On the flipside. Just be thankful that you didn’t end up marrying her before she turned psycho on you.
Agree.
It does sound like you got royally screwed over, and I feel for you. Yet we hear an inordinate number of stories like this in Taiwan. Usually it involves a newly arrived foreign guy setting up with a local girl (whether he met her overseas first or met her here) and letting her take care of everything in Taiwan (any or all of: phone / housing / bank account / credit / joint purchases / setting up business, and so forth). Then the guy is surprised when the whole kit and kaboodle gets pulled out from under them when things take a turn south a couple or few years into their stay in Taiwan. Bit naive.
The one really significant thing I see that you did wrong from your story was to let her parents front you the cost of your trip. Nobody pays the travel agency “after” their trip. Unless her parents are super rich and flush with cash, and you guys were already married to establish that extra bond of trust, and you and her parents were all lovey dovey, then it really makes no sense to be traveling on their tab. I can imagine that if her parents already had some reservations about you (and many local parents naturally have reservations about their daughter being engaged to a foreigner, because they don’t want to see her taken away permanently to the other side of the planet one day), then this may have been the straw that broke the camel’s back. They may have even been working to set her up with another eligible local guy. It sure sounds like she was already with another guy at the time this went down, or she wouldn’t have been so cagey about seeing you.
[Edit to add: And although we hear quite a lot of stories like this, I should hasten to add that I and most of my friends have been fortunate to meet mostly good women here. I’m happily married to a Taiwanese woman. ]
Hmmm… the point is she only got the job by accident, as she’d quit her job to come to Japan and study Japanese, but ended up helping me with a bunch of stuff for the office here and got a job. When we met she’d just graduated from her masters degree and was working in her own job in Taipei, I was working in my job in Tokyo. When we got together and engaged, she was still working in her own job and was going to move to Japan. So I don’t think it’s about the unethical thing of giving her a job or trying to create a job for her; my company offered through me (it wasn’t my idea) and I agreed that it would be good, as she’d quit her job because of me and it kind of got rid of some of my guilt.
Even though you could argue I shouldn’t have felt guilty.
But the point is, given the life she had, there was absolutely no reason for her to go all psycho on me. I still do not understand why she did it.
And it’s not a few objects. There is vital data I need on one of the machines there, and if it was just a few, easily replaceable objects, I’d be OK. But unfortunately it’s not as because of what she did, I’m not in the position I was a couple of years back and could easily replace them. Now I struggle to do the most basic things in life. But at least I have the satisfaction of saying that at least I stayed around to sort out whatever needed sorting out, to get my stuff back or whatever. I never ran away, which is precisely what she’s done after going all psycho and messing a lot of things up for me.
I don’t see her as a psycho, exactly. Nor do I think the break-up was about money or you being thoughtless and uncaring, though they may have been (from her point of view) contributing factors.
She just made an intuitive decision that she was not going spend the rest of her life with you.
I understand how frustrating it must be for you to not know her reasons why. However, it’s not really about reasons – just irrational feminine feelings.
My guess is that she would have been unable to articulate her feelings in English, and she wanted to avoid even being in a situation where she would have to do that. She knew there was no way she could defend her decision in a second language in a “reasonable” discussion with a rational male such as yourself. Clearly, she didn’t deal with the situation very skilfully, but it may have been the best way for her.
For many women (often the ones we find most attractive … well, speaking personally, at least) intuition will always trump reason. Of course, the opposite is true for most males. Therein lies the problem that you have to come to terms with.
True, but at the end of the day I didn’t come over here with her to do x,y and z. I’d come over here to spend a bit of time before moving back to Japan here. Various things colluded to make me end up staying here and again, the result of a few things that happened, she ended up helping out. I wouldn’t call it naive, as my ultimate goal (as mentioned to her and agreed with her a million and one times when we were together) was to live anywhere else but Taiwan.
