New European Language


#1

Changes to the English Language ===============================
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known as “Euro-English”. In the first year, ‘s’ will replace the soft ‘c’. Sertainly,this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard ‘c’ will be dropped in favor of the ‘k’. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome ‘ph’ will be replased with the ‘f’. This will make words like ‘fotograf’ 20% shorter! In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent ‘e’ in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing ‘th’ with ‘z’ and ‘w’ wiz ‘v’. During ze fifz year ze unesesary ‘o’ kan be dropd from vords kontaining ‘ou’ and similar changes vud of kurs be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After ze fifz yer ve vil hav a rali sensibl ritn styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evriun vil find it ezi tu undrstand ech ozer. Zen Z Drem Vil Finali Kum Tru!!


#2

This old saw had been around for many, many years before it was posted here a year or two ago. I guess the Internet came late to Oz. Time for a vegemite sandwich!


#3

Sounds like the deal with the road signs here. Language mastermind Yu
[right] was all thumbs up about this sign he hung
http://jidanni.org/lang/pinyin/images/19980718shifu_rd.jpg
Little did we know that this was part of a multi year scheme,
so it must be rehung with his latest version.

The article reminds me of the “jive” and “kraut” filters.


#4

Wolf,
I get the feeling your haveing a dig at the backwardness of Oz! The internet is one of things that’s just out there. It nether comes nor goes. As for being modern and up to date with technology we’ve had computers for at least two years and telephones for about the last ten! (We’re even developing mobile/cell phones - I’ll give you the scoop as soon as they hit the market!)


#5

And our government said, it could only be a matter of months before they take those damn cows out of the 711’s. Thank god, I could never work out pulling what testicle would give me the low fat milk. Can’t wait.