been married for less than a year and we have a 3month old son,the problem is i can sense that he is still attached to his ex wife by following all his commands and using their daughter as an excuse for seeing her…he rarely takes care of our son if he is at home and play computer game instead…but if his ex wife tell her their daughter needs her,he puts everything down even his work to attend to his daughter…i always felt bad for my son because he didnt deserve that kind of a father,im thinking of separating but im still on my ARC as of now and i quit my job before i gave birth…just want to know if there is something that can make me feel good about what is happening or any advice on how to cope with feeling of betrayal from my own husband.thank you and more power to this site
not sure if he loves the ex or just not a particularly great father. Some fathers find it harder for relate to babies, babies can be more dependent on the mother.
Anyway it’s hard to judge the situation from the outside.
Looking after a new born baby can be very stressful.
3 months in. Let the dust settle and make an assessment based on habit and change.
Best wishes.
Yup, first year is hardest and he probably feels an equal parental obligation to the other kid. In short, you won’t have him all to yourself until both kids are grown, but this first year will be hardest, it (usually) gets better, hang in there!
thanks for the advice,really need anything to help me ease my ppd…i just cant help but notice the difference between him with his daughter and at home with his son.I even ask him if he wants to go back to his first family,and if he wants to its ok just send support to his son until I get a job on my own.
His response to this?
He has 2 kids and plays video games? I have 2 kids and zero time for anything outside of them, much less even video games alone.
Tumultuous emotional waves at this moment are normal.
The joy and responsibility of raising your new born will take the reigns. 
he told me,that the money i will earn will just go to the hired helper/nanny…his family cant help,because their focus is on the first child
i really admire those dads that are hands on with their kids…that are willing to help their wives in any possible way they can just to let them rest and have a me time…just got so lucky,i think iv got the other way around
Have you tried giving him specific things to help with? Does he help or not help?
Try giving him specific commands like his ex wife does and see how it goes? Does he prioritize his daughter over the newborn? He has to split his time between both.
Wait a while. It will get better as the baby gets older.
he definitely prioritize the daughter,even if he sees the son crying he just shushhh the baby but still on his computer…i ask him if he can carry the baby so to calm down,he said he doesnt want to…because the baby will get used to it
i really hope so:pray:
Do you know if he carried the daughter when she was younger…? 
the daughter was taken cared by the grandmother until now
I can agree that his prioritizing his daughter over your son does not benefit you pre se, but he has his reasons.
However, other than it not benefiting you, he’s not doing anything wrong. Daughter is his oldest child in whom he has invested more, has a longer history with, and more obligations, more complexity.
Baby is stressful, tedious, but relatively simple. Baby has simple needs. This is a good opportunity for you to take up the challenge, stretch your limit and gain personal growth. No pain no gain.
Congratulations with your new born.
Your man is okay, keep him.
He is not creating any bond with his son. Father and son bond is important. He is acting like a psycho. I hope is just temporary
He is not entirely wrong. You do want to give baby a chance to learn to self-sooth. If he’s not too “hands-on” he is just being a traditional man that’s all.
Cheesy unhelpful comment IMHO.
Feels like you are delivering a lecture .
i may agree that his daughter is his first,but why do he have to look for who is first and who is not…is it wrong to have a fair feelings, for they are both his child just with different mother