Which brings me to the parents having reservations bit. Maybe, maybe not. Her sister (older sister) lives in Spain and has done for a long time, engaged to a Spanish guy who they love. They have no intention of moving back to Taiwan, but visit once a year. Even before I got together with the psycho, she wanted to move overseas (she did her masters degree in the UK - the reason I know her is that she rented a room from my brother, he kind of introduced us and she came to visit me in Japan). So I can’t see how that would work against things at the time. I mean if they’d had reservations, they’d be very vocal about it - they were very vocal arguers.
And her seeing someone else? Possibly, possibly not. I have no evidence of it, but lots of evidence from people I know / people who saw her after we split to suggest that she wasn’t seeing someone. I think she’s seeing some rather nerdy looking person now, completely not what I understood her type to be, so really does sound like her parents were arranging some o-miai or whatever you guys call it in Taiwan. In fact, that probably happened afterwards.
Fact of the matter is, I don’t think I was naive, I was looking for every way to get out of Taiwan. Still am, I just want to make sure I’ve closed the book on everything and got my stuff back first!
Not sure about that. Her English was pretty much native - better than mine and to be truthful, astoundingly good with little accent. As for my experience with these things, I have no problem in articulating my feelings / thoughts / emotions / anything vaguely irrational in Japanese, which is as far removed from English as Taiwanese is, so I don’t think that (from her perspective) it’s a valid excuse, given how good her English is.
And you’re certainly right, she didn’t deal with the situation in a tactful or skillful way at all. Would you call messing pretty much everything right up to and including a well paid job (I was running the Asia Pacific region for an international UK-headquartered company) skillful and well thought out? In fact, she’s probably made things worse because I’ve been calling / mailing / more to try and get my stuff back and she knows I won’t give up until I do. It’s not that I’m being mad / psychotic and trying to stalk her to get her back, like I said a few times since I posted here, she burnt those bridges long ago and to be honest that’s the last thing I want. What I do want is my stuff back, stuff I can ill afford to replace, data I need urgently and my dog back to be a nice companion and to be my buddy as I battle on with my life. That’s why I bought the bloody thing! And the least I can do is make her hell until I get everything back. But that’s not why I posted this here.
But anyway, I really appreciate the comments and advice from a lot of people here, it’s really interesting and actually quite helpful to hear some other perspectives on this from other people with experience of Taiwan. However, to reiterate the original purpose of my posting this, it’s not to ask for advice / help or anything like that, it’s a warning to other people to beware of the psycho xiaojies! The worst thing I can think of is not a complete failure to get my stuff back, but to see this happen so many more times with poor innocent people who have done nothing wrong.
[quote]And it’s not a few objects. There is vital data I need on one of the machines there, and if it was just a few, easily replaceable objects, I’d be OK. But unfortunately it’s not as because of what she did, I’m not in the position I was a couple of years back and could easily replace them. Now I struggle to do the most basic things in life. But at least I have the satisfaction of saying that at least I stayed around to sort out whatever needed sorting out, to get my stuff back or whatever. I never ran away, which is precisely what she’s done after going all psycho and messing a lot of things up for me.
[/quote]
Yeps that does suck. Like everyone else is saying, you got away lucky, no court cases and police reports involved.
That’s not love. That’s something else.
Love is being is for other people what they need. Nobody except a sadist has any use for a weak person. If you’re strong and in charge, you may be of use to others. If you’re vulnerable, no one can lean on you for support.[/quote]
Wholeheartedly agree that part of love is being strong and stable for that other person, being of use for them, helping them to achieve and feel what they want to achieve and feel.
I think our disagreement here is semantics. When I say vulnerable, I don’t mean weak. Maybe I’m making up my own definitions. HOld on.
Ah, motherfucker, looks like you’re right:
[quote]vul·ner·a·ble
ˈvəln(ə)rəbəl/Submit
adjective
susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm.
“we were in a vulnerable position”
synonyms: helpless, defenseless, powerless, impotent, weak, susceptible More
(of a person) in need of special care, support, or protection because of age, disability, or risk of abuse or neglect.
