Letter to Tech Support


#1

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing and household supervision that take up quite a lot of space, time, and valuable resources. No mention of these phenomena was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs, and launches during the system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications like Pokernight 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5, and Saturday Afternoon Tag-Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I am thinking of going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not seem to work on this program. Can you help me PLEASE!?!?

Thanks, Duncan


#2

Dear Duncan,

This is a very common problem that men complain about here in Taiwan but is mostly due to a number of misunderstandings… Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a utilities and entertainment program. This is a misconception.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its creator to run everything. It is very unlikely that you will be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within the system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0, so nothing is gained other than small change of scenery on your Desktop. It is impossible to purge, delete, or un-install the program files from the system once they are installed. You can not go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is specifically designed prohibit this action.

Some men have gone as far as installing Girlfriend 8.0 in a hidden subdirectory, or tried installing Wife 2.0, but end up with more problems than were present in the original configuration of Wife 1.0 – moreover, detection of Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 can result in Wife 1.0 creating general protection faults such as “Warning - Cannot find Alimony or Child Support files,” or “Warning - Front door key does not fit in lock anymore,” “Bank account files are out of date,” etc.

Because tampering with Wife 1.0’s directories and sub-directories causes them to become encrypted, they are almost impossible to understand or modify. Luckily, some over-rides have been installed to assist you in (at least) making Wife 1.0 a livable experience.

I recommend that you attempt the following at the onset of ANY problems that you might have. After any system crash, Wife 1.0 WILL give you an opportunity to fix the problem yourself (although you might not see the opportunity, it IS there, you just have to look for it). At the C prompt enter the following:

c:\apologize

Generally this should work, unless you have truly created a massive error. Then you may enter this hidden sub-directory

c:\apologize\kneeling

In any case, avoid hitting the “Esc” key at all costs! There are also add-ons that you can install to assist you in your efforts. Try buying a copy of Flowers 4.1 or Chocolates 5.5, or both for really big errors. Gold Necklace 7.7 is also useful.

Do not, under ANY circumstances install Secretary v38.24.36 with the short skirt upgrade! This is not a supported application for any of the Wife OR Girlfriend series programs, and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the system, and corruption of all relevant data.

Best of Luck, Tech Support


#3

ROTFL!


#4

hahahaha… so funny yet so true! :?

i’m going to send this to my bro in Aus, he’s gonna love this :laughing: