If it wasn’t so close to becoming a tragedy, this would have been funny.
I am waiting for a green to walk across the street last night and I catch sight of this woman aimlessly strolling toward the intersection. She seems very deep in thought and as I watch her, it starts to become obvious that she is not paying attention to the signal lights and is about to obliviously walk into a stream of oncoming traffic…
So I reach out to grab/warn her.
This woman gets so freaked out by my touch that she screams and jumps into the traffic. She is about to get mowed down by a scooter racing to get around a taxi. I reach for her again and just halt her momentum enough so the scooter just narrowly avoids her. The driver is gawking at me like I did something wrong and the woman is on the sidewalk, hands clasped to an increasingly reddening face.
Wo shi wan Taiwan.
I slapped on my best Taiwanese mock smile and headed home.
So now this woman is telling her friends about the si-lan who tried to molest her and almost got her killed. If the scooter driver hadn’t seen her and frightened off the lao-wai, she’d probably be tied up and gagged in a mountain hut somewhere by now, being ravished by a big hairy barbarian.
twenty old Taiwanese ladies dancing in the park to “All my exes live in Texas, that’s why I hang my hat in Tennessee” in the evening and shakin’ their booties to “Like a Virgin” in the morning.
…err…well…it was completely consensual…the 'scooter driver was bringing more beer and it was her brother-in-law…the bondage was something we saw in a video…no gags were used…it was closer to the beach…and she said the body hair was a sign of my super-virility…and I have no further comments.
The previous “How much can I carry on my scooter” record was held by the guy with 4 car tires. Yes, the 4th was around his neck.
But this weekend I saw a guy carrying a refridgerator on his back seat. And no, not one of those little beer fridges either. This was a full-sized deal, precariously balanced on the back seat and held in place with his non-throttling hand.
[quote=“Toe Save”]More whackiness from the mean streets of Taipei.
The previous “How much can I carry on my scooter” record was held by the guy with 4 car tires. Yes, the 4th was around his neck.
But this weekend I saw a guy carrying a refridgerator on his back seat. And no, not one of those little beer fridges either. This was a full-sized deal, precariously balanced on the back seat and held in place with his non-throttling hand.
Wonder if WuXing Jie can be called Freon Lu now?[/quote]
[quote=“Yellow Cartman”][quote=“Toe Save”]More whackiness from the mean streets of Taipei.
The previous “How much can I carry on my scooter” record was held by the guy with 4 car tires. Yes, the 4th was around his neck.
But this weekend I saw a guy carrying a refridgerator on his back seat. And no, not one of those little beer fridges either. This was a full-sized deal, precariously balanced on the back seat and held in place with his non-throttling hand.
Wonder if WuXing Jie can be called Freon Lu now?[/quote]
How I wish I were there with a video cam![/quote]
It was quite the site. Alas, it’s destined to be burned only into my and the PP’s mind’s eye for all eternity…
What’s the most y’all have seen carried on a scooter? Before you say a family of 5, I’ve seen a family of 6 with Xiao Bei in the basket. GeGe was riding a plank, hovering and bouncy-bouncying over the pavement. He was hanging on to Jie Jie with Mama and Baba sandwiching Mei Mei between them. DiDi was naturally riding the mini DiDi seat between Baba’s legs. Aeiyooooo…
In Mucha recently, I saw an immensely obese man, who appeared to be seriously deranged and living in his own world, standing on the sidewalk, and as our car paused momentarily in the traffic, he reached in his tremendous rolls of blubber, grabbed the waistband of his trousers, pulled them down to his knees and appeared to be taking a crap on the sidewalk. Fortunately, our car pulled away and I wasn’t able to observe any more.
On a different note, in my own neighborhood recently, I went to the neighborhood park that has a running track and observed a few dozen people running, walking and jogging around the track in a counterclockwise direction, and one man on the innermost lane of the track, where the traffic is heaviest, running in a clockwise direction, smack head-on into everyone else, forcing the traffic to part around him. If he was a deranged fat man who shits on sidewalks I would have understood, but this guy appeared to be a reasonably fit, ordinary and experienced jogger. Why would he do that?
Because he is smart. He knows that everyone else is going to apathetically run very slowly. And when he tries to get through the crowd saying DuiBuQi or JieGuo they will ignore him. If he comes from the front, they will cuss about him being an ass but they have to move.
I forgot to mention this from a while back…well, okay, 4 years ago…
While I was walking back Hualien from an amusement park, I saw a mother and her 7- or 8-year-old son riding on a scooter. It wouldn’t be unusual except the boy was stark naked (and had a good, even tan).
Oh and the new Watson they’ve gotten at Kuting on the corner of Roosevelt and Heping Rds. There are pictures of various women and one of them is of two women who are nude at least from the waist up with one xiaojie putting her head directly on the shoulder of the xiaojie in front of her. Meaning her breasts are pressing into the naked back of the girl in front of her.
I did a double take the first time I saw that one.
There was an earlier story about strippers at funerals. I’ve never heard of that. I guess it’s more common that I thought from this story. Freaks.[/quote]
Used to see strippers at funerals here (even in Taipei) all the time. And not only funerals. You’d see them at weddings also. Go figure.
[quote=“ImaniOU”]
Oh and the new Watson they’ve gotten at Guting on the corner of Roosevelt and Heping Rds. There are pictures of various women and one of them is of two women who are nude at least from the waist up with one xiaojie putting her head directly on the shoulder of the xiaojie in front of her. Meaning her breasts are pressing into the naked back of the girl in front of her.
I did a double take the first time I saw that one.[/quote]
I’ve seen that. I don’t think breasts are involved at all. Chests perhaps.
