Didn’t you say that letter would be sent out on Monday this week? And there’s still not been a response? It’s been nearly four days - just under a month - which is more than enough time IMO.
The next logical step would be to hire an assassin.
Holding out for your stuff isn’t keeping the relationship alive, it is preventing you from moving on. Which you haven’t, despite your protestations to the contrary.
Something happened which you can’t fathom out and will never fathom. Ok, so you say she was perfect until one tiny incident. Now you are in a mess and still want answers. You won’t get them. And if you get your stuff? You still won’t have the answers.
You can say its about your stuff till you are blue in the face (which must be close). But this is about taking control. Well, you can take control by just sacking it off and letting her keep that shit. My Taiwanese ex has my car, my scooter, my laptop, a box of work stuff and a wardrobe full of my clothes. If she wants to keep all that shit then whatever. Let her live in a decaying reminder of the fuck up she engineered.
And lay off the sweeping statements. Some Taiwanese women will go bonkers (fuck me, loads of people are manipulative, selfish self motivated arseholes. I am. Aren’t you?) . Some dogs will bite off your fingers. Some meat can kill you. I take it you don’t avoid dogs or cheeseburgers.
[quote=“PenguinJim”]Didn’t you say that letter would be sent out on Monday this week? And there’s still not been a response? It’s been nearly four days - just under a month - which is more than enough time IMO.
The next logical step would be to hire an assassin.[/quote]
Yup, the deadline given for response is Monday next week, so she has until then to respond. If she doesn’t then we will step things up a bit and start the court legal processes.
Hiring an assassin would be an interesting way to resolve this. Maybe I should call up my ninja buddies from the Ninja Village in Wakayama :roflmao: (actually it’s a ninja-themed park / museum but one of my friends from Uni days did a summer job there back in the day).
Whilst I’d love to know the whys and wherefores of this, I know I’m never going to get them even though she’s had plenty of opportunity to explain. I wouldn’t say that I’m in a mess in terms of wanting to hear from her; other than getting my stuff back, I never want to hear from her ever again.
Sure, it could be a decaying but living reminder that she created her massive fuck up and in a sense, that makes me laugh at her about it. I can’t see how she can walk and play with the dog and drive the car and not be reminded in some way that I bought them and they were not bought for her. And I’m sorry to hear that your ex did the same to you, makes me think that there may be some kind of trend going on here with TW women, although if I said so, people would be jumping up and down and saying that it’s not true. The difference with me is, I actually want all that stuff that belongs to me back. I could replace it, but that’s not going to be for another year or two down the road and let’s face it, I’ve been trying to get these things back from her for 18 months now. If she kept it, it would be a way of me reminding her what she did, yes, but that’s not going to make her think twice about doing it again to some other poor guy (like spotty chubby guy she’s seeing now - feel sorry for the dude).
Yes, some dogs will think your fingers are tasty treats and some burgers have been thrown on the floor in Chinese factories and then packaged up and sent to multinational burger chains, but that’s the exception rather than the rule. It seems from the debate on here that bonkers mad TW girls are actually pretty common here, you mentioned it yourself with the stuff your TW ex still has. I’ve never heard of something like this being so common in other countries, be that Japan, UK, US or wherever - and I’m saying in terms of being common in terms of the actual population. TW has a population of 23 million, so arguably (without looking up the stats) about 11.5 million women. Some of which are OAPs, some of which are still in kindergarten and school, so that makes the available sample so much smaller. So the ratio of ‘psycho’ or ‘bonkers’ women to the rest of the younger, dating female population is way higher (even if you argue it’s a minority), compared to countries with a higher population like Japan (about 127 million in total, so about 63.5 million women), UK (about 63.2 million, so about 31.6 million women) and the US (about 317 million people, so about 158.5 million women).
She kept the stuff, but it doesn’t make her a psycho. And it doesn’t mean all Taiwanese women are like that.
When you get your dog you can spend hours looking at it wondering where it all went wrong. Then you can go for a drive and cry about it.
Move on. Seriously. It’s just emotional baggage. Get a new dog.
[quote=“superking”]She kept the stuff, but it doesn’t make her a psycho. And it doesn’t mean all Taiwanese women are like that.
When you get your dog you can spend hours looking at it wondering where it all went wrong. Then you can go for a drive and cry about it.
Move on. Seriously. It’s just emotional baggage. Get a new dog.[/quote]
Hmmm… I don’t think so, I got the dog because I’m a massive dog lover and have been missing the dog (not her) over the last 18 months. I don’t think I have any emotional baggage relating to her. In fact, if I did, I would be quite mad as no one in their right mind should ever date her! I moved on from her (after what she did) about two months afterwards and have been seeing new women ever since.