“employees must be better trained in how to deal with vulnerable young people”[/quote]
(for the record, not calling you a motherfucker, just exclaiming at my improper use of a word.)
[quote]weak
wēk/Submit
adjective
1.
lacking the power to perform physically demanding tasks; lacking physical strength and energy.
“she was recovering from the flu and was very weak”
synonyms: frail, feeble, delicate, fragile; More
antonyms: strong
synonyms: inadequate, poor, feeble; More
antonyms: strong, powerful, keen
of a low standard; performing or performed badly.
“the choruses on this recording are weak”
synonyms: inadequate, poor, feeble; More
antonyms: strong, powerful, keen
antonyms: strong, convincing
exerting only a small force.
“a weak magnetic field”
2.
liable to break or give way under pressure; easily damaged.
“the salamander’s tail may be broken off at a weak spot near the base”[/quote]
Well, I suppose they are a little different.
What I mean by vulnerable (and maybe there’s a better word for this?) is that you’re putting yourself out there, saying, I like you, and I want you to like me too. And then giving the other person the option to accept or reject you. You are “susceptible to injury,” but not you’re not “lacking power.”
Vulnerable is saying, “I’m giving you the power to hurt me now, but if you do hurt me, I know I’ll be ok anyways. I’m bigger than this hurt. I’ll be disappointed, but not shattered.”
I think it’s impossible to really have love without doing the above.
The really weak people try never to be vulnerable- they always try to keep the upper hand, don’t show when they’re scared or hurt, etc. and it’s really hard to maintain a healthy relationship with such a person (in my experience).
Have to agree with the poster above though- never give another person power over your finances. Always be able to make a break from someone without going broke.
Yes, maybe “naive” was too strong a word. But your situation does illustrate the risk in allowing oneself to be overly reliant, even in the closest relationships with fiancees, spouses, or family. I like to believe that we can be trusting in those relationships, but I also believe in not “testing” that proposition when not absolutely necessary.
Anyway, thanks for sharing your story. It may help others to avoid winding up in similar situations. Wish you good luck in getting your life and career back on track.
Wow, this story or the way is written reminds me of these chain emails “forward this email to all your contacts or the psycho xie jie will go after you”. 
Now seriously. I think that you are way too emotionally affected to look at this objectively. Seems like you are too hurt and are oblivious of things that might have happened or you might have done. Sure, she looks like a bitch. People should split up without trying to fuck up the other, even if there’s a lot of pain.
Somebody suggested that she might had got involved in another relationship by the time she was acting up, and some other poster mentioned language barrier. I think that both things may have happened indeed. I would also like to hear her version, but you know, some people will never stop lying… so who knows what’s true.
As for the Taiwanese girls being psychos, well, obviously you can’t just generalize that much. However, I see your point; in my opinion, there’s a mix of naiveness and spoilness here that is greater than in Europe. Some girls here look like princess-wannabes who think that deserve everything because well, that’s how they were educated by their idiotic and mafia-worker parents. Again I don’t really know that many locals and so, but that’s the feeling I got. In Taiwan appearances are just about everything, along with egoism. So many people saying here “oh, Taiwanese are superfriendly”. Yeah, turn on your back and the gossips and ill intentioned comments start. May be something similar happens when it comes to relationships, I don’t know.
[quote=“adamu_kun”]
And it’s not a few objects. There is vital data I need on one of the machines there.[/quote]
Do I detect a pattern here? You seem not to be in the habit of making contingency plans. Are you one of thse people who blithely assume plan A is going to go smoothly?
Two words: backup and encryption.
[quote=“rowland”]Do I detect a pattern here? You seem not to be in the habit of making contingency plans. Are you one of thse people who blithely assume plan A is going to go smoothly?
Two words: backup and encryption.[/quote]
There was no back up plan with her, but I see your point. I’d actually bought a back up hard drive to back everything up to the very weekend things went sour. But never got chance to use it - not that I would have got the darned thing back by now!
