[quote=“derekoby”]Maybe I should start looking for men~~ be a gay
so I don’t need to deal with xxxx girls. 
That is a good idea, isn’t it?[/quote]
Four-x girls?! God only knows what kind of depravity that involves, you sick pervert.
[quote=“derekoby”]3.I totally undertand what’s the point you are talking about. But here is the situation that everyone will have. Can you leave your gf home and to hang out with your friends? You might allowed to do that for couple times, but not for all the time. Therefore, she will wants to go as well, Can you tell her not to go b/c she won’t understand? That will hurt her even more. There are many times that my friends whom only speak English invited me for dinner, and I didn’t go b/c I don’t wanna leave my gf home and only hang out with my friends. After a few invitation, there’s no calls anymore~~ That also end up to the question: Friends ? or Girlfriend?
- I do know this point. So I only invite and join the fun activities with my friends, not only the talking talking conversation. I tried to teach her some English words, but… it’s not working. I know it’s really difficult for a person to learn the language that she doesn’t interest at all. I know the process of learning English, I am still learning as well. No one is perfect, even the native English speaker is still learning. Even I am a Chinese, I am still learning my native language. I am still trying to make her interested in English. Still working on it, and having some problems. That’s why I am here to write this topic and just wanna get some advice. Who knows it ended up to " just wanna get some attention" ??? What’s that about?? I don’t get anything from your attention, right?[/quote]
I think you’re missing the point of what I was getting at… trying to teach her English words is forcing your hobby/lifestyle on her with no compromise involved. If there is a group of people together with some who only speak English, some who only speak Chinese and you who speak both, it shouldn’t be a huge problem for you to bridge the gap, right? Why can’t you speak 1/2 Chinese and 1/2 English so she doesn’t feel like you’re not giving her any attention at all? If you already do so, good for you - and she’s a moaning cow - but I have a very strong suspicion that you are dragging her along to these gatherings and speaking almost exclusively English.
My gf is Taiwanese and doesn’t speak a word of English but somehow it works out okay. English is still my first language and sometimes it’s nice to chill out with my big-nose pals - and yeh, if the gf comes along she looks bored stiff after 5 minutes. I try to appreciate that she’s bored and take her to do something nice afterwards that she enjoys. And she gets her own back by dragging me along with groups who speak nothing but Taiwanese. I’m not sure how long it would last if I gave her the ‘I wanna speak English, deal with it’ treatment.
Sometimes she wants to hang out with Taiwanese friends on her own. Sometimes I want to hang out with English friends on my own. No big deal, everyone’s happy. Can I leave my gf home while I go out with friends? Within reason, yes. I think a certain degree of separation is essential to any relationship. I don’t understand why it has to be so black-and-white about staying at home like hermits or never taking your gf anywhere?
Err… nice sentiment but how are you changing yourself for her? Seems like the change all rests on her shoulders.
Anyway, you asked for advice, and here’s the advice that everyone seems to be giving… if you don’t like her, leave her. It’s Just That Simple ™. Another satisfied Forumosa customer.
when people get along well everything falls into place easily.
When people are basically mis-matched. Things will just be rough.
At the end of the day. ONe always has to weigh the relationship. Is it overall better with her or without her. If its better without her? Just let her slip away. Dont chase her and let her go find someone more suitable to her concepts, ideas, etc.
shes japanese oriented and you are american oriented. That could be a problem.
getting along wiht each other is THE most important thing for two people.
If that were true you wouldn’t be having these problems in the first place.
Masturbation: sex with someone you love. 
Eh, I understand what you’re saying, but look at it from the flipside. In the U.S. I know lots of westbound Asians who consider themselves very American, but the fact of the matter is that most will never be seen as such by U.S. natives. There always seems to be an unavoidable line drawn between my ABT friends and Taiwanese immigrants.
It’s the same as you coming here and acting very Taiwanese, but the natives shutting you out when the fam is called home for dinner. Cultural difference, discrimination, whatever you want to call it, I have no idea.
I’m an ABT and as American as they come. Very much a twinkie. But I also really enjoy the Taiwanese lifestyle, so here I am, speaking Chinese/Taiwanese and eating duck tongues. Still, I have no expectations of ever being considered “Taiwanese.”
[quote]I will answer your question first, I am a Taiwanese, but have part of american mind in my heart. Does that make any sence? Just like what you said as above, you eat dan bing, go to KTV and so on. but you are still not a Taiwanese. Same here.
I eat Salads, I love cheese, I love pizza, and so on. Am I an American? nope~ I am still a Taiwanese. Here I am facing a problem is If I wanna go to Chilli’s, My girlfriend hates it. She doesn’t like to eat pizza, she doesn’t like the way I wear Abercrobie & Fitch T-shirt with American Eagle Short, plus the running shoes with no showing socks. IT’s pretty normal looking in the states. but she won’t accept it.
for example, If she is doing something that I disagree, but she still got the decission and all I can do is tell her " fine"~~~~~ She would say, what does that mean? why don’t you say that in Chinese? Dude~ I really don’t know what words in Taiwanese would explain exactly the feeling and meaning as " FINE!"
[/quote]
“Hao” won’t cut it? 
Hey wait, are you one of those prats who speaks every 6th word in english at the top of your voice so everyone will know how sophisticated and westernized you’ve become? People hate people like you. Here’s what your counterpart in america might look like.
My Roommate Thinks He’s Japanese
This board is like the world in the way. Some folks say any old thing, some give good advice, some give shit advice and some will just give you shit and no advice. As in the world, read it all, sift it in your mind, take it all with a pinch of salt and decide what YOU want to do with it. Most people here, I think, are sincere and willing to be friendly and helpful.
Chin up.
