There is a big difference between rape and the fantasy of it. I’ve had a few girlfriends who like to wrestle and play about. I’m sure that’s connected in some way.
Don’t get the wrong idea here…I’m a guy who handed out “No, means No.” pamphlets at the bar back in Canada. Had as many guys laughing at me as I did girls. You will not find a more anti-rape guy on this forum…anywhere.
But…just saying that some studies have said it’s one of women’s top fantasies.
From what I’ve seen of sex amongst other mammals something akin to rape seems to be more or less the norm. Foreplay, delayed ejaculation, clitoral stimulation etc. seem to mean not a thing to the horny dogs in my neighbourhood. Of course the human animal is another kettle of fish entirely, possessed as it is with imaginative faculties and an ethical sense, and exposed as it is to various social influences from playgirl to “no means no” crusades. Yes, indeed, it can all become pretty complicated, so best to stick with the simple notion that while some women might “fantasize” about being erotically dominated by a real hunk of a man it isn’t likely that any really want to be “raped” by you. It’s a lingusitics problem as much as anything else.
[quote=“Erhu”] Just so we’re clear, when I said I wanted to be “ravished”, I was NOT talking about rape. One of the definitions of “ravish” is:
Ravish me with flowers, poetry, gifts, dinners. Show a little bit of dominance- OK. But rape? No f***ing way![/quote]
Thanks for the common sense reply. I don’t want to be raped either!!!
I wouldn’t want to be raped either… 
And don’t really see the point in sex if it aint consensual…
But as a guy, I’d just like to state, that sometimes it would be nice if the ladies took some initiative. Would definitely not say no to being ravished myself… 
And quite a few bad ones.
[quote=“bismarck”]I wouldn’t want to be raped either… And don’t really see the point in sex if it aint consensual…
[/quote]
One definition of rape below. It is not discussable as something you want or don’t want to be on the receiving end of. If you want it, it is not rape, it is fantasy play. If you don’t want it. It is rape.
[quote]rape
n.
tr.v. raped, rap
I don’t know man…rape? Haven’t gotten that far. But if you mean being dominated and being totally submissive to the other person, yeah, I see what you mean then. It can be quite enjoyable.
The same goes for being the dominator and having the other person submit to you.
But rape, I don’t know man…
I’d be afraid to read if being raped was the woman’s fault because she “fantasized” about it.
Most people will admit, I think, to enjoying a little rough and tumble in their love life but “enjoying” is the key word. I also think that most men are hyper aware of the fact that they are pushing some very real boundaries when they are being sexually agressive and so respond to any displeasure from the woman like a balloon to a pin.
[quote=“Erhu”]
I’m not sure what your point is. 13 women out of 409 reported fantasizing about rape. That’s 3% of the women polled. Hardly the huge numbers that you are implying. [/quote]
… And it’s 1.4 percent for the men (4/291)…
Also, one thing is fantasizing about it, another thing is actually having it happen to you - IE that the 1.4% of males having fantasies about it may not all go out and try to make the dream come true - most won’t.
Most rapes take place between people who already know each other - with a significan proportion of those either being in or have been in a relationship.
There’s a huge, huge difference between fantasy and reality. Most of us have wild thoughts run through our head when we get turned on by a sexy babe and fantasize about throwing her to the floor and having your way with her. That’s normal. As long as it all stays in the head. Rape is something entirely different - it’s a violent act of aggression, not of lust.
So Bob is right, it’s a linguistics problem as much as anything else.
[quote=“Ironman”][quote=“bismarck”]I wouldn’t want to be raped either… And don’t really see the point in sex if it aint consensual…
[/quote]
One definition of rape below. It is not discussable as something you want or don’t want to be on the receiving end of. If you want it, it is not rape, it is fantasy play. If you don’t want it. It is rape.
[quote]rape
n.
tr.v. raped, rap
Does violating anyone in any way, especially those that cause trauma and/or injury, make any sense? Not to say that they’re at all the same, but beating someone is a gross violation as well. Any act of violence or unsolicited agression is wrong.