Every time I’d date someone who’d either be crazy or is actually a cheater, I would have a sigh of relief, thinking I’m lucky to dodge another bullet.
It may really be difficult for you. You might still carry that pain tomorrow, the week after, next six months, no one knows how long you can recover from it (or if you’d actually recover or not). And it’s okay; everyone moves on at different paces.
But at least try to do things that might help alleviate the pain and sadness. Lots of people already suggested awesome ideas how to.
This might be cheesy, but I’m not sure if your sadness is also because you thought you finally had someone who’d share your life with, but then you found out everything was just a sham. I know some people who thought like this before.
It seems you misunderstand what blackmail is. Here is the definition:
the action, treated as a criminal offence, of demanding payment or another benefit from someone in return for not revealing compromising or damaging information about them.
Where did anyone suggested to ask anything from the guy not to reveal his cheating?
The girl will probably not be held accountable in civil court, because she did not know the guy was married. Adultery law also changed for the better. In this case there was not even adultery involved.
I take you didn’t have sex with a grain of salt. Don’t judge him, life is complicated. Did you have good time in the end ?
We don’t really know where he stands with his wife. Maybe they are in process of divorce? He told you openly he doesn’t want kids. And he invested a lot of time in you too.
It seems his relation with wife is cold, and guy seeks emotional needs somewhere else.
Definitely when you want kids don’t waste time with someone who doesn’t want them. Keep in mind a lot guys, especially successful and handsome are seeing mutliple girls or are married. An experienced man isn’t monogamous from get go, but he validate person first. Same goes for hot women.
A lot of people aren’t monogamous. Majority of them will be on dating app. You can always better validate person trough your social circle. So join many different clubs and activities.
Sure it could. For some people, getting that anger out and that frustration is cathartic. The OP is clearly coming to this website seeking rationality, and from a rational sense there’s no point in doing this…but from an emotional sense there’s plenty of times where this would make you feel better.
As for seeking some revenge…no the guy wouldn’t break down. But if you let him know you know, well then, he’s going to have a little bit of fear and trepidation to deal with. Every guy and situation is different, but there’s a good chance it will weigh on his mind at least a little bit.
All of that said, I’m hoping to find out that the guy has a twin brother and he’s just staying with them while he travels around the world.
Breakups are tough. I came to taiwan after my ex. she is a taiwanese and we were together for a year. Then slowly she started getting angry everytime we meet, try to make me distant and getting annoyed by everything i would say and easily get angry. I couldnt understand why at first but eventually realise that she wanted a breakup but wanted me to be the who left her. Eventually we would break up and later i come to realise from a common friend that she cheated on me while she was with me and after breaking up with me, she married a guy within a month.
Also one time i was dating this girl who rejected me. I was so into her that i just couldnt let go of her. I would call her eveeyday even though she blocked me and i knew that. I would hang out outside her office hoping i would see her eventually (Stalker alert). Thankfully we never met again
So yeah. breakups are tough. Its easier for us to give u plenty of suggestions but i can understand where you are right now and ots not easier for you. Do what u wanna do. There is no one way and we all do weird crazy stuff when our heart is healing. Everyone moves on in their own way and you will too.
Sure, it could. It could also make her feel worse off if he’s a dick about it, or abusive, or super sweet. Maybe it sucks her back in. Maybe he tells sweet little lies and makes her feel bad for him. He’s the one checked out, and she’s the one still emotionally invested.
Like is tough enough without bumping into people like this. I can only suggest to sit down and think carefully about your own method for moving forward. While I have not faced this level of deception I decided to just drop my bad feelings (as much as I could) towards the other party. Partly because when in love I have made my own set of mistakes which hurt (even though not intentionally) another party. You need to be at peace with yourself. Even if you scold him, expose his actions to his family, etc…will that bring you peace?
I think the key point is how you move forward with regards to other relationships. Closing your heart…keeping your heart open? More cautious and more experienced? Perhaps like me one day you will be grateful for the experiences which might lead you to something great in the future. I became grateful for my experiences…even though I had my doubts I would survive at times…
Right. But probably more likely to be negative than positive, given that he’s out while she’s still in emotionally. So why fuck around with a bad situation rather than letting it go?
If the OP confronts the guy, the guy will just lie or whatever. If she tells the wife, the guy gets defensive and may even do something he’s gonna regret. Best course of action is to walk.