Thanks - it’s been a year and a half already… But thanks for your kind words. That was the whole purpose of this post, to try to make sure this doesn’t happen to anyone else (knowing of course, sadly, that it will)
[quote=“jesus80”]Now seriously. I think that you are way too emotionally affected to look at this objectively. Seems like you are too hurt and are oblivious of things that might have happened or you might have done. Sure, she looks like a bitch. People should split up without trying to fuck up the other, even if there’s a lot of pain.
Somebody suggested that she might had got involved in another relationship by the time she was acting up, and some other poster mentioned language barrier. I think that both things may have happened indeed. I would also like to hear her version, but you know, some people will never stop lying… so who knows what’s true.
As for the Taiwanese girls being psychos, well, obviously you can’t just generalize that much. However, I see your point; in my opinion, there’s a mix of naiveness and spoilness here that is greater than in Europe. Some girls here look like princess-wannabes who think that deserve everything because well, that’s how they were educated by their idiotic and mafia-worker parents. Again I don’t really know that many locals and so, but that’s the feeling I got. In Taiwan appearances are just about everything, along with egoism. So many people saying here “oh, Taiwanese are superfriendly”. Yeah, turn on your back and the gossips and ill intentioned comments start. May be something similar happens when it comes to relationships, I don’t know.[/quote]
Hmmm… I don’t think I’m that emotionally affected to look at it objectively. Sure, I’ve been fucked up, sure I am still fucked up by it (over 18 months later), but to be honest, I’ve gone over things a million and one times with a fine-toothed, objective comb (can you get ‘objective combs’?) and there’s nothing I can think of that I did to put things in that position. Also, I’m not sure if it was language barrier, her English was better than mine. I’m not an English teacher, but as a native speaker, I think I’m kind of qualified to make some sort of judgement on it. I’d love to hear why - I wonder if she’s got the balls to find this thread and post on it.
Anyway, I totally agree that people here are spoilt and naive to a point that they’re not in Europe. Or Japan for that matter. They have this sense of entitlement they shouldn’t really expect or have. Sure, there’s a lot of well-off people here, but the fact remains that the average monthly income for Taiwanese people is NT$ 30,000 or somewhere near there. That’s tiny on the world-scale of things, so I’m not sure why this gives them this mentality. Or their parents the right to judge people on perceived differences between foreigners and them - we have more money. Does that give them an inferiority complex or something?
And the back-stabbing and gossiping? I’m 100% sure it happens with relationships. The ex-missus was always doing it as soon as her friends backs were turned. So I’m sure she was doing the same to me and was pushed into what she did.
After all, I really find it hard to trust Taiwanese people after what happened and what my Japanese friend found from speaking to her Taiwanese friend. It’s shocking to me that this kind of behavior is expected and it completely dumbfounds me that this is actually condoned. Cultural differences and whatever else taken into account, you don’t do stuff like that to a fellow human being, especially someone you professed to ‘love’ and wanted to marry. It goes against humane altruism and thinking of fellow human beings. I’ve not heard of people in China or Japan or Korea doing crazy stuff like that, I’ve not heard from friends or even general ex-pat community ‘anecdotes’ about this kind of thing happening. It really appears to be unique to Taiwan.
So as I wrote, I really think that this should be a warning to people coming to Taiwan for the first time, meeting TW girls for the first time - beware, there’s a large chance she might be an immature, back-stabbing psycho xiaojie. If this is you (someone doing this) reading this, I hope it isn’t the case and wish you many years of happiness, but the sad truth is, TW girls are a special kind of psycho / wacky / mad thing. Read some of what people have written here and be very, very careful with said TW girl. Don’t get me wrong, to be honest, I think TW girls are some of the most beautiful in Asia, but looks aren’t everything as you can plainly tell from this thread and others like it!
Y’know, after I got royally fucked over by an English guy when I was young and trusting, I avoided being in relationships with 'em for a long time. Immature, boring, overly-dependent man-children who can’t be trusted, with an alarming tendency to baldness by their 30s. Ew.
