Lost Passport

I have lost my passport…don’t ask me how are where…should I go to my “embassy” in Taipei about it or the embassy in Beijing.

Or should I just buy a canoe and try to make it back to Europe

One of the first things you should do is go to your local police office in Taiwan and report it missing. I believe they will give you some paperwork to fill out. You will probably need to copy it and take it to your Embassy, but I am not sure about that. If your country has an Embassy in Taiwan, yes you should go there or contact them immediately as to find out the procedure for getting a new one.