Lesbian culture shock


I recently got involved in a fling-ish with a Taiwanese lady (T, if you must say) and had a sleep over. Yes, there always is a little whore inside of me, but it was supposed to be just crashing for couple hours before the road trip so I was going to go to sleep. That moment she tried to be “friendly,” so we almost got intimate until she gently pushed me away from her. WTF? I got confused and asked her why and she says she just doesn’t like it.

I don’t doubt her gayness, but according to what she said, Ts in Taiwan only like to give and not receive. Or that’s at least what I understood. (My Chinese is limited and she doesn’t speak English so I’ve been experiencing some hardships communicating.) Is that possible? How can you only give and not receive? Also according to her, Ps in Taiwan only like to receive and not give. When I said it was not fair(bu-gongping) she laughed and said there was nothing unfair about it.

I really would not like to classify myself as T or P; I just like women. I have short hair, but I put makeup on too in occasions. I absolutely LOVE to wear pumps with suit. So… does that make me a T or a P in Taiwanese standard? What if I like both giving and receiving? Do I only get to pick one in Taiwan? Maybe she pushed me away because I stink and just wanted to be polite so lied about the whole T and P story… :cry:

Oh, don’t feel bad, she is not making stuff up. You just ran into a 鐵T, which is Stone Butch (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stone_butch).

You don’t have to label yourself, I think people just use it for convenience (to identify potential hookups, etc). In your case, you can call yourself “不分” (bu-feng). Which means you are not particularly femme and butch, with no particular preference to either, and loves both. Or even more specifically, there’s 不分偏P and 不分偏T, which means slightly femme and slightly butch respectively.

The labeling is silly because of the dynamics of sexuality, I’ve met very butch woman who identify themselves as 不分 and likes to receive, and very femme lesbian who firmly identifies herself as T.

So yeah, in her case she’s not lying, stone butch usually ends up with woman who only receives.

Hope this helps!


Here is some information which you may find useful and/or interesting. There are some more threads out there which have more details than these, but I can’t seem to find them right now.

[quote=“Battery9 on April 14, 2008”]

When you are a lesbian here you need to choose whether you are a T or a P.(T=tomboy, P = Poa? meaning wife…or whatever)

The T’s dress like boys, have short hair, hold their gfs hair while they puke, rub their necks, get jealous and territorial…bind their breasts (not bind, but have these funky bras they wear) etc etc

The Ps have loong hair. … long nails( imagine how much action that poor T is getting…yup…not much)…impractical shoes, clothes, giggles…the usual meimei bs.

and they walk hand in hand…and give each other little pecks…and the Ps blow up their cheeks when they get angry, and turn their back on the Ts…who then have to sortof grovel like a dog that did something wrong…

it’s just terribly yuck and I’m terribly judgemental but having been stared at or blinked at with vague ’ i think I may feel a thought coming’ expressions when I answer ‘I don’t care’ when I’m asked whether I’m T or P, or like Ts or Ps for SEVEN YEARS now…

I have every right to! :smiley:

the fun thing about being lesbian is that you are equal…and then BAM…welcome to Taiwan… :loco:[/quote]

It helps because it reveals that you’ll find it difficult to hook up. Just ask Battery 9. There is a VERY strict hierarchy in the lesbian community. Ts go with Ps. Exclusively. If you’re a P, you’ll be considered a godless deviant if you go for other Ps. Simply NOT done at all.[/quote]

Interesting piece of information… which slightly discourages me from wanting to date in Taiwan.

1 Like


I hope the defibrillators have been charged up for some of our older posters.

HHAHHAHAHHA MANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNn was I ever annoyed at the whole scene in that post. :smiley:

hmmmm 13 years here now…still annoyed:D

Well, recently I had this conversation with a lesbian that fits perfectly the T definition… . she told me lots of stuff about her, her sexuality and her ex girlfriend and their relationship. Apparently there’s a lot of complex here… if she doesn’t like to receive neither to show herself naked, most likely she just doesn’t like herself because she doesn’t have a very femenine body, so she dresses up like a boy and won’t cover herself even when intimating. It also seems that her (their?) sexuality is quite screwed up, not being much able to enjoy it just for the fun of it. Yeah, it is only one case, but I heard similar theories before. I’ve known a very different type of lesbians before that even if they like the boyish style they don’t have these problems (perhaps some others), but I think that the friend you made, OP, most likely has a similar problem that my lesbian friend here.

Help her to find herself :smiley:

people define themselves differently. being t or p is just one way of categorizing but it isn’t how everyone define themselves, so u just gotta find the right person for you. i believe everyone has a soulmate, and soulmates are always supportive of each other regardless of what they go through. anyway, does anyone wanna share what they’re doing for this upcoming three-day weekend?