[quote=“songzzz”]5. The assumption of “waiguoren” to be either white or black. Japanese, Korean, Indian, Malaysian, Nepalese… are not “waiguoren”.
[/quote]
This one bothers me too. It isn’t logically viable to lump all non-Taiwanese into one group. When people ask me questions prefaced with “Nimen waiguoren…” (You foreigners…), I sometimes respond with “I can’t speak for Japanese, Korean, Mexican, or Thai people, but I can tell you how a 35 year old man from Arizona named Tomas would respond.”
Most of them don’t get it.
Sometimes when I’m in the mood for a goof, I’ll give some crazy answer. Usually, they believe me.
[quote=“songzzz”]1. Freeway, they were not taught to “keep right, unless overtaking”.
[/quote]
I didn’t think they were taught to drive at all. I don’t count those silly little obstacle courses. which leads onto another pet peeve… they think those obstacle courses are a good test of driving ability!
Slightly of topic but I have been thinking of a game show concept that would involve getting taxi drivers from around the world to take driving test from different countries. You could ask them up front how much tuition they thought they would need to pass each test. I would stake my house (if I owned one) on the Taiwanese saying they needed no tuition (hey if I can drive in Taiwan I can drive anywhere attitude) and then failing the UK test a good few times.
It also doesn’t help having two maximun speed limits. Who wants to drive in the lane where you are only allowed to do 90 kph. If they had different minimum speed limits that might make sense,ie you have to do at least 90 to be in the fast lane. Taiwanese logic prohibits this however
Irregardless of what speed you are at, as long as the right lane is empty, you have to keep right. IIRC, a friend got pulled over on a German Highway going at 260kmh… the cops gave him a ticket for “Road Hog”… cos he failed to keep right unless overtaking.
Hey, I’m American-Chinese, and I speak perfect English!
I would call that whine, rather, Taiwanese-English. I agree it’s really, really hard to listen to.
Others:
The way local girls say “bye-bye!” in high-pitched, nasally voices
Children who can’t behave themselves (or parents who don’t control their kids) in public places
The way some Taiwanese women take up an entire sidewalk or MRT staircase with their umbrella dangling on one side and their shopping bags on the other…AND while walking slower than a hairy caterpillar! :fume:
a. The way some people just stand there in everybody’s way during rush hour when their MRT ticket fails to get them through the turnstile, or when their friend’s/husband’s/wife’s/etc. ticket has failed.
b. The way some people (usually with a lot of shopping bags) stop dead in the middle of a busy walkway when they get a phone call or text message on their cell.
c. The way some people or groups of people board an MRT car or bus and take root less than a meter within the door, when there are still at least a dozen people who have yet to get onto the car/bus.
Older locals who try to speak Taiwanese to me even after I tell them twice that I can only deal in Mandarin.
Hey, I’m American-Chinese, and I speak perfect English!
I would call that whine, rather, Taiwanese-English. I agree it’s really, really hard to listen to.
Others:
The way local girls say “bye-bye!” in high-pitched, nasally voices
Children who can’t behave themselves (or parents who don’t control their kids) in public places
The way some Taiwanese women take up an entire sidewalk or MRT staircase with their umbrella dangling on one side and their shopping bags on the other…AND while walking slower than a hairy caterpillar! :fume:
a. The way some people just stand there in everybody’s way during rush hour when their MRT ticket fails to get them through the turnstile, or when their friend’s/husband’s/wife’s/etc. ticket has failed.
b. The way some people (usually with a lot of shopping bags) stop dead in the middle of a busy walkway when they get a phone call or text message on their cell.
c. The way some people or groups of people board an MRT car or bus and take root less than a meter within the door, when there are still at least a dozen people who have yet to get onto the car/bus.
Older locals who try to speak Taiwanese to me even after I tell them twice that I can only deal in Mandarin.[/quote]
ooh ooh and no. 6…every bastard thats sits on the outside seat of a two person seat on the bus leaving the window seat empty and then looks pissed when you squeeze past them (buttocks or crotch in their face, your choice)
The way that Taiwanese people explain their actions by stating
"THIS IS TAIWAN"
Arrrggghhhh!!!
OK, so the situatoin is like this:
“Er, excuse me. This is a queue and you have just pushed infront of me.”
“This is Taiwan.”
“Excuse me, why are you strangling that lovely, adorable puppy with that metal chain?”
“This is Taiwan”
“Erm…sir, you have just knocked over and scratched my motorbike while retrieving yours from an incredibly tight spot. Then you have just ridden away without picking it up or apologising.”
“This is Taiwan”
“Mr. taxi driver. Because I wasn’t quick enough off the mark when the traffic lights changed to green you horned me. Out of sheer annoyance I glared at you. You then took offence and got out of you taxi wielding a large metal bar and proceeded to wallop me repeatedly. I have 3 broken ribs, one broken arm and a broken tooth. And all you witnesses. Why didn’t you say anything?”
(collectively) “This is Taiwan.”
Grrrr…One day I’ll end up belting someone for sheer insolence…
[quote=“Dangermouse”]The way that Taiwanese people explain their actions by stating
"THIS IS TAIWAN"
Arrrggghhhh!!!
OK, so the situatoin is like this:
“Er, excuse me. This is a queue and you have just pushed infront of me.”
“This is Taiwan.”
“Excuse me, why are you strangling that lovely, adorable puppy with that metal chain?”
“This is Taiwan”
“Erm…sir, you have just knocked over and scratched my motorbike while retrieving yours from an incredibly tight spot. Then you have just ridden away without picking it up or apologising.”
“This is Taiwan”
“Mr. taxi driver. Because I wasn’t quick enough off the mark when the traffic lights changed to green you horned me. Out of sheer annoyance I glared at you. You then took offence and got out of you taxi wielding a large metal bar and proceeded to wallop me repeatedly. I have 3 broken ribs, one broken arm and a broken tooth. And all you witnesses. Why didn’t you say anything?”
(collectively) “This is Taiwan.”
Grrrr…One day I’ll end up belting someone for sheer insolence…[/quote]
You should get Paul Clark to handle these people for you. These issues seem right up his alley. I also heard he really does a number when he goes into a confrontation with his head up his ass.
A bear lives in the mountains. (Wrong they said because a bear is singular and the mountains plural.)
Wild dogs (They claimed there is no such thing. I tried to explain the Discover Channel show on the wild dogs of the African plains I saw the night before but to no avail.)
A bear lives in the mountains. (Wrong they said because a bear is singular and the mountains plural.)
Wild dogs (They claimed there is no such thing. I tried to explain the Discover Channel show on the wild dogs of the African plains I saw the night before but to no avail.)[/quote]
A few more that stick out:
“could have” is the same as “was able to”, they insisted. “I could have gone” means “I was able to go, and DID go”!
“must have” is the same as “had to”. “He must have done X” means “He was required to do X”, they said, despite my repeated protests.
“emergent situation” is correct, not “emergency” or “urgent situation”. After all, it says so in Continental’s Dictionary! (I’ve come across this one repeatedly.)
“officers” are in the government, and “officials” are in the military. “government officer” and “commanding official”, anyone?
The worst is someone who reads something I wrote or proofread, and says: “This doesn’t sound like natural English”. Then he re-writes it in perfect Chinglish. My boss did this all the time.
:fume: Setting up a time for the Weekly Movie, arriving at the theater and learning that they replaced the ONE show we meant to watch with a different movie :fume:
