Eh… sometimes. Sometimes the other person is too clingy/desperate. It’s more complicated than this person wants commitment and this person doesn’t.
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Yeah, a big one!
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It still comes down to attachment theory. Anxious people tend to be clingy.
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What happens in Tokyo stays in Tokyo. 
Guy
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Until there’s a knock at the door years later. Papa?
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A Japanese girl breaking things off abruptly, possibly or probably never to be seen again, is kind of a known thing about Japanese girls even in Japan. It’s a thing they do.
It could have been caused by one little thing that you did, or caused by nothing on your part.
But don’t insult her feelings or intelligence by saying you “never intended this fling to mean anything”. Better to flatter her and let it be.
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I’m thinking about ‘The Crying Game’ for some reason
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or, it’s him. the fact that he’s posting about this and needing closure suggests he was getting a little clingy for a fling.
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You got pumped and dumped, fucked and chucked, she sinned and you got binned.
Better to have loved and lost and all that.
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Good point!
Nah, think about it this way. You’re having a great time, hooking up with this chick, everything’s going good, you’re partying, going to clubs, kissing, all the dirty stuff. She says she’s enjoying herself a lot, hugging, touching, says the sex is great.
Then next day she’s gone boom, writes a note saying she doesn’t want to lead you on. I think it would make most guys perhaps think “Hm was there something I did that turned her off?” It’s a genuine question to ask, not based on clinginess. Just unpredictability. Had we just parted a day later without any ghosting, it would have been chill and predictable. But because she left made me think perhaps she did not enjoy her time. Has nothing to do with clinginess.
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Certainly true, I will say this was not the case in this situation. With exception of maybe the poor “Tokyo Girlfriend” joke, which she laughed at I didn’t do anything to show clinginess. I never told her to come with me to go shopping, she said she needed clothes too and tagged along. I went about my days on my own itinerary and only came back to the hotel at night when I would see her (most of the time). I know some of you think I’m in denial but there was literally nothing else that was done, or indicated that I wanted something more. In fact the day before she left I was discussing on where and when I would drop her off at the station so she could make her way home, and also that the next time I’d see her or be back in Japan (if at all) would be at least 5 years from now.
So yea if you think that’s clingy, that’s fine
Definitely an interesting cultural phenomenon I did not know about. Good to know, thanks for the insight.
Yea good point, this was a way better alternative than the scenario you listed lol
The person coming off as clingy often doesn’t recognize it. Even if joking, things like joking about her being your Tokyo gf can come off clingy to a fling. Been there, made that mistake, move on, if you’re not clinging. 
edit: and suggesting the next time you might see her, 5 years in the future doesn’t help. suggests you’d want to keep in touch, long term, with future plans. no go.
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Go watch “Before Sunrise.”
She had her reasons she may be married or she has a ‘real boyfriend’
It’s not you it’s her
She was a Cheetah and she had to abide by the Cheetah code
Which is enjoy the day and there is no tomorrow in this relationship
Yours went on for quite a few days so that means she enjoyed the time with you but she knew going in it was finite …you didn’t
I will say in my limited experience that one should not indicate too much interest in a girl because then she starts to get edgy and think too much She starts to think something may be wrong with you and start planning her escape
Let them fall in love with you Never the other way around
Let them suggest the next get together
It’s the shits to fall in love with your one night stand
In your case even worse your several nights with the same girl stand
ONS is supposed to be ONS
And often those are the ones you remember the best
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I just want to make sure: you are saying your fling is over, but you want to ask why your fling is over?
It’s over because ….it’s over ? Just chiming in
ONS is like taking a train, you get to your destination and you get off , you do not stay on the train
Another train ride is ….on a different train
You do not keep riding the same train
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You blew it, kid. Sounds like she was a keeper. 
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