I just talked to my mother (who I came out to 3 years ago) and my brother (who I told in April) on the phone. My mother’s initial reaction, being the good Christian she is, was to cry and ask me how I could do this. Over the last 3 years, she and my father have come to accept it. Though, I’m not sure they will ever like it.
My brother, on the other hand, always struck me as pretty homophobic. So, even after I told my parents, it was sort of agreed upon by all 3 that we wouldn’t tell him right away. But, amazingly enough to me, my mother has finally started telling people that I’m gay. And, she started to worry that my bro would find out through someone else. She though it was important for me to tell him, instead.
His reaction was not what I expected. I told him over lunch at a restaurant (figuring he wouldn’t make a scene) and he just sat, quietly. Then he asked me how long I had known. I told him. He then asked me how my mom reacted. I told him. And, that was the end of the conversation.
Even so, I do notice with both of them that we can having a very pleasant converation on the phone, laughing, etc… like tonight and if I mention my boyfriend (they both know about him), their attitudes change slightly… just for a second. It’s almost like the DVD froze.
I agree about Taiwan, though. I find that most people here don’t have a problem when I tell them. I think it is definitely a function of two things. One, I’m a foreigner. They seem to think it more likely that a foreigner will be gay than another Taiwanese guy. I am still always amazed at the number of people who seem more shocked my bf is Taiwanese than that I am gay.
The other thing is that I’m not related to them. Even their shock that my bf is Taiwanese is only fleeting. Usually they recover fast and accept it. I think because, he is not related to them. So, they could care less if he (or I) am “a gay.” Unlike his mother who I don’t think will ever accept that he is gay, since he is the only son. Nor, will she ever like me, since I’m preventing her only son from giving her a daughter-in-law and grandkids.