[quote=“llary”]My gf is Taiwanese and doesn’t speak a word of English but somehow it works out okay. English is still my first language and sometimes it’s nice to chill out with my big-nose pals - and yeh, if the gf comes along she looks bored stiff after 5 minutes. I try to appreciate that she’s bored and take her to do something nice afterwards that she enjoys. And she gets her own back by dragging me along with groups who speak nothing but Taiwanese. I’m not sure how long it would last if I gave her the ‘I wanna speak English, deal with it’ treatment.
Sometimes she wants to hang out with Taiwanese friends on her own. Sometimes I want to hang out with English friends on my own. No big deal, everyone’s happy. Can I leave my gf home while I go out with friends? Within reason, yes. I think a certain degree of separation is essential to any relationship. I don’t understand why it has to be so black-and-white about staying at home like hermits or never taking your gf anywhere?[/quote]
Seems somewhat similiar to my situation. However, I try to include her by telling her what we’re talking about so she at least knows what’s going on. Sure, she looks bored sometimes, but as with Ilary, so do I when in a situation with her where only Taiwanese is spoken. Mostly it isn’t a big deal. Try to find a middle ground. It doesn’t have to be an either or kind of situation.
Personally I don’t think this is a big problem. Learning English is your hobby. Not all couples share the same hobby.
Just like some Taiwanese girls love shopping as a hobby. I hate shopping. Sure I’ll go once and a while. But if the girl expects me to go shopping with her and her friends all the time, I would think she was crazy.
If you break up over this issue, it probably wasn’t meant to be.
[quote=“beautifulspam”]
“Hao” won’t cut it?
Hey wait, are you one of those prats who speaks every 6th word in English at the top of your voice so everyone will know how sophisticated and westernized you’ve become? People hate people like you. Here’s what your countertype in america might look like.
My Roommate Thinks He’s Japanese
dir.salon.com/story/mwt/col/tenn … index.html[/quote]
I hate those people. I hate them I hate them I do.
And also the abuse of certain English words in odd context. Like…“sense” and “fancy”.
Drives me nuts at work.
There used to be this slappable female on the desk opposite with that Minnie Mouse pitched voice (you know? Dui ahhhhhhhhhhh! Everyone’s jenju naicha within a five desk radius curdles.). ‘他們吃lunch嗎？’
[quote=“derekoby”]I have a Taiwanese girlfriend now, I thought I would do pretty good with her. But actually, I think there are something I really don’t know what to do with it?
I am a Taiwanese guy, but I have lived in America for 6 years and have a lot of American friends there and here. I am so used to speak Chinese with some English key words with friends, and everyone can understand, or just speak English instead of Chinese. it’s easier than speaking Chinese. but my girlfriend don’t understand it, she gets mad at me everytime when I say sometihng in English. Therefore, I can’t hang out with my American friends in Taiwan. I wanna have my girlfriend to hang out with my friends as well, but she can only hang out with Taiwanese.
There are big difference between me and her, especially I am more into American culture than Taiwanese, but she’s not. I love to have my life in American way, but she’s not. Shell I keep going with her? specially I really don’t like girls with skinny bones and wear really Japanese way, sorry~ no offence.
WHAT CAN I DO???[/quote]
Break up with her. It is very easy.
Hiya,
I just join forumosa today. I spent over 10 years in the US and just got back to Taipei 2 wks ago. Thus, your discussion pulls my attention b/c i might face the same difficulties with future BF (i might find)??
To be honest, not trying to be snobby or anything, bt indeed i forgot quite a lot of chinese words already. I am in the same boat as you that sometimes i speak english uncontrolablely. …
So, so, tell me, did u really break up with your sweet heart b/c of the language problems?? If u did, i have to rush myself back to my chinese speaking mode. Hehe, …
Naw. With the amount of us who ARE foreign who can have happy relationships with locals, I am sure that someone who only lived in a foreign country should be fine. I somewhat doubt language is a real problem considering that many of us have relationships in Chinese who aren’t native Chinese speakers. I think the OP was just being difficult with his SO. If you are willing to have patience with yours you shouldn’t have this problem.
A foreign langauge that you don’t speak particularly well periodically overpowers the native tongue you’ve been speaking since you were 2 years old? And this is beyond your control?
English isn’t a langauge after all, rather something more akin to a viral meme.
To those of you with a SO that doesn’t share your first language. Do you find it difficult to connect mentally with a person that can’t speak your language very well?(assuming they can’t) I know many people that date Taiwan girls and speak chinese quite well. Doesn’t seem like it would be enough for me. For me, just being able to communicate isn’t enough, I need mental stimulation too. I find it difficult to have an interesting conversation, or enjoy humour with Taiwanese girls. The language barrier combined with the cultural differences…
Yeah, that’s tough. But I think if you’re Right for each other, it can work. Dragonbabe and I have a language barrier, cultural barrier, and age barrier. Let’s not get into the weight barrier. 
But we get along great. 
It helps that our language barriers aren’t high (her English is excellent). The culture barrier is there. I never know what TV star or government official she’s talking about, and she doesn’t know the ones I babble about, but we’re both interested in listening and learning. Perhaps that’s the key? Interest in listening, and in learning to overcome the barriers?
It was easy. I just quit thinking.
That’s exactly fucking right.
Most barriers exist only in the mind.
Fuckin’ A, bob.
WT,
My girl and I could barely speak each other’s language when we started dating. But, we were right for each other. She loves to laugh… I mean, laugh really good… doubled over, crouching down, tears rolling from the eyes, from the soul good. And I love to make her laugh.
But, sure, she didn’t usually ‘get’ the old jokes I knew from home. I had to make my own jokes. Had to find the humor in ordinary situations that we shared. Humor is based on culture… so we made our own, intimate culture… and she ‘gets’ all my stupid jokes.