes of other blokes we know who are in long-term relationships where most communication is based on the local lady’s English.
Why?
I have no idea.
My lady and I started out working through her terrible English and my non-existent Chinese. It turned out to be a real long-term plus. First thing we had to do was learn to listen to another… a great asset for promoting long-term harmony.
I have never dated anyone who was not equally conversant in English as me. Cos to me, after all the initial physical lust factor - it’s the mind that lasts. And if we cannot communicate in a common language and talk about everything from Socrates to Soccer, then it’s difficult to last.
However, I have this European guy who is married to this Thai girl. She spoke broken English and he no Thai in the first few months. Yet, they are still married. I guess love conquers all! :bravo:
I think the language barrier was actually helpful to my relationship. We spent more time showing each other how much we care and how we feel than we do saying. Also he is really in tune with my expressions. So even if I say something doesn’t bother me, he knows it does. Which comes from back when his english and my chinese were both awful. I think that working through the language barrier really made for strong non-verbal comunication skills with us.
My wife is Taiwanese, I’m American. We met in Japan 11 years ago and for the first 2 years only communicated in Japanese. Her Japanese was at a much higher level than mine when we first met. We had some miscommunications because of that, because we were both using a language that wasn’t our native language, and because we lived in a country foreign to both of us.
I knew very little about Taiwan before I met her and how much or how little of her behavior was a result of her being Taiwanese and which part was due to language barrier, which part was just her personality, etc. And vice-versa for her about me.
We’ve had our share of miscommunications over the years due to language barriers. We live in Taiwan now and mostly speak English and Chinese at home. When we have trouble communicating in English or Chinese, Japanese has always been a great buffer for us as we’re still learning each other’s native languages.
We don’t have many language barrier problems now after all this time together, and I’d have to say that the language barrier problems we’ve had have only strengthened our relationship as we’ve had to conquer them together. The language barrier has certainly kept things interesting.
We sometimes ponder what it would have been like if we were both from the same country speaking the same native language. That’s something we’ll never know. I love my wife very much and would say it’s been worth overcoming the language barrier to get where we are now, even with all the cross-cultural communication problems that we’ve had to deal with along the way.
Language is not as much of a problem if you’re okay, I met first girl friend in the States. It was my 2nd year in States(junior high school), not so great in English, I had to ask her a lot things, but that was the first time I got to emerged into American culture, I think she is great for teaching me (while unware of) so much conversational English alone 
… hum that’s like almost 6 years ago now.
I thought I had a language problem with my boyfriend. I work on my English only to find he had nothing to say.
[quote=“mlpgd”]I have never dated anyone who was not equally conversant in English as me. Cos to me, after all the initial physical lust factor - it’s the mind that lasts. And if we cannot communicate in a common language and talk about everything from Socrates to Soccer, then it’s difficult to last.
However, I have this European guy who is married to this Thai girl. She spoke broken English and he no Thai in the first few months. Yet, they are still married. I guess love conquers all! :bravo:[/quote]
ya! Love is just a magical power, isn`t it!