But that was just me over-generalising because I was hurt and didn’t want to get hurt again. And you know what the upshot of that was? I went out with a Canadian. 
We have a tendency to consider individual differences as cultural descriptors, when that person is the only one we know well from that place. It’s a mistake. Taiwanese women can be amazing. They can also be crazy bitches, as can we all.
fwiw, it’s not crazy to hold onto your stuff. She maybe feels you ‘owe’ her, or that she still wants to have some kind of contact, on her terms. Crazy would be to set it on fire in the street and send you a picture. 
Holding onto other people’s stuff is crazy, regardless of how you try and spin it. Esp if medical records are involved,after all that time she must know how important they are.
Oh, BTW. If everything else fails, go with the police to gt back your stuff, at least the computer. I guess that if you claim that you need that medical history data, you can get the police on your side. Don’t just complain and wait until she becomes reasonable, because odds are that she won’t.
Theres no questions women can be a handful. I am not sure its only TW women though.
But those little heartbreakers in Taiwan are heartbreakers !!
And yes they CAN and often do F8ck you up.
But they are survivable . You can do it !
Perhaps some women need a fellow Taiwanese to be able to handle. OR perhaps they are just unhandleable period.
[quote=“Ermintrude”]Y’know, after I got royally fucked over by an English guy when I was young and trusting, I avoided being in relationships with 'em for a long time. Immature, boring, overly-dependent man-children who can’t be trusted, with an alarming tendency to baldness by their 30s. Ew.
But that was just me over-generalising because I was hurt and didn’t want to get hurt again. And you know what the upshot of that was? I went out with a Canadian.
We have a tendency to consider individual differences as cultural descriptors, when that person is the only one we know well from that place. It’s a mistake. Taiwanese women can be amazing. They can also be crazy bitches, as can we all.
fwiw, it’s not crazy to hold onto your stuff. She maybe feels you ‘owe’ her, or that she still wants to have some kind of contact, on her terms. Crazy would be to set it on fire in the street and send you a picture. [/quote]
Here are words of wisdom, delivered with kindness.
The only thing I don’t agree with is the last bit. It might not be crazy not to give things back, but it is certainly cold.
OP, I’m really sorry to hear all of this happened. But one thing I don’t understand: What was her motive?
Did she plan for many months to pull the rug out from underneath you? Did she genuinely love you, or was it all a ploy all along? Did she genuinely hope to marry you, only to have a sudden change of heart? Did she have smoldering resentment for many months, only to finally boil over? Was this a cold, calculated plan a long coming? Did she have any good reason?
I’m confused.
Speak for yerself lady. I can only go crazy or be bitchy 
.
[quote=“PeregrineFalcon”]OP, I’m really sorry to hear all of this happened. But one thing I don’t understand: What was her motive?
Did she plan for many months to pull the rug out from underneath you? Did she genuinely love you, or was it all a ploy all along? Did she genuinely hope to marry you, only to have a sudden change of heart? Did she have smoldering resentment for many months, only to finally boil over? Was this a cold, calculated plan a long coming? Did she have any good reason?
I’m confused.[/quote]
Confused? Join the club. I really would like to know what was going on in her head. We were in the UK for X’mas in 2012 and in Spain for New Year’s 2013 and she was all lovey-dovey throughout all of that and after we got back to Taiwan. Her change in late January / early February was completely unexpected, out of character and completely incomprehensible. Like I wrote, she changed from the most loving, lovely person you could ever want to meet into the most psychotic, back-stabbing little b!tch I’ve ever come across. To be truthful, I really do not know if she had smoldering resentment for many months before but if she did, it was certainly cold and calculating. Just strikes me as completely odd that she would wait until then to do it, as I often had to travel on business, to Australia, Japan, Singapore, all over. She had many opportunities to change her tune over the preceding months but didn’t. Is it a question of whether she fell or she was pushed? To be honest, I think she was pushed. Maybe by her parents.
