Outside of a 711 I got chatted up by a sweet guy- or I thought he was sweet at first. The two minute conversation ended with “You like make the sex with Taiwan man?” When I stood in stunned silence he said “You like make the sex with me, maybe?”
Another guy at a bar, after buying me a beer and five minutes of conversation (thank you very much) asked me if his apartment could borrow me. Just for one night. When I said no he said “But can my apartment borrow you for an hour?”
But those were the only two incidents, in two years here, that made me think that people viewed me as an “inveterate nymphomaniac sluts who fuck like most people breathe.”
It’s not as bad as Malaysia. Guys (Malays and Indians only) made kissing noises when I walked past, and I was offered $100 for sex with a very strange old man. O.O; Plus I had one guy tell me in the McDonald’s that he was crazy about me, and when I told him I was married (lie!) he got very upset and asked how I was going to accommodate him if I was married?
I was only there for a day @@;
You mean like “You eat too much. You should eat less meat, eat more fruit and vegetables, and get more exercise.”? (Oooh, as if I just learned something new! Woohoo!)
Don’t you just loooove unsolicited health advice from strangers? I just want to say to them, “Hey, you ain’t my wife or momma.” :raspberry:
Same has happened to me in Malaysia. And I’m a guy. In one case 2 years ago I walked up to a bus information kiosk, and the Indian guy offered to sleep with me. Uhhh… no. Sorry, I don’t swing that way. Please recalibrate your gaydar.
[quote]divea wrote:
Wrong on second count too, they don’t just ASK you, they Tell you why you are fat!
You mean like “You eat too much. You should eat less meat, eat more fruit and vegetables, and get more exercise.”? (Oooh, as if I just learned something new! Woohoo!)
Don’t you just loooove unsolicited health advice from strangers? I just want to say to them, “Hey, you ain’t my wife or momma.” [/quote]
“You’re quite fat since you had child no. 2.”
“Yes, I haven’t had much chance to exercise.”
“No, you eat too many potatoes. Westerners eat too many potatoes. You need to stop.”
“I don’t really eat potatoes.”
“Yes, you do. Too many, that’s why you are fat…”
[quote]NonTocareLeTete wrote:
asiababy wrote:
It’s the ones that refuse to believe anything I tell them that make me lose patience. You know, when they ask a question, you tell them an answer, and they say, no, it’s not like that, even though it’s about you.
I get this all the time and it drives me nuts. One such memorable conversation, on a bad day:
Him: Do you surf in the winter?
Me: Yes, a couple of times a week.
Him: But the waves are larger in the winter. It is too dangerous for you to surf.
Me: If it’s dangerous, I don’t go out, but the waves are rarely that big.
Him: But it is too cold to surf in the winter.
Me: Well, I wear a wetsuit, and if it’s really cold, a hood for my head and booties for my feet.
Him: But even with a wetsuit, it is too cold-
Me: Look, dude, do you think I’m lying to you?
Him: uh…
Me: If you respond to something I say with “but” and a reason why what I said can’t be true, it sounds like you think I’m lying to you.
Him: No it doesn’t.
Me: Yes it does. To a native English speaker, that’s how it sounds.
Him: No it doesn’t.
He’s an English teacher at my school, and his English is really advanced, but I have a feeling this style of conversation must be acceptable in Chinese and he’s just carrying it over. Another fav quote from said guy, when I was trying to scoot my scooter to get it out of a crowded parking lot-
“You cannot move the scooter. You lack the strength, because you are a woman.”
I about showed him how much strength a woman can have right there. One of these days, that man’s going to get hurt.[/quote]
“Are you that Brazilian Christian that moved into the house up the hill?”
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. You are the mother from Brazil, you just moved here.”
“No, I’m not from Brazil. I’m not from this area.”
“Yes, you are.”
“No, I’m not.”
“YES, YOU ARE.”
“Ok, um, yes, I am.”
“Told you.”
