Shocking subject title yeah? Middle aged women. It is as though they do not exist. And if they do exist they had better not assert their prescence in any vital, free, expressive sort of way. How many “happy” middle aged women do you know? They are either 1) Working themselves to death. (These are the lucky ones.) 2) Married and doing the China doll thing for their rich husbands, only the China doll thing is wearing thin and hubby seems to be working a lot of late nights. They have no skills and no interests aside from attempting to prop up their sagging beauty. Anyway either option is a recipe for disaster unless boredom, loneliness and an empty ache where your life should be sound like attractive options to you. If I had the ear of my younger female comrades the advice I would give them would be this: Find out what you really love and do a lot of it. Don’t give up too much of yourself to what this or any society expects of you because it’s plans for you aren’t pretty.
Bob I agree with that. I have been here more than a couple of years now and see it quite often. My old boss was 41 attractive, a pleasant and considerate woman that worked late hours and always seemed to be mad at hubby and her overall life. I had another co-worker that was 39 and looked 29. She married because of pressure. She wasn’t into her husband. He was nice, but 1 dimensional (her words). She was flirty and would hang out with her male coworkers (us foreign dudes)at the bar, workout at Calif gym, shop, go to movies with girlfriends and said she always loved poetry, but never took it up cause she was too busy. We suspected she wanted to have a fling with another guy. Chinese or foriegn. We think she hadn’t, but was debating about it in her head.
True it is the culture. Many of my adult students male and female have no real interests or loves. Society does not allow them enough time for this when they are young, when interests develop. Your suggestion is good. Still it takes a unique person in Taiwan to do this.
Sometimes I feel sorry for the women I know who do nothing but work but then I meet one who stays home with the kids and I feel even worse. If work and family are absolutely “everything” to you then you wind up pretty frustrated it seems. Some of them just act angry all the time. Others turn it against themselves and become depressed. I wonder how much of the dissatisfaction arises as a result of exposure to shows like sex in the city that portray successful, independent women enjoying freedom and wild sex all the time.
Women back then were hot. Most of them didn’t worry about women’s rights or equality, they were just all women.
This could go down as one of the saddest viewpoint forums in history. Not the subject matter.
Mmmmm…what exactly is the focus of this thread? Sexy middle aged women or depressed middle aged women? :s
Even though I love dating women younger than me because it keeps me young and MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A GOD, I do have eyes for attractive older women sometimes. But like the above already mentioned stuff, it makes you wonder if they are as happy as they deserve to be.
In the case of middle aged women fantasies, I would not be hard-pressed to have a fling with a sexy woman over… 40? (It’'s the “Me and Mrs. Jones thing,” or the “Are you trying to seduce me Mrs. Robinson?” thing). Of course a one night stand would be ideal. When I lived in Korea, there was a whole series of younger men/older women pseudo-porn tapes available that were quite…stimulating?
But I would have to think long and hard (with my head), about having a long-term relationship with a woman much older than me.
I know it would end badly and I would be the one who was physically hurt in the relationship.
I used to teach classes full of these women. Mid 30’s to 40’s and in English class because they were borred out of their minds. Never wanted to study, just talk about eachother’s husbands or kids, and a lot of sex talk. Many of them were in/had gone through their sexual peaks without their husbands, who had their own things going with someone younger. Other than anti-aging methods, shopping, or gossiping, they seemed to have no life. An affair was what many of them seemd to long for, to be made to feel beautiful and desired, but as married women, though very attractive for the most part, they were, simply, un-desired. Really sad.
LOL Well RM you certainly hit the nail on the head.
Many woman today are too concerned with their so called rights and just stick it uptheir menfolk.
The kitchen in my house belongs to me. The missus can’t cook but I love her for that, because I love to cook for her. On the otherhand I don’t do a lot of washing the clothes or the house cleaning ( I do when I can though ) as I’m away from home so much.
I’m lucky… my missus just gets on with things. No bitching or moaning cause she knows I’ll take care of her in other ways, without bitching or moaning.
I agree with everyone here. I would like to point out that one of the sad reasons for this is the traditional “You MUST get married past a certain age”. And, “you must marry someone that ‘fits’ our family: money, power, education”. etc. It would be amazing to know what percent of purely-local couples actually consider themselves “happy”. Taiwan’s society has modernized so quickly that the difference between 30-year-old locals an their parents is like the difference between me and my grandparents–or maybe even older.
I think if you want to “do the geriatric thing”, go for divorced women. They’ve been through the whole thing and they know what they want. They’re probably much more mature. For singles, beware of the 30±year-old virgins. They can still be stuck in the 16-year-old, insecure, dating/possession thing. If you bone one of them, she’ll be trying to get her hooks in you just like ripping your shirt open and rubbing your chest with a fishing hat that’s loaded with lures. How’s that for an analogy???
All right, enough is enough. I cannot let a comment like that go by:-) I currently live in Silicon Valley where approximately 25% of the population is Asian and most Chinese come from Taiwan. I hope to be working in Taiwan in August.
Guys: take is from someone who has dated older, divorced, Asian and white, women. You have no idea what fun you are missing!!! Many women these days keep their bodies in fantastic shape and still have beautiful faces to match. I am currently going out with a 50 year old (Taiwanese) lady who has a body most 30 year olds would be envious of. Yes, she does work long hours but that seems to be the cultural norm and unlikely to change either here or in Taiwan. Like other posters said, she never had a life while married, but is now taking up painting and gardening. Kids are gone, house is paid for, income is good—time for some fun in life.
I think the whole key to whether or not dating an older women can work is the attitude both parties bring to the table. If you are not into having kids, not afraid to have a women pick up the tab, don’t care what other people think, enjoy people with a bit of “history”, etc., going out with an older woman is fantastic!!! And as long as the woman remembers that guys, especially younger ones, have no interest in hearing an endless litany of complaints about her ex, things can work out great. It is fun to watch a person come out of a shell and grow in ways she never thought possible when she was doing the “societal expectations” thing.
Oh, and did I mention I mention sex with someone who wants to find out about all the things she has been missing can be mind-blowing? This seems to be especially true of Asian women. Things I have been told suggest a lot of Asian guys are not terribly “creative” or “energetic.” At least when it comes to marital sex.
So if you think going out with divorced women over 40 is only for someone with a “geriatric” fixation, that’s fine by me. I will be too busy having fun to worry about what other people think.
Can’t wait to see what things are like in Taiwan.
I sincerely hope I have not offended anyone with this. My aim was to poke genial fun at some overly long-held stereotypes.
If middle-aged now means “geriatric” then many of the male posters on this board are geriatrics…
If middle-aged means “geriatric”, then many of the male posters on this board are but fossilized remains.