My husband and I moved into our apartment 3 months ago. 2 days after we moved in, the neighbor stuck a note on the door saying our footsteps were so loud he could tell where in the apartment we were “everyday”, even though it had only been 2 days and we are sideways neighbors, not top bottom. So I started tiptoeing at nighttime.
A few weeks later, it was Friday at 5pm, my husband and I were singing, we didn’t play music, we were just singing while putting on our shoes to get out so it was only a few minutes. However, we received a loud banging on the wall. My husband banged the wall back so the neighbor came and apologized and explained that he was napping, we also apologized for banging the wall. Everything was quiet and peaceful, no more complaints, until now.
Sunday at 3pm. We were watching a video and we laughed, I admit my husband’s laugh can be quite loud, but the video was not longer than a couple minutes as it was a youtube short, so it wasn’t prolonged laughter. Another loud banging on the wall, maybe about 6 times. We immediately shut up and went to take a nap.
I woke up and found that the neighbor had asked the rental manager for our contact information, but because I don’t speak Chinese, the manager gave them my cousin’s number even though that’s an emergency contact.
Shouldn’t the manager attempt to liaise between me and the neighbor before giving out other people’s personal information? Also, the contract says to be quiet after 11pm but is it culturally unacceptable to be loud during daytime here? I’m feeling pretty bad for disturbing the neighbor but I feel like 10 seconds of laughter during daytime is not the end of the world. What is considered acceptable here in terms of neighborly noises?
You must have really thin walls. Do you guys live in a cheaper place, or an apartment with illegal partitions? If you live in a proper apartment then your walls should be concrete, and you wouldn’t hear your neighbor banging on it (but you might still hear him talking if he is loud).
Noise during the day is usually tolerated, but even if you think he is being unreasonable you shouldn’t challenge him.
To be neighborly, you can consider apologizing (maybe blame the thin walls) and be extra polite and apologetic. Tell him to feel free to bang on the wall whenever you guys are too loud, to let you know. Maybe bring some fruits as a gift. The more polite you are, the more likely he will think twice before banging.
If it continues to be a big issue, you might even consider rearranging your furniture so you are sitting/laying as far away from that wall as possible.
In regards to giving out your cousin’s phone number, privacy isn’t really a thing here. Most people here wouldn’t really consider that a breach of privacy.
You’ve entered a world of hell. Any attempt at compromise, communication or truce can backfire on you easily but try as hard as you can to find some type of compromise and changing of certain behaviors. It won’t always work, but good luck.
As long as you’re not being unreasonably noisy jerks, you have to enjoy living in your apartment and go about your lives too, just like anyone else. You neighbor could be really sensitive to noise and maybe his manner with previous neighbors has helped him keep it quiet. But what you’re described doesn’t sound like unreasonable noise. Don’t go out of your way to appease him if you’re not out of line.
Reading experiences like this makes me grateful that I’ve never had an unreasonable neighbor in my 15 years living here . Best of luck working this out.
You could be outside revving your tuned scooter making more noise than an airplane and your neighbour probably won’t even notice it. It makes you wonder.
He will keep doing this until you guys move. He has no right to tell you anything. Are all the wall concrete or is a big apartment with divisions? If is a big apartment with divisions I would move.
I’d get the apartment manager to intervene for you and not approach the guy yourself. It’s good to have an intermediary at times in cases like this, to try to preserve the phony ‘face’ culture. If that fails you can find out if there is a neighborhood LiZhang, usually a community leader to run point if needed. Or even get your landlord involved.
you just have a jerk neighbour.
i have also had some of them. one of them told me my son (2 years old at the time) was dragging chairs on the floor and it troubles him.
I lived on the 5th floor, he lived on the 3rd floor… When i pointed that point he said the 4th floor apartment was vacant, hence it had to be coming from our apartment.
UPDATE:
The rental manager told us that we need to improve our behavior on our laughing. Is there any way I can get out of this contract with the full deposit back? Would I have any leg to stand on if I used the excuse that they’re enforcing quiet times during the day?
You aren’t breaking any part of the contract. Just don’t get involved with anyone, smile and act innocent.
Nothing will happen and you can carry on living there OR there’ll be a fuss and you’ll most likely be offered favorable conditions (return of deposit) to move.
We avoid talking in the kitchen because that’s closest to the shared wall and we limit nighttime conversation and laughter to the room farthest away from the wall and keep the door closed. I am a bit afraid to challenge him because after the 3pm incident, somebody was hitting on the metal bars/cage thing on our window, like metal clanging noise. I don’t know if it was the neighbor or not, but it felt a bit aggressive.
. Best of luck working this out.