What’s wrong with that, exactly? “You want make sexytime with me?” I use that all the time. I got it out of a movie, so you KNOW its a kosher move. There again, I haven’t had sex with another person since 1992.
The asking of questions shows that they care as does their expressions of concern when you answer in ways that fly in the face of folk wisdom. You should be more worried when people don’t ask you questions, rebut your answers, or comment in your appearance.
It means they don’t like you.
[quote=“Feiren”]The asking of questions shows that they care as does their expressions of concern when you answer in ways that fly in the face of folk wisdom. You should be more worried when people don’t ask you questions, rebut your answers, or comment in your appearance.
It means they don’t like you.[/quote]
Quoted for truth.
[quote=“NonTocareLeTete”]
I get this all the time and it drives me nuts. One such memorable conversation, on a bad day:
.[/quote]
A trick to cut such “conversations” short is to say “waiguoren ti-zi buyiyang” which means “the physical characteristics/essence/makeup of foreigners is different (from Chinese people).” A real time saver.
I used to wonder about that myself, as guys often get the “shuai ge” comment. But now I notice they do it with all younger looking guys, including local lads. I think it’s more “age relevant” than anything else, as they don’t call older gents “shuai ge”. 
Kinda like this, right? 
I’ve also had guys here ask me about “Western/foreign women” and their “questionable morals”. I like to tell them not to believe what they see in movies, most “western” women are highly conservative Christian types who tend to remain virgins saving themselves for their wedding nights. It’s our culture, I tell them. Priceless to see the disappointment in their faces.
One guy even said, “Ah! So that’s why foreign guys like to come to Taiwan, right?” :roflmao:
[quote=“the chief”][quote=“Charlie Jack”]
Yes is the name of a British rock group that flourished in the '60s, '70s, and '80s. “Roundabout,” “Close to the Edge,”, and “Owner of a Lonely Heart” were three of their songs. Fragile and Drama were albums of theirs.
“Calling you French is a HUGE compliment,” etc., refers to the tendency to assume a foreigner is an American. Urodacus is Australian, so I imagine he has encountered that sort of thing a lot.
The comment about “pictures” and “a valid judgment” was light-hearted teasing, in reference to Taiwanese remarking how pretty you are.
“You’ll soon get the hang of insults if you wait around here long enough” means we sometimes say unpleasant things to each other here on the board.
They were just kidding around.[/quote]
Nicely done, Chuck. :bravo:
I’ll talk to Mr. Man and Señor Huevo about getting you a nice Forumosa blazer for when you give the new guys the tour.
Like Babs.
Or is it Mandy?
I can never keep them straight.[/quote]
Apologies. I sure hope I didn’t dilute the board’s “Hardlegs Only” flavor.
I used to wonder about that myself, as guys often get the “shuai ge” comment. But now I notice they do it with all younger looking guys, including local lads. I think it’s more “age relevant” than anything else, as they don’t call older gents “shuai ge”.
Kinda like this, right?
I’ve also had guys here ask me about “Western/foreign women” and their “questionable morals”. I like to tell them not to believe what they see in movies, most “western” women are highly conservative Christian types who tend to remain virgins saving themselves for their wedding nights. It’s our culture, I tell them. Priceless to see the disappointment in their faces.
One guy even said, “Ah! So that’s why foreign guys like to come to Taiwan, right?” :roflmao:[/quote]
Damn that was a good post ha ha. The last line was awesome and made me chuckle like chucky. Thanks 
What I want to know is why everyone in America thinks I’m German.
It’s the dog avatar.
[quote=“tsukinodeynatsu”]Nope, I still get told: Oh, you Westerner’s are more ‘open’, right? knowing look
Still trying to find an appropriate answer. I think the next one will be ‘Well, we stop being scared of the opposite sex when we’re around 10, but we don’t go around fucking everybody, no.’[/quote]
"“We’re certainly more mature about things”
“What do you mean?”
“Poo Poo.”
“Ha! That’s so funny. Poo Poo. Hahaha. What do you mean ‘more mature?’”
I aim to please. 