Old Man Waterfall: I’m a veteran of three dozen wars. Name a body part and a planet and I’ve taken a bullet in it, on it. All to keep our flag flying free.
Bender: And you wanna defend Zoidberg? Are you familiar with the old robot saying “does not compute”?
Old Man Waterfall: Son, to me a robot’s just a garbage can with sparks comin’ out it.
Bender: (sad) The sparks keep me warm.
Zoidberg: “I’d pay anything to end my miserable loneliness. If only I weren’t so desperately poor…”
Bender: “Wait. You mean people would pay good money for romance? Hmm. I think I have a scheme so deviously clever that I…”
Judge: cut “Five hundred dollars and time served!”
Bender: “Stupid anti-pimping laws!”
Prostitute: “Bender honey, we love you!”
Bender: “Shut up baby, i know it.”
Zapp: If we can hit that bull’s-eye then the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate!
Scruffy: Eh, jail ain’t so bad; you can make sangria in the terlet.
I could (and probably will) add posts to this thread for the next 3000 years.
Here’s one to start:
[quote]Narrator: You are entering the realm of the unusual. Maybe it’s magic or contains some kind of monster. The second one. Prepare to enter… The Scary Door. Please send a man 'round back and pick up Clyde Smith, a professional gambler who’s about to have an unfortunate accident.
Clyde Smith: [Smith is run over by a car, then awakes in a casino. He plays the slot machine and wins] Ha-ha-ha! A casino where I’m winning? That car must’ve killed me. I must be in heaven!
[wins again]
Clyde Smith: A casino where I always win. That’s boring. I must really be… in HELL!
Sebastian Cabot: No, Mr. Smith. You are not in heaven or hell. You are on an airplane!
[unrolls the curtains, revealing the airplane windows. A creature sits on the wing of the plane, ripping wires out of it]
Clyde Smith: There’s a gremlin destroying the plane. You gotta believe me!
Sebastian Cabot: Why should I believe you? You’re Hitler!
[Pulls out a mirror. Clyde’s reflection indeed looks like Hitler]
Clyde Smith: No!
[turns to a woman sitting next to him]
Clyde Smith: Eva Braun! Help me!
[the woman pulls off a mask, revealing the head of a fly]
Clyde Smith: Aaargh!!!
Bender: Saw it coming. [/quote]
And and then there’s my signature. Never fails to amuse me. Bender is definitely my favourite character.
[quote=“irishstu”]I could (and probably will) add posts to this thread for the next 3000 years.
Here’s one to start:
[quote]Narrator: You are entering the realm of the unusual. Maybe it’s magic or contains some kind of monster. The second one. Prepare to enter… The Scary Door. Please send a man 'round back and pick up Clyde Smith, a professional gambler who’s about to have an unfortunate accident.
Clyde Smith: [Smith is run over by a car, then awakes in a casino. He plays the slot machine and wins] Ha-ha-ha! A casino where I’m winning? That car must’ve killed me. I must be in heaven!
[wins again]
Clyde Smith: A casino where I always win. That’s boring. I must really be… in HELL!
Sebastian Cabot: No, Mr. Smith. You are not in heaven or hell. You are on an airplane!
[unrolls the curtains, revealing the airplane windows. A creature sits on the wing of the plane, ripping wires out of it]
Clyde Smith: There’s a gremlin destroying the plane. You gotta believe me!
Sebastian Cabot: Why should I believe you? You’re Hitler!
[Pulls out a mirror. Clyde’s reflection indeed looks like Hitler]
Clyde Smith: No!
[turns to a woman sitting next to him]
Clyde Smith: Eva Braun! Help me!
[the woman pulls off a mask, revealing the head of a fly]
Clyde Smith: Aaargh!!!
Bender: Saw it coming. [/quote]
And and then there’s my signature. Never fails to amuse me. Bender is definitely my favourite character.[/quote]
That’s hilarious! Where can I watch it? (I don’t do torrents).
[quote=“Maoman”][quote=“irishstu”]I could (and probably will) add posts to this thread for the next 3000 years.
Here’s one to start:
[quote]Narrator: You are entering the realm of the unusual. Maybe it’s magic or contains some kind of monster. The second one. Prepare to enter… The Scary Door. Please send a man 'round back and pick up Clyde Smith, a professional gambler who’s about to have an unfortunate accident.
Clyde Smith: [Smith is run over by a car, then awakes in a casino. He plays the slot machine and wins] Ha-ha-ha! A casino where I’m winning? That car must’ve killed me. I must be in heaven!
[wins again]
Clyde Smith: A casino where I always win. That’s boring. I must really be… in HELL!
Sebastian Cabot: No, Mr. Smith. You are not in heaven or hell. You are on an airplane!
