I’m hearing that self-soothing is exactly the wrong approach, and in fact, leads to mental issues later on in life. I’m not saying I agree (I don’t know enough to agree or disagree), but I would be very careful about just letting a baby cry. I would research this carefully before taking such an approach.
Do you have kids?
thank you for taking my issue seriously,i really needed it now…so i know exactly where to stand☺️
He has written many times on this forum he has children.
he had his daughter with the first wife and a son with me:girl:t3:
Even if he didn’t have this daughter, are you so sure that he would be more hands-on? Does he help out with diapers and bottles?
I was asking BrianJones whether he has kids.
I have a 1 year old baby and I’m one those hands-on Dads, more so than my wife. I can relate to your husband from a man’s POV and I can also relate to you because I am the one primarily motivated to be hands-on with baby-sitting, which means my wife isn’t doing a lot of baby-sitting. This thread isn’t about me.
If i were in your shoes I would ask your husband to help out with housekeeping and filling up the fridge as much as possible. You would want to get into a circle fellow moms to share tips and help each other out. Just treat this as seriously as a job and don’t be distracted by secondary factors such as his Daughter.
he helps after i had my breakdowns…if he feels that im not in the talking mood already,it means im already upset and really tired
thank you,really appreciate every words and comments…im trying to focus now on the baby,he helps or not…its really up to him now…tired of getting mad already😔
Her husband is not neglecting her son. He believes in shushing the baby should be the primary way of soothing as opposed to picking up. There are pros and cons in both ways. It’s up to the couple to negotiate. Obviously if baby poops or is hungry then shushing does nothing to help…, but so is picking up. Her husband may have a higher tolerance for baby’s cry because this is not his first baby, so he is more chilled. New mom can be more anxious and (more clueless) and she’s doing the right thing reaching out to talk about it
I’d argue it’s a balance. They need to be self soothing to put themselves to sleep, or they will be overly dependent on your presence to fall asleep. You can start sleep training once you’ve moved them to a crib, no longer using a swaddle, and they can rollover and hold themselves up.
The opposite is what most parents do here by sleeping in the same bed with their children until they’re like 10 years old, and letting them stay up until midnight every night (to finish homework). I’m convinced that’s why so many adults take naps at work.
Wait what? no that’s not why people take naps here. People take siesta here because it’s how people traditionally live with this particular climate and dietary habits. What’s the hurry with a mere half an hour lunch break? A sandwich for lunch and then back to work?
Exactly that’s why it’s called “siesta”.
You missed the point. Let your children learn to sleep on their own and everyone will be happier for it. Even better is when they force children over the age of four to take naps in school that don’t need them. If you let your child stay up until midnight every night, or sleep with you, they will be sleep deprived. Children need more sleep than adults.
Aiya it’s the adults, the teachers and the parents who need the1 hr to nap and run errands. I’m not disagreeing with you but the real purpose is for the modern day two-parents-only-both-working family structure to function and get by day in and day out.
Dealing with this stuff is tough. It sucks feeling neglected, especially when you’ve got a little one to look after. Trust your gut – if you’re unhappy, it’s totally okay to think about what’s best for you and your son. Maybe try talking to your husband about how you’re feeling? Sometimes a heart-to-heart can clear things up.