And whilst I’d love to get a new dog, it wouldn’t be the same dog. Different personality and all that…
Which is a statement full of emotional baggage. She may deal with two different men in two quite different ways. You even know who she is dating now, project him to be lower than you yet pity him due to your own baggage. You are quite easy to read, Adam Kun.
No, love. You went into shock and now you are in stasis, telling yourself you are fixed. By your own admission you have tossed away 18 months trying to get stuff you could have replaced within two years. Why is that really? You are clinging on. Drug addicts do they same. And, if she did give you your stuff back you’d really start to move on. But you still wouldn’t have any answers and the relationship would still be dead. But she won’t give you the stuff or the answers… so you have hope to cling to. No need to deny it, but fighting to get the stuff back is your way to keep the relationship going. Just accept that she is over you and move on. I sympathise with the pain you have been through, it’s not nice to not get answers. But really, you are doing all of this to yourself now. Ditch this shit and get on with your life.
My considered guess is that deep down you prefer not having the stuff back because it keeps things alive still. You do have the strength to walk away, though. Be strong. 
Totally valid points, but… interesting… That would make her a little schizo then, as if she deals with people in different ways in a relationship, it just means that she can never really be herself. Poor her. And I don’t pity the poor guy because of my ‘baggage’, I genuinely feel sorry for him knowing what she can do to people and will in all likelihood do to him.
[quote=“super king”]No need to deny it, but fighting to get the stuff back is your way to keep the relationship going. Just accept that she is over you and move on. I sympathise with the pain you have been through, it’s not nice to not get answers. But really, you are doing all of this to yourself now. Ditch this shit and get on with your life.
My considered guess is that deep down you prefer not having the stuff back because it keeps things alive still. You do have the strength to walk away, though. Be strong. [/quote]
Hmmm… I don’t think so. The last thing I want is to be with her ever again or keep a relationship going with her. Sure, you’re right in saying I was in shock at what she did and to be honest, I was for a month or two afterwards, but I moved on, had a kind of rebound relationship with someone in Japan from May through August in Japan last year and have been in a relationship with someone else since September last year, so almost a year already. Although it’s not super serious, we don’t live together and I keep questioning whether or not she would be a great long-term relationship partner, I do like her in many ways more than the mad TW ex. But I am keeping my options open in Japan just in case. So in an emotional / relationship kind of way, I’m way over the TW ex, way, way over the TW ex and to be honest, I don’t give two hoots whether she’s over me nor not - that’s up to her what she feels, but if she were to suddenly decide she’s not over me, then she’s only going to get short shrift from me - I’d never entertain even having a drink with her again in the future.
And wanting the stuff back is not because I want to keep things alive with the girl in TW. It may be true of some people, I’ve heard of people doing this kind of thing to pathetically keep things alive too, but not me. The reason I want things back is for various reasons that I’ve already addressed in this thread, but the main reason for me is that I worked hard for those things and I love the dog, not for her, for me and to have someone steal them just because a relationship breaks up is wrong, very wrong. Which is why I’m now pursuing a legal angle to get them back because, yes I want them back, but I’m kind of hoping that in a human sense, it makes her realise that she cannot do this kind of thing to people and that she will not do it again in the future to someone else. That poor unsuspecting person in the future who may be with her in the future deserves at least that, even the chubby acne guy she’s seeing now does.
[quote=“superking”]
You can say its about your stuff till you are blue in the face (which must be close). But this is about taking control. Well, you can take control by just sacking it off and letting her keep that shit. My Taiwanese ex has my car, my scooter, my laptop, a box of work stuff and a wardrobe full of my clothes. If she wants to keep all that shit then whatever. Let her live in a decaying reminder of the fuck up she engineered. [/quote]
Oh, I tried that one a couple of times. I send the lady a couple of emails asking for my stuff back, when she did not reply, I wrote it off and bought some new stuff.
I still miss the leather jacket, the new one is not as good, but well, I then just buy another next time abroad.
If she is keeping onto the stuff and even stuff she cannot use, then let her.
I had it happening twice since 2011, my former wife kept things like one of the whisks for the egg beater and stupid stuff like that merely to annoy me. When I last year had do downsize from a 5br house in the sticks to a 4br flat in Taipei, I discovered that I needed to dump so much stuff that it would have been better if she had taken more. Really. The less stuff you have the freer you are.
So - it may be a blessing in disguise.
Interestingly enough, she later found some of the stuff I cared about and returned it to me.
I take it you’ve never had a dog. If someone tried to take my cats away from me, I’d fight for custody as if they were human children.
