I’ve just blown a fuse. I’m in Taipei, my wife and kid are with the family in Kaohsiung. They’ve just got back from a trip into town… Big Bro let slip that it was by scooter.
I’m absolutely livid… It’s peasants and illiterate fuckwits that take their kids around by scooter, not intelligent people, not my family. Amah was in a scooter accident and almost died a few years back, and now she’s taking my son out on scooter expeditions. I’ve just been talking to my older son, and he says she takes the little one out on the scooter quite often when they’re visiting.
It was happening before, years ago, with our older son. I thought I’d put a stop to it, I thought they understood it was unacceptable, but of course really that means unacceptable to ME, and perfectly OK as long as I don’t find out. And that, I think, is my wife’s take too.
To convince my wife that the behaviour is unacceptable because of the risk I think won’t work. Judging from our “chat” on the phone just now, I think even “respect for my opinion” won’t work as a motivating force. It’s easy to take a taxi, and we can afford it, but somehow the convenience of scooter transport outweighs ALL other considerations.
I have to accompany them on every visit down south and monitor the transport arrangements?
Perhaps I’m blowing it all out of proportion, and helmet-free travel is not as risky as it seems. Everything in life entails a risk. What do you think? Don’t just lurk and walk on by on this one please. This is Taiwan crazy, up close and personal.
I agree and to go one up, if that were me and I found out that the family had been lying to me in not telling me about this, then I would threaten to never allow them to be be with my child unless attended at all times by a trusted person. which would seriously reduce any time they could spend together. I am in a fortunate situation however that my wife’s family can’t ride scooters, asid from the bumwit of an eldest son who happily ferries his kid around with no helmet. I even had a rant at him about his stupid and thoughtless, careless, bad parenting behavior, but he did the old Taiwanese shuffle, a laugh here, a giggle there and then carries on until this day. I just hope I never have to tell him “I told you so”, but mark my words if anything happened I would make him feel like the arse hole he is for the rest of his life.
Tell her that foreigners aren’t lucky like Taiwanese, and your kid is half-foreign. Really, logic is going to do you no good in this argument, because it is not logical. Fight fire with fire and use antilogic instead.
the boy is a year and a half, and i’ve felt pressure from the whole family to let him out on a scooter as well.
NBW as my old man used to say (no bloody way). i’d consider a two minute ride to the park etc. with a helmet (although that’s walking distance). but as there’s no helmet yet, there’s no riding (to my knowledge). serious shyte would fly if/when i found out, as i’ve made it very clear during the last 1.5 years that the car seat gets used every time we’re in the car - even when people are running late.
i just wanna bash people who don’t put a hat on their kids …
It is too dangerous, especially without a helmet, and you’re right to be angry, but my experience with older people in Taiwan is that you will never be able to convince them not to do something.
I completely understand your shock and anger. What your wife’s family has done is indefensible. If I were you, I would forbid any further contact with them for as long as it takes for them to get the message - forever if necessary. No ifs or buts. End of.
I feel like Mr. Safety when I go down south. I can’t believe that nobody wears seat belts (especially in the back seat), little kids are never in car seats, and more than 50% of people driving around town are not wearing helmets. In part, I know it’s because it’s rural, but I do know that it took a lot for Americans to wise up to buckling up and wearing helmets.
AFAIK, NIH pays for everyone regardless of safety violations and there are few if any public safety announcements. I don’t see that there’s any incentive for people to behave any safer.
Our son has been scooter bound since he was two or so. Always has worn a helmet and has recently graduated to sitting on the back.
You realise of course that many people have only one car and the car usually leaves with the breadwinner. What’s the other supposed to do? Take a bus (time consuming); take a taxi (expensive); not go (starve or be houselocked)?
Not everyone on a scooter, or in a car, or on a big bike is incompetent. Maybe you’re pissed because they’ve been lying to you. I know I would be.
Instead of drawing posters for AIDS prevention in schools, they shoud be making posters of young accident victims and having wheelchair riding people who got theit riding unsafely and or without a helmet talk to these kids. With the amazing boredom in school the kids would soak the message right up.
I’m still surprised in Taipei city alone how many adults take kids on scooters without helmets. There is no excuse that justfies it either. They are not expensive. They come in all sizes. And it doesn’t take too much time to put one on even just to go a few blocks.
It really steams me when cops let people get away with it, driving right by them, while instead they focus on scooters that have made a right on a red light.
While waiting at lights, and locals drive up on scooter with helmetless kids, I often think about politely asking ‘do you love your child?’, and then when they obviously reply ‘yes’, I say ‘then you should buy them a helmet’, but I suspect it’s largely pointless to point out the obvious to them if they haven’t figured it out themselves already.