[unrolls the curtains, revealing the airplane windows. A creature sits on the wing of the plane, ripping wires out of it]
Clyde Smith: There’s a gremlin destroying the plane. You gotta believe me!
Sebastian Cabot: Why should I believe you? You’re Hitler!
[Pulls out a mirror. Clyde’s reflection indeed looks like Hitler]
Clyde Smith: No!
[turns to a woman sitting next to him]
Clyde Smith: Eva Braun! Help me!
[the woman pulls off a mask, revealing the head of a fly]
Clyde Smith: Aaargh!!!
Bender: Saw it coming. [/quote]
And and then there’s my signature. Never fails to amuse me. Bender is definitely my favourite character.[/quote]
That’s hilarious! Where can I watch it? (I don’t do torrents).[/quote]
[quote=“irishstu”][quote]That’s hilarious! Where can I watch it? (I don’t do torrents).[/quote]I believe shinyimports.com may be able to hep you out.
They’re cheap, fast, friendly, and even give you a free kiss with every order (Well, the kiss might have just been for me. Not sure…)
[erm, so, you know, that would be big fluffy matthew you’d need to contact (for the benefit of those who don’t know)][/quote]Aye, I can get them. There’s 4 seasons with between 13 and 22 episodes and lots of extras at $NT1400 each. Multiple seasons might qualify for a further discount coz I’m nice. Made by the same people who make The Simpsons and Stu’s avatar so it must be good.
[Leela and Fry are disguised as robots and trying not to get caught out by robot sentries]
[quote]Robot #1: Administer the test!
Robot #2: Which of the following would you most prefer? A: a puppy, B: a pretty flower from your sweety, or C: a large properly formatted data file?
Robot #1: Choose!
Fry: Uh, is the puppy mechanical in any way?
Robot #2: No, it is the bad kind of puppy.
Leela: Then we’ll go with that data file!
Robot #2: Correct!
Robot #1: The flower would also have been acceptable. [/quote]
[quote]Zapp Brannigan: Good work everyone; the mothership is destroyed!
[The real mothership reveals itself.]
Zapp Brannigan: What the hell is that thing?
Kif: It appears to be the mothership…
Zapp Brannigan: Then what did we just blow up?
Kif: [checks one of the instruments] The Hubble Telescope. [/quote]
[quote]Fry: Well, thanks to the Internet, I’m now bored with sex. Is there anywhere that panders to my lust for violence?
Bender:(sarcastically)Is the Space Pope reptilian? [/quote]
[quote]Professor Farnsworth: And this is my universal translator. Unfortunately so far it only translates into an incomprehensible dead language.
Cubert: Hello!
Universal Translator: Bonjour!
Professor Farnsworth: Crazy gibberish! [/quote]
[quote=“irishstu”][quote=“Maoman”]That’s hilarious! Where can I watch it? (I don’t do torrents).[/quote]I believe shinyimports.com may be able to hep you out.
They’re cheap, fast, friendly, and even give you a free kiss with every order (Well, the kiss might have just been for me. Not sure…)
[erm, so, you know, that would be big fluffy matthew you’d need to contact (for the benefit of those who don’t know)][/quote]
I was wondering about a swap? I’ve got Magnum PI first season, The entire West Wing series, the entire Friends series, and Simpsons 1-8. I’m trying to stay away from DVDs that don’t have Chinese subtitles, for Vanessa’s sake.
[quote] [Dr. Zoidberg attempts to woo Edna while Fry helps from a hiding place]
Dr. Zoidberg [to Fry]: Now what?
Fry: Tell her she looks thin.
Dr. Zoidberg: You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from intestinal parasites maybe?
Edna: Yes, thanks for noticing.
Fry: Now ask her how her day was.
Dr. Zoidberg: Why would I wanna know?
Fry: You don’t. Ask anyway.
Dr. Zoidberg [to Edna]: How was your day?
Edna: Well, first I got up and had a piece of toast, then I brushed my teeth, then I went to the store to buy some fish…
[Edna continues with a long list of mundane activities.]
Dr. Zoidberg: Fry, look what you did! She won’t shut up!
Fry: That’s normal. Just nod your head and say ‘Uh-huh.’
Dr. Zoidberg [nodding to Edna]: Uh-huh…Uh-huh…
Edna: …and then you threw an octopus at my window. [/quote]
[quote]Fry: I’m Santa Claus!
Hermes: No, I’m Santa Claus!
Amy: We’re also Santa Claus!
Dr. Zoidberg: And I’m his friend Jesus.
Mayor: None of you are Santa Claus! How dare you lie in front of Jesus! [/quote]
Pop a poppler in your mouth when you come to Fishy Joe’s,
What they’re made of is a mystery, where they come from no one knows.
You can pick 'em, you can lick 'em,
You can chew 'em, you can stick 'em,
If you promise not to sue us, you can shove one up your nose.