[quote=“Mr He”][quote=“superking”]
You can say its about your stuff till you are blue in the face (which must be close). But this is about taking control. Well, you can take control by just sacking it off and letting her keep that shit. My Taiwanese ex has my car, my scooter, my laptop, a box of work stuff and a wardrobe full of my clothes. If she wants to keep all that shit then whatever. Let her live in a decaying reminder of the fuck up she engineered. [/quote]
Oh, I tried that one a couple of times. I send the lady a couple of emails asking for my stuff back, when she did not reply, I wrote it off and bought some new stuff.
I still miss the leather jacket, the new one is not as good, but well, I then just buy another next time abroad.
If she is keeping onto the stuff and even stuff she cannot use, then let her.
I had it happening twice since 2011, my former wife kept things like one of the whisks for the egg beater and stupid stuff like that merely to annoy me. When I last year had do downsize from a 5br house in the sticks to a 4br flat in Taipei, I discovered that I needed to dump so much stuff that it would have been better if she had taken more. Really. The less stuff you have the freer you are.
So - it may be a blessing in disguise.
Interestingly enough, she later found some of the stuff I cared about and returned it to me.[/quote]
It’s kind of a blessing in disguise that she’s held on to everything for 18 months, as I’ve been moving about a lot between Japan and Taiwan over this period, but half the reason for it is to get the stuff back.
Not that it’s little annoying things like egg beaters, it’s stuff that I actually want back and can make good use of myself. So it’s a legal route unfortunately, not that I wanted to, but I hope as a result of it all the least I get is my stuff back, the most I get is damages paid for what she did (and is provable) and whether either of these happens, she learns the lesson that she cannot do this to the next poor guy that she tries to do it to. Karma’s a bitch, but so is she.
Damn right!!
Damn right!! [/quote]
Sure, but you wouldn’t get it without her cooperation. It’s hard, but it’s how it goes when you share stuff with people and it breaks down.
[quote=“adamu_kun”][quote=“Mr He”][quote=“superking”]
You can say its about your stuff till you are blue in the face (which must be close). But this is about taking control. Well, you can take control by just sacking it off and letting her keep that shit. My Taiwanese ex has my car, my scooter, my laptop, a box of work stuff and a wardrobe full of my clothes. If she wants to keep all that shit then whatever. Let her live in a decaying reminder of the fuck up she engineered. [/quote]
Oh, I tried that one a couple of times. I send the lady a couple of emails asking for my stuff back, when she did not reply, I wrote it off and bought some new stuff.
I still miss the leather jacket, the new one is not as good, but well, I then just buy another next time abroad.
If she is keeping onto the stuff and even stuff she cannot use, then let her.
I had it happening twice since 2011, my former wife kept things like one of the whisks for the egg beater and stupid stuff like that merely to annoy me. When I last year had do downsize from a 5br house in the sticks to a 4br flat in Taipei, I discovered that I needed to dump so much stuff that it would have been better if she had taken more. Really. The less stuff you have the freer you are.
So - it may be a blessing in disguise.
Interestingly enough, she later found some of the stuff I cared about and returned it to me.[/quote]
It’s kind of a blessing in disguise that she’s held on to everything for 18 months, as I’ve been moving about a lot between Japan and Taiwan over this period, but half the reason for it is to get the stuff back.
Not that it’s little annoying things like egg beaters, it’s stuff that I actually want back and can make good use of myself. So it’s a legal route unfortunately, not that I wanted to, but I hope as a result of it all the least I get is my stuff back, the most I get is damages paid for what she did (and is provable) and whether either of these happens, she learns the lesson that she cannot do this to the next poor guy that she tries to do it to. Karma’s a bitch, but so is she.[/quote]
Give it up and move on.
My ex wife wanted the following:
- New TV I bought.
- Sofa and other furniture, also newish.
- Washing machine.
- 1-2 other bigger items.
My response was to do the following:
- Call some movers and ask them to be over there the day after at noon.
- go to 3c, buy a new and better washing machine, ask them to install it the day after 3pm.
- End the day at Ikea, where they were willing to deliver the afternoon after.
- Recall that I am not a TV watcher, I read, so decided to do without the TV.
The operation was executed with military precision, by the time the Ikea guys and the washing machine guys were finished, the moving truck had reached her ancestral home. She refused to open the door, so I went there, walked into the nearby buddhist monastery, and had a chat with the abbot, which let me put her stuff there. They later informed her where they had put it.
She went apeshit after that, I went camping for a couple of days.