And yes, graphic accident photos in classrooms would be a good way to hammer it home.
smithsgj -
You are not blowing this out of proportions. Your main concern is for the safety of your children. Family opinion be darned - DO WHAT IS NECESSARY TO KEEP YOUR CHILDREN SAFE.
I am amazed everyday when I pick our child up from his school and see other children with no helmets on.
Thankfully I am seeing this less every year, but even 1 is too many. I have mentioned it to the Principal and this has helped I think. He has put posters up showing helmet safety. I would like to see him personally speaking to the parents that continue to do the ‘no helmet’ thing.
And that is exactly what I did. My in-laws live in Tainan, same situation as the op, I told them 4 times not to do it, first time I caught them doing it, he was 9 months old, on a motobike, grampa driving and shewing Binglang, grandma in the back holding the baby, nobody had a helmet, i was pist beyond believed, they’re answer? “Boh A kin!!”
Anyways, my son is 9 years old now and the last time he went to Tainan was 7 years ago.
The in-laws thought I overreacted, and I don’t understand Chinese culture!
Smithsgj, that’s a tough one. If I were in your situation I’d be really concerned as well. I don’t know what I’d do but I think that I probably would stop unsupervised visits down south, at least for a while.
But there’s another point that people seem not to be aware of. Wearing a cheap helmet is not much better than wearing no helmet at all. You have to spend a couple of thousand NT at least to get something that offers some protection.
if you can’t get the importance of helmet safety through to the adults, you might still have a chance with the kids. Do they not have any helmets at your relative’s house? teach your kids about helmet safety and send them away with helmets that you have provided. Maybe you can even bribe them, if they have proof of car rides they get something, proof of wearing a helmet they get something. I don’t know, just some thoughts if there is no way to stop the visits.
buy a gun, a revolver, tell you wife and inlaws that from now on every day you’re going to put one bullet in the chamber, spin it, then point it at your mother in law and pull the trigger… see if they feel as comfortable with you playing with their lives and they are playing with the life of your son…
Would it be an idea to buy a helmet for your son, insist he brings it when visiting the relatives, and teach him to never accept a ride without his helmet?
[quote=“ratbrain”]Do they not have any helmets at your relative’s house?[/quote]My point is that even if they did, they are probably not the kind of helmet which would offer any real protection. As I said, you need to spend at least a couple of thousand NT to get something alright.
[quote=“ratbrain”]teach your kids about helmet safety and send them away with helmets that you have provided.[/quote]This is a good suggestion, though of course the kids have to be old enough to take responsibility for themselves in this way.
[quote=“plasmatron”]buy a gun, a revolver, tell you wife and inlaws that from now on every day you’re going to put one bullet in the chamber, spin it, then point it at your mother in law and pull the trigger… [/quote]Depending on the MIL, an automatic can be substituted.
Remember what I said about logic folks. No matter how good they are at math, or even if they have studied statistics, most all Taiwanese believe with equal conviction that they will win the lottery, and will not be injured or killed in a road traffic accident. The use of logic in an argument on this subject is like bringing a chocolate eclair to a gunfight.
Our son has been scooter bound since he was two or so. Always has worn a helmet and has recently graduated to sitting on the back.
You realise of course that many people have only one car and the car usually leaves with the breadwinner. What’s the other supposed to do? Take a bus (time consuming); take a taxi (expensive); not go (starve or be houselocked)?
Not everyone on a scooter, or in a car, or on a big bike is incompetent. Maybe you’re pissed because they’ve been lying to you. I know I would be.
Instead of drawing posters for AIDS prevention in schools, they shoud be making posters of young accident victims and having wheelchair riding people who got theit riding unsafely and or without a helmet talk to these kids. With the amazing boredom in school the kids would soak the message right up.[/quote]
I utterly disagree, should someone take a more time consuming method of safer transport? “YES”! Perhaps not everyone on a bike is incompetent, but I guarantee that at least 90% of other road users are, and I would bet every penny that at least that figure of people could not tell me the safety regulations regarding traffic, stopping distances, and regular reccomended vehicle mantainence schedules.
Lucky you, he has never been in a hit and run or had his neck broken in a slight front collision. Could you imagine how damned guilty you might feel if by your own or soemone elses fault you child was killed whilst standing on the front of weakly holding onto the back of your motorcycle? Assuming you feel guilt of course.
Actually I am aiming that rant at anyone that ferries their children around on a motorcycle. Why is it law in Taiwan that a child must sit in a car seat, yet nothing is ever siad about children sitting or standing on a motorcycle? And don’t try and argue that it’s because it’s just as safe please.
Look at the OP’s first sentence guys. It says nothing about not wearing a helmet. Look at my posts. Does it say anywhere that’s it’s ok to not have a helmet on?
I realize the title says, “NO helmet” but hey, that was not what the OP wrote in his post.