Political Satire and Political Jokes - Part 3




[quote=“boing boing”]The DOJ has rejected a Freedom of Information Act request from the New York Times that asked the agency to reveal the legal basis for the newly unveiled American program of strategic drone-attack assassinations of American citizens off the field of battle.

Summary:

[quote]* The government dropped a bomb on a U.S. citizen,

  • who, though a total dick and probably a criminal, may have been engaged only in propaganda,

  • which, though despicable, is generally protected by the First Amendment;

  • it did so without a trial or even an indictment (that we know of),

  • based at least in part on evidence it says it has but won’t show anyone,

  • and on a legal argument it has apparently made but won’t show anyone,

  • and the very existence of which it will not confirm or deny;

  • although don’t worry, because the C.I.A. would never kill an American without having somebody do a memo first;

  • and this is the “most transparent administration ever”;

  • currently run by a Nobel Peace Prize winner.[/quote][/quote]

[quote=“NYT”]The last convoy of American troops drove into Kuwait on Sunday morning, punctuating the end of the nearly nine-year war in Iraq.

United States soldiers received a briefing on Saturday night before their convoy, the last of the troop withdrawal, left Contingency Operating Base Adder near Nasiriya, Iraq.
As an indication of the country the United States is leaving behind, for security reasons the last soldiers made no time for goodbyes to Iraqis with whom they had become acquainted. To keep details of the final trip secret from insurgents — or Iraqi security officers aligned with militias — interpreters for the last unit to leave the base called local tribal sheiks and government leaders on Saturday morning and conveyed that business would go on as usual, not letting on that all the Americans would soon be gone.[/quote]

[quote=“NYT”]A day after the United States withdrew its last combat troops, Iraq faced a dangerous political crisis Monday as the Shiite-dominated government ordered the arrest of the Sunni vice president, accusing him of running a death squad that assassinated police officers and government officials.

The sensational charges drew a worried response from Washington and brought Iraq’s tenuous partnership government to the edge of collapse. A major Sunni-backed political coalition said its ministers would walk off their jobs, leaving adrift agencies that handle Iraq’s finances, schools and agriculture.

The accusations against Vice President Tariq al-Hashimi also underlined fears that Iraq’s leaders may now be using the very institutions America has spent millions of dollars trying to strengthen — the police, the courts, the media — as a cudgel to batter their political enemies and consolidate power.

On Monday night, Mr. Hashimi was in the northern semiautonomous region of Kurdistan, beyond the reach of security forces controlled by Baghdad. It was unclear when — or if — he would return to Baghdad.[/quote]

Angry Birds: Pakistan

(I just finished reading Ender’s Game.)

Not really political, but close enough, I guess.

Dining on NY strips and truffles, Biden tells $10K-a-plate donors that the GOP doesn’t get ‘average folks’

[quote]Vice President Joe Biden addressed 87 wealthy Democrats last night attending a fundraiser at the home of Sen. John Kerry in Georgetown. As they dined on grass-fed New York strip steaks and white truffle mashed potatos underneath a outdoor tent, Biden criticized Republicans for being out of touch.

“These guys don’t have a sense of the average folks out there,” Biden said according to the pool report, “They don’t know what it means to be middle class.”[/quote]

Something wrong in the world when politicians are among the richest of the rich and their voter base can’t afford basic medical care.

You can’t blame the morons. They (US Congressmen/women are not subject to the healthcare that they legislate for the peons… er, people.

Booorn in the USA! :laughing:

Europeans laugh at Obama… Obama has the same praise for all our allies:

youtube.com/watch?feature=pl … rYpXzE9Pxs


True of all governments everywhere.

[quote=“bismarck”]
True of all governments everywhere.[/quote]

As bad as some people may perceive it to be in the US (usually non Americans are the most vocal critics of the US on this site), I don’t think it’s nearly as bad as having Zuma as head of state. :laughing:

[quote=“ChewDawg”]As bad as some people may perceive it to be in the US (usually non Americans are the most vocal critics of the US on this site), I don’t think it’s nearly as bad as having Zuma as head of state. :laughing:
[/quote]
Nothing is as bad as having Zuma as head of state.

Just discovered this section of the forum. I’d like to contribute:

thinkprogress.org/politics/2012/ … ?mobile=nc

this one WAS a joke, right? RIGHT?

because when I saw it that day, I laughed a little. jussayin.

Zuma… well, I always thought that Mbeki was a dimmer bulb. Given his frequent gaffes, one wonders why the international spotlight of Bush haters was not zeroed in on him. I suppose though political correctness must reign at all times supreme but for the statements made by Mbeki about HIV/AIDS and his government’s policies… one wonders where all the concern and principles were then. I remember the lambasting that Reagan took from the gay rights activists during the outbreak. Sickening.

Mbeki was a bit dim, but he meant well and he did work for the people. How they got rid of him was shameful, and what they replaced him with was (is) abominable.
The real problem with Mbeki was poor advisors (especially his health minister), and the man was a total and complete idealist. But better an idealist than a megalomaniac incestual rapist who should be in prison for thieving millions from the country, who believes taking a shower after sex is solid protection against contracting HIV and embarrasses his nation with more wives than a 12th century Chinese Emperor who willingly lies to his voter base, stirs racial tension and does nothing of value for the masses but put on a show every once in a while.
But maybe GiT is right. Perhaps people do deserve the governments they chose.

More on topic:

[quote] President Jacob Zuma met the Queen of England earlier this year. He asked her: “Your Majesty, are there any tips you can give me to run a government as efficiently as you do in the UK?”

“Well,” replied the Queen, “the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.”

Zuma frowned. “But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?”

The Queen took a sip of tea and said: “Oh, that’s easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence riddle.”

The Queen pushed a button on her desk and said: “Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?”

Tony Blair walks into the room and said: “Yes, my Queen?”

The Queen smiled. “Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and Father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?”

Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answered, “That would be me, your majesty.”

“Yes! Very good Tony,” replied the Queen.

When president Zuma returned to Cape town, he asked to speak to Julius Malema.When he arrived, Zuma asked: “Answer me this please, Julius. Your mother and your Father have a child. It’s not your brother and it’s not your sister. Who is it?”

“I’m not sure,” replied Julius. “Let me get back to you on that one.” Julius returned to his advisors and asked everyone, but nobody can give him an answer. Finally, he ended up at the V&A Waterfront and bumped into Mark Lottering.

Julius looked around to see if anyone could overhear them, and he whispered: “Mark! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it’s not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”

Mark whispered back: “That’s easy. It’s me!”

Julius smiled and thanked Mark before heading back to Parliament to speak with Zuma.”I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It’s Mark Lottering.”

Zuma got up, stomped over to Julius, and angrily yelled into his face: “No, you idiot! It’s Tony Blair!” [/quote]

Even Google!! :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: