Postnatal Depression.
Ermmmm, if someone you love has PND and is taking medication for it. Erm, what can you, as a loving husband, do to make things better?
We are talking about a Taiwanese MRS here.
Ok, Mrs Bassman
Particularly worried because she displays all the symptoms.
nhsdirect.nhs.uk/en.asp?Topi … inkID=2907
Will this help? parentscentre.org.nz/parenti … _table.asp
Arrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhh
Other than take it very seriously indeed, I don’t know. But I wish you and your wife the best of luck.
She needs your support, understanding and an occasional day/afternoon/hour off. She does NOT need a nagging husband, that’s for sure. 
I don’t have personal experiences with PND. I believe what they say on those web pages is worth trying out. Start with the simple things like letting her sleep in and go out shopping (or whatever she likes doing) on her own.
Good luck! I hope you’ll get your good old wife back soon
How about leaving the kids with someone you both trust(friend, babysitter) some evenings and spending some time alone?
So she can have time where she doesn’t have to pay attention to them constantly. So she can just have fun and relax. Time where you pay complete attention to her, and make her feel important, loved, and happy.
babycentre.co.uk/refcap/557236.html#5 :
[quote]If you’re the partner/mother/sister/friend of someone who’s got postnatal depression, this is what you can do to help:
Getting through this is going to be anything but easy.
I am going to need some support myself too by the looks of things.
[quote=“Bassman”]Getting through this is going to be anything but easy.
I am going to need some support myself too by the looks of things.[/quote]
call me brother…anytime 
Bassman, has your wife been diagnosed, and if so, is she on medication? What kind of help is she getting right now? From whom?
And I think you are right on that you can use some support, too. When a loved one is going through something like this, it’s essential that you take care of yourself. It’s very easy to feel like it’s more important to take care of the other person first, and it really does not have to be either or. You both are important to each other.
What’s your support system like? Who can you recruit to populate your world (you and your wife’s) to push back against depression on an ongoing basis? Connection with the community can be key in dealing with something like this. We all need each other to contend with the shadow side of life…
Take gentle care,
Hey Bassman,
how is your wife and baby doing?
I would start with paying much more attention to both of them and everything that happens. You may discover the subtleties of your wifes mood. Notice anything that makes her happier sadder. You’ll probably figure out what it is about the baby that makes her unhappy. If there are aspects of the relationship your wife feels inadequate about, you’ll quickly learn what they are if you pay attention to it.
You might find a way of helping out while making your wife feel better and more able; if there’s some aspect of baby caring your wife feels incapable of, figure out what it is. Figure out how to help out while making her feel like she’s becoming a better mother.
Besides listening, maybe a change in the house could help. Many of us never realize how much our environment can affect our mood. Ever go somewhere else like a friend’s place and feel completely relaxed and comfortable? Feel that way at home? If not, change something, change everything even.
I’d read every single book about PND and depression available. It’s become trendy to talk about chemical imbalances. Newer studies and even people say oh I’m not depressed, I was just born with a chemical imbalance. Someday we’ll say duh, our experience leaves some imprint on our brain and how it works. So read those books. Lots of them have suggestions about simple things like food and how they can change our mood. Like the book Change Your Brain, Change Your Life.
It seems that Taiwanese are less used to talking about their problems. If your wife is not comfortable with talking about it, that’s cool. You can learn a lot by becoming a better listener. If there’s things she wants to avoid for the moment, wait and see; she may start talking eventually.
I wonder, do you know anything about your wifes relationship with her parents? Any chance the baby is bringing back unfavorable memories of how she was raised?
good luck.
I wonder what is your wife’s image of an ideal mother. Does she feel incapable in some way?
Comfortable reading medical and psychological journals? There’s tons of studies out there. Find a way to get access to them. Find a friend at a university. Find a online subscription library like Questia.
forgot to mention. you can search and read abstracts with
Thanks everyone for the helpful replies and even better PM’s. Sorry I haven’t responded to everyone, although I intend to do so.
Things are getting much better. The Mrs isn’t great at taking medication and stopped. Things still got better though.
We spent many a weekend taking trips with a group of friends. We had fun. We didn’t argue. I gave killer foot rubs. I spent a lot more time with our eldest son and his English improved, thus scoring big points with the Mrs.
We took a long hard look at things that weren’t helping our problem and decided to do something about them.
That being said, there is still quite a ways to go before things are “normal” again. At least we can smile again. If you are smiling more things have to get better.
I made it through the toughest part, but at the same time took it out on Forumosa because there wasn’t any other outlet. I apologise to those on Forumosa that were on the end of my letting off steam. I guess the frustration was obvious in my posts. Now, I hope that I am back to normal. Special aplogies to Rascal.
If you’re into learning every possible way you could help, one new thing to look into is thyroperoxidase. It seems people have recently found a link between thyroperoxidase antibodies and PND. There’s a relationship to hyperthyroidism and atypical depression. it seems like it. Good luck figuring out what it is; doctors don’t seem to have a clue. But that doesn’t mean you can’t figure it out yourself. Just keep reading.
Your wife is lucky to have such a loving, understanding husband who puts forth effort to help her instead of telling her to quit whinging. I am glad things are getting better.