Women around the world are more or less the same. I confess here that I used to read some sections of that magazine, Cosmopolitan (Canadian and American).There are those sections where some women tell what they did to their BFs after the breakup. Relationships with western women are not for the faint of heart. Men used to praise the oriental women (the ignorant ones). I’ve been reading these forums about taiwanese women, japanese women and I come to the conclusion that I am living in blessed bachelorhood. Being single is the way to go. For the guys who really want to get hitched, really, be afraid, be very afraid.
I gave my cat to my aunt when my gran died, because my aunt was lonely. My current cat lives with my parents because they have a nicer garden than me. I love my pets, but I can deal with them being happy elsewhere.
On behalf of the scores and scores of dudes (and raccoons) who are happily married to local ladies facing anniversaries in the double digits, with or without kids, well…
Get fucked, junior.
How about the beer in front of you, I think it will taste better over here.
[quote=“Mr He”]Give it up and move on.
My ex wife wanted the following:
- New TV I bought.
- Sofa and other furniture, also newish.
- Washing machine.
- 1-2 other bigger items.
My response was to do the following:
- Call some movers and ask them to be over there the day after at noon.
- go to 3c, buy a new and better washing machine, ask them to install it the day after 3pm.
- End the day at Ikea, where they were willing to deliver the afternoon after.
- Recall that I am not a TV watcher, I read, so decided to do without the TV.
The operation was executed with military precision, by the time the Ikea guys and the washing machine guys were finished, the moving truck had reached her ancestral home. She refused to open the door, so I went there, walked into the nearby buddhist monastery, and had a chat with the abbot, which let me put her stuff there. They later informed her where they had put it.
She went apeshit after that, I went camping for a couple of days.[/quote]
Yes, though that was an ex-wife. Kind of different.
And I did go around with the police - so things were being done like that. Unfortunately:
- I need the computer for work. It’s got much more storage capacity than my laptop. Notwithstanding some medical information I need that I have on there.
- Documents and other bits and pieces I need for my company registration in Japan and new insurers. Some I can get again, others I can’t.
- I want the car back because a.) I spent over NT$ 2 million on it and b.) I need a car in Japan and it’s way, way cheaper just to send my car from Taiwan there, get the shaken done and re-register it there
- A dog is for life, not just for Christmas. I didn’t buy her the dog, I got me the dog, but the dog lived with us obviously. I can get another dog and I’m sure it will be rewarding in its own way, but it won’t be the same dog, not the cute little thing I weaned as a puppy
I’ve read the UK versions of them and they’re pretty scary. Unfortunately these types exist everywhere and think they can get away with things like burning the entirety of a man’s wardrobe, slicing up ties and so on, when actually in most civilised places, this is wanton criminal damage. There are also many stories (I’ll dig them up if absolutely necessary) where the poor guy has then pressed charges and the woman who did it ended up doing jail time. They don’t seem to mention those stories in Cosmopoltan and other feminist rags.
There are lots of things to be afraid of in a new relationship, especially if your previous one was bad. That’s why I’m happy that I have options at the moment, but am also happy that apart from this one TW mad girl, I’ve never had any experience like this ever after breakup, so it was relatively painless to move on (other than the shock that TW girl was so evil). And I have done over the last 18 months. It seems to unfortunately be all too common in Taiwan from many anecdotes on this thread and others. They should hang up warning notices at Taoyuan Airport, just after you get off the plane, after all, many TW guys go off and find women who are not from TW after all!
So can I. But certainly not with her. At least you decided where your pets were going / who you were giving them to. My dog was not given to anyone.
She’ll get her comeuppance soon enough though, especially if she fails to respond to the legal letter by Monday.
OK, sorry regarding the car.
They drive in the left side of the road in Japan no?
That would mean that the steering wheel is in the wrong side?
[quote=“Mr He”]OK, sorry regarding the car.
They drive in the left side of the road in Japan no?
That would mean that the steering wheel is in the wrong side?[/quote]
Yup, Japan is left hand side of the road.
It doesn’t make too much difference really. I’ve driven in a UK car all around Europe (and in a UK camper van all the way across Europe, Russia, Mongolia and China to Japan in 2002 - you can see it here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport3/worldcup2002/hi/team_pages/england/newsid_1953000/1953883.stm - that’s me in the background with the flag). Also, I’ve driven in a European car in the UK, also left hand side of the road.
Lots of people import cars from Europe (steering wheel on the left for right hand side of the road) to Japan, there’s no law against it unlike Taiwan, that doesn’t allow people to import cars with steering wheel on the right from the UK or Japan. I found that out when I tried to import my old car from Japan in 2011, ended up selling it, but given the standard of driving in Taiwan, I can see the sense in the law!!!