But that is absolutely no excuse for her behavior, her keeping of my stuff all this time (like I said, is she really running around with my underwear on her head?) and refusing to answer any of my messages. None of my messages, except for perhaps the first week or so afterwards, were about getting back with her. I don’t ever want this after what she did. All I have messaged her about, ad infinitum it seems now, is securing my stuff so I can move forward, which brings me on to the next post:
[quote=“jesus80”] Oh, BTW. If everything else fails, go with the police to gt back your stuff, at least the computer. I guess that if you claim that you need that medical history data, you can get the police on your side. Don’t just complain and wait until she becomes reasonable, because odds are that she won’t.
[/quote]
I tried this approach. Two days after she kicked me out, I went to the police and explained that, after hearing things about psycho xiaojies (on Forumosa!), I was scared for my own personal well being if I went round there to get my stuff. So the police accompanied with me whilst I went to get what I could carry; namely a suitcase with some clothes, my laptop, iPad and a couple of other small bits and pieces (mainly things that I could carry like some personal stuff I was given by my family etc. etc.). I took photos of EVERYTHING, explained to the police in front of her that I would come around or arrange for pick-up of my stuff by a third party (e.g. FedEx or whatever) once I had sorted out a new address to forward them to. The police agreed that this sounded sensible and off I toddled back to the hotel I was staying at.
After this I decided to go back to Japan for a few months to get away from things in Taiwan (I’d resigned my job after all, so could go anywhere), so I decided I wanted my stuff forwarding there. I contacted her for about two weeks before I went and of course, no response, so I went to the police again and accused her of theft. The police told me it was a civil matter and I should sort it myself, but they did come to the house with me (she was out) and, looking through the windows, we confirmed that my stuff was still there.
I told the police at the time that the medical records I was keeping (blood pressure before, during and after drug treatment) was on the iMac and I needed this to give to the doctor. Not that I was able to go to the doctor after being left skint and without insurance (leaving my job that paid for this). They told me again to sort it out with her. Now, I’ve been feeling a bit badly the last couple of months and need this data to show the doctor what happened when I had treatment before and I really need the data and again, when I went to the police a few weeks ago after coming back from Japan, the police told me that it was civil and I needed to sort it out myself… Now, in any other country, I’m pretty sure that I’d have a good case to show that these had in fact been stolen (given that the police had, on two occasions, confirmed that stuff was there).
Not only the computer records, but all my own personal documents, including University certificates, transcripts and my old insurance docs (that I now need for insurance renewal) are there. I need my Uni docs and more for my resident permit extension in Japan AND for the office set up I plan there. I guess I could get them from my Uni, but that will just add extra time, stress and hassle to the whole process. Quite what use she has for these, I really don’t know.
Just goes to prove my theory that she’s one of many psycho xiaojie.
[quote=“res”] Holding onto other people’s stuff is crazy, regardless of how you try and spin it. Esp if medical records are involved,after all that time she must know how important they are.
[/quote]
Exactly - see above!
[quote=“Ermintrude”] Y’know, after I got royally fucked over by an English guy when I was young and trusting, I avoided being in relationships with 'em for a long time. Immature, boring, overly-dependent man-children who can’t be trusted, with an alarming tendency to baldness by their 30s. Ew.
But that was just me over-generalising because I was hurt and didn’t want to get hurt again. And you know what the upshot of that was? I went out with a Canadian.
We have a tendency to consider individual differences as cultural descriptors, when that person is the only one we know well from that place. It’s a mistake. Taiwanese women can be amazing. They can also be crazy bitches, as can we all.
fwiw, it’s not crazy to hold onto your stuff. She maybe feels you ‘owe’ her, or that she still wants to have some kind of contact, on her terms. Crazy would be to set it on fire in the street and send you a picture.
[/quote]
To be absolutely honest, the majority of English guys I’ve seen are loud-mouthed idiots who sleep around as much as possible and are very immature boors. Just take a flight over to the UK and look at the dross they call TV over there showing what these imbeciles get up to when they go for their holiday to Spain or Greece or wherever. Not to mention they sid on the beach, turn into beetroots, have fish and chips everyday and get royally wasted and into fights most nights. Seriously, the majority of guys are like that.
But that’s the majority of people that stay in the UK all their lives and think something ‘overseas’ is going on a package holiday to the Spanish Costas to drink as much as possible, sleep around as much as possible and eat Burger King every day. And that’s the furthest they’d travel as anything else ‘just isn’t like proper stuff in England’. This is one of the many reasons I moved away as soon as I could; when I was 18 I enrolled in a Japanese University, studied there for 4 years and stayed. Now, by all of this, I’m not saying all British guys are like this, but unfortunately quite a few people I’ve come across in Taiwan, Japan and all over Asia do kind of fit into this mould (they’ve come over here to carry on what their mates do back home). They whinge about how much they hate it, any country here, sit around in ex-pat bars and when people do not understand English, they shout louder and enunciate a bit slower. Boors the lot of them.
But like I said, not everyone is like this. There are a few of us that are actually quite decent, normal human beings. Unfortunately we’re few and far between (and even though I’m a passport-carrying Brit, I’m not afraid to say it and to be honest, I’ve lived more than half my life in Asia and the stuff I see when I go over to the UK often makes me sick). Which makes me think that based on the evidence I have that all Taiwanese girls are like that. But applying the same logic, I agree that not all of them are like that. There have to be some roses amongst them who are honest, decent people who would never back-stab anyone. But I’ve yet to find them / be introduced to any. And if that happens one day, then I’ll be happy to be proven wrong.
You know, I kind of thought that she may be holding onto my stuff because she ‘wants some kind of contact on her terms’ but with each day and month that goes on, this seems less and less likely and more that she’s trying to be vindictive and cruel for no other reason than she enjoys twisting the knife in my back even more. You know, I’ve told her that I’m happy to meet up (in a public place of course) at any time to discuss this stuff rationally and like adults, but as always she ignores my contact and I’m left wondering WTF to do next.
All of this just points to her being psycho and crazy. Like a lot of people have written here, it’s cold and heartless to hold onto my stuff for so long. Especially the dog that gives me a lot of joy and the computer I really (quite urgently it would seem) need data from.
But like other people have written, this is a public forum, I’m not here to vent really and I’m not really expecting answers. I’m merely trying to show what these girls can be like as a cautionary tale to other people that may suddenly find this creep up on them in the way it crept up on me. But everyone who has posted, thanks! It’s given me a lot to think about and maybe I can think of some other angles from this (kind of hard to after 18 months of this, but I’ll try!).
Just remember folks, it’s a jungle out there!!!
It’s easy to know why she suddenly changed her mind about her relationship with OP.
Her parents covered their little trips around the world and OP was in no rush to pay them back! He thought "hey! I’m going to pay you back someday, so gimme a breakkkk. Be patient, you ungrateful parents! I’m taking your girl to discover the world, I got her a well paid job, I’m paying for all her daily life expenses… How rude are you to pressure me in paying you back! ".
OP, you know that delaying the payment was a big issue. But instead of solving it, you decided to stay another month in japan! Life is good indeed 
Then upon your return to tw, you didn’t rush to the bank but instead decided that “well, I will go to the bank next Tuesday or Wednesday…depends how busyyyyy I am.” “Oh and too bad, it will have to wait Wednesday cos I gotta wait for my salary.”
Based on such an irresponsible behavior, I bet her hard working parents begged her to not waste her life with you.
Then, you go on blaming her for not letting you go drink with your buddies because she worries you will drunk-driving and how right she was, since you crashed your car that same night… “Oh but it’s not due to alcohol but it’s actually HER fault cos she has been messing up with my head so I lost focus while driving”
Again, it’s never your fault!
And finally… One year and a half later…you are back to tw, harassing her for VITAL data! Must be freaking vital LOL
So here you are, trying to sell us your creepy story and using it to disrespect ALL Taiwanese women.
You, my friend, are a real freak!