Lawyer Jokes

Hence the name. Of course, it makes perfect sense now. Which reminds me of the old saw:

Q:Why don’t sharks eat lawyers?
A:Professional courtesy.


Definition of waste - empty seat on busload of lawyers going over a cliff

My favorite lawyer joke:

Why don’t lawyers play in the sand?

Because cats bury them.

Joke #1

If two men have been run over by a car, how do you know which one is the lawyer?

There are no skidmarks in front of the lawyer’s body.

Joke #2

The National Institute of Health (NIH) announced last week that they were going to start using lawyers instead of rats in their experiments.

  1. The lab assistants were becoming very attached to their little rats. This emotional involvement was interfering with the research being conducted. No such attachment could form for a lawyer.

  2. Lawyers breed faster and are in much greater supply.

  3. Lawyers are much cheaper to care for and the humanitarian societies won’t jump all over you no matter what you’re studying.

  4. There are some things even a rat won’t do.

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

Whores won’t keep screwing their clients